True Life Story: My New Wife Is Accusing Me Of Being Controlling-Pls Advice
Good Morning Lively Stones,
Please I need you peoples advise for my wife. My wife is a young woman of 22 years old. I am 43 years old. But the way things happened, I never knew her age when we started dating. We met on Facebook last year. Then, I just divorced my ex wife. I was lonely and just wanted to chat with friends. I never planned marriage so soon after my divorce.
Being with this young beautiful lady made me happy. I thought we were just friends because I liked her being extrovert and fun but she was also very disrespectful sometimes. She talks to me anyhow. And when I correct her, she will start crying. Maybe cos I was captured her beauty, anytime we have issues, I try to make her feel good by apologizing and so on.
Last year, in November, she started talking about marriage and I told her I am not ready for marriage yet. I just got divorced….my four year old son is my ex wife….I still miss them. I usually pray to God for reconciliation with me and my wife in future, so moving on to marriage so early is not my plan. So, I told her…this girl, Susan (not real name), that I am not ready for marriage.
This made her stay away from me for almost a week. Then she showed up in my place and ended up spending two weeks with me. I thought she was ok and wanted us to continue the relationship. Just a few weeks to Christmas, Susan tells me she is pregnant for me. I was surprised. I asked her what she wants to do: of its abortion, she said no. That she will keep the child. I told her ok…I will support her any way I can.
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Then Susan’s mother got involved and said her daughter cannot have a child outside wedlock. That if I don’t marry her…the she will remove the pregnancy. I said ok. It was now Susan who started putting pressure on me everyday…crying that I want to destroy her life. That she wants the baby and she loves me so much…she wants to marry me. Like I said…I have soft spot for Susan….I eventually succumbed to her crying and said ok…we can get married.
Towards end of December, I went to pay her bride price and since then, she has been living with me as my wife. We plan to do traditional wedding later when she gives birth. But since we got married….Susan has been behaving irrationally. She is always on social media…chatting men and when I talk to her….she will say I have not married her fully so she can still act like a single woman.
And this her attitude makes me say things like I can’t marry her if she is still talking to other men. We had an argument about this and things got so heated and I smashed her iPhone which I bought her against the wall cos I told her as long as she is in my house, no more social media for her. This made her angry…she reported to her mother and her mother told her to return home.
Now, she has sent me a message that she has reported me to social services. That I am an abusive husband. So, she wants to remove the pregnancy…its still under three months…I went and apologized to her in her mother’s house and guess what happened, I saw her with a man ,…a young man…I asked her who the guy is…and she aggressively told me to mind my business. Then the young man had the guts to tell me to get out or he will beat me up.
So, I went back home….sometimes, I think I am being to fast with this girl….cos after that incident….I made up my mind to leave her alone…..until she came back two days ago begging for my forgiveness. I am confused…one minute she wants to marry and be with me…next moment, she is talking to other young men….when I talk…she says I am abusive…she will be saying that is why my ex wife left me but its not true…my ex wife left because she cheated…I forgave her but she said she prefer to move on with her new man. I still love my ex till date.
So, I need your advice….should I work things out with Susan or let her go…cos I am not an abusive man but I cannot let her be disgracing me with other men…..anytime she begs…I feel weakness for her…she says she loves me….some persons say its because she is still too young and being married to me…will make her feel like she is trapped…and that I am treating her like a child and not giving her freedom…which freedom….freedom to cheat?
Please advise me…what should I do…I am tired ….she is very beautiful but Susan lacks manners and maybe too young for marriage….I am not old school but I do not trust Susan on social media….though she has promised to change….that she was not cheating,…just catching cruise…that most of the guys used to be her friends….that she can’t just cut them off cos she is engaged to be married….that I am being old school and controlling….am I being controlling?
You see, my ex wife cheated….I fear I can’t stand another cheating saga….I really get super jealous seeing my new wife with other men….on social media or not….what should I do please…
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If all you have said is true,then Susan is not for you. She is way too young for marriage,not matured enough to handle marital issues.
You have to warn that soft spot of yours over Susan,she is a baby and still wants to enjoy her youthful life outside marriage.
Here is the deal,if there is a way you can reconcile with your Ex wife,please do ,so that you can live as family,If not,ask Susan to go.
She needs to leave you alone,she is affecting your life mentally, physically, socially and other wise,you can’t continue in this marriage like this.
Leave Susan alone,LET HER GO. FREE HER,she needs freedom to be chatting with other men .
Make una try to dey use overall,to avoid all these stories of pregnancy,are sure you even impregnated her? Hummmmm
A man of your age sound this confused because of a small girl! I bet that pregnancy is not yours! Leave that girl girl and heal first! She and her mother are manipulating you big time! If not that abortion is sin against God and man, I would have said call their bluff! You need a matured lady! Not a girl suckling! In your mind you have caught a small girl! Onu ugu! You can’t have peace of mind! Allow her go!
Na obanje dey worry susan
Are you sure the baby is yours or they are trying to pin it on someone who is old enough to be married ?
Was the man with her her Brother or Lover.
This sounds like endless trouble.
Why not marry a more mature lady who knows what she wants and will focus on her marriage?
Susan is not ready for marriage, do not accept her back. When she gives birth, do a dna test to be sure you are the father. You can send money to support her while she lives with her mother
mr man listen to me real good ,Susan is gaming u right from the onset ,she thinks so ridiculously low of u as a man from the onset u totally spoilt her and made her believe she can get away with everything.
Susan was spoilt by you first she wrong u ,u are the one begging her ,how in heavens name do u ever expect her to respect u ,to her u are a beta man who she can roll away with other men as she wants and still come back to u when she wants ,who accept that kind of lady,shit .
u keep forgiving her ,no wonder she is relentless in hurting u ,and trust me she is going to do another dark and hurting thing to u ,the question is when ?
u don’t apologise to a woman who wrong u ,never and ever ,u are spoiling her ,now Susan is a spoit brat thanks to u ,
forget her tears ,it is just manipulation she has guage u and she knows she can sex any guy ,and still come back to u.
once a woman knows she would always get away with anything from her man ,it is like a man giving her the certificate of misbehavior .
why waste ur time on an inmature ,opportunist , clandestine lady like Susan ,where there are billions of good lady in the world ,who would treat u the way u deserve.
How can u even guarantee that the child is yours ,she doesn’t respect u ,and this is the worst sin a woman can potray to her man , disrespect is the worst sin and should not be overlook .
oga pls if she wants to abort it let her abort u ,she is just a red flag all through ,how can u even stand in one second to endure such kind of girl .
she is beautiful , but her character is ugly , oga she is ugly ,if she likes she should be an angel if her character is sick ,her beauty is sick too .
if I am u ,I would help her in aborting the baby of course I can’t even endure such a woman ,who knows if she was getting sex from another man before she came to urside.
I think u not only need to end the relationship with Susan but also to work on ur mentality ,u are too nice ,and niceness if it is too much would make u get ridicule one way of the other .
ur ex cheated on u ,now this new lady is doing the same ,so ur behavior as a man is making them feel they can treat u the way they do .
if u dare continue the relationship with Susan u are in for the worst ,infact u would discover ur ex is better .
the pregnancy ,the tears, the asking for forgiveness and her not changing is just her playing ur head ,the basic and most simple thing she can do for u us to respect u .
beauty is temporary with time it fades away , character is everything .
You don’t need advise rather you need deliverance. You got divorced and a young woman cajoled you into marrying her wow… you should desist from seeing her immediately and move on with your life. You need not be involved in any relationship for now instead give yourself time to heal and think straight
It’s obvious that Susan isn’t a wife and not ready to be tired to you because she can’t be your wife.
Susan is young but manipulative.
I understand that you need to move on but can you focus on yourself and heal?
You don’t need a woman to heal, clear your head and be sure of what you want.
It’s wrong to keep attracting the wrong women especially cheats.
I sincerely doubt the baby is yours.
Susan and het mother have you as their toy and money bank. You should be bold to end the madness because you run mad from depression or mental breakdown.
Be strong and firm. Soft spots don’t heal hurts when you are deceived and hurt.
A girl that permitted someone to insult you and can’t tell who he is and her mother watched it happened, I’m sure one day they will run you ad their errand boy then they finally have you as their caged bird.
Walk away. If you can travel, do so. If you must relocate to another part of the town, do so.
If you want to be sure, run parternity test on the unborn and be firm no matter her resistant.
For once, be in charge not by being angry but be firm.
I pray love finds you.