HomeAdviceTrue Life Story: My Newly Wedded Wife Refused To Consummate Our Marriage

True Life Story: My Newly Wedded Wife Refused To Consummate Our Marriage

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True Life Story: My Newly Wedded Wife Refused To Consummate Our Marriage

Hello Lively Stones,

This matter is heavy in my heart and my mouth. I do not know if this a prank or real…I am actually very scared it might be real. Since I got married to my beautiful wife a week ago, we have not been speaking or even had s3x. This may sound like what you see only in the movies but its true. My wife is seeking an annulment of our marriage.

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Yes, she refused to have s3x with me, she wants an annulment. I got married last week to the woman I courted for almost two years. The wedding and everything was beautiful. After the wedding, we asked that all the gifts we were given at the wedding be sent to the house while the envelops which contain cash or cheque gifts be given to us as we went to the hotel.

My wife actually suggested we wait till the next day to open the envelops (I regret ever making such a stupid suggestion) but I was probably too excited to find out how much cash gifts people gave to us, I asked her to join me to open the envelops quickly so we can get down to action of our first night together as married couple. We went through the envelops very excitedly as we counted our cash gifts.

ALSO READ: Wedding Night S*x as a Virgin – Bride Shares Her Experience One Year After

Only my wife opened one envelop and it was not cash gift, its was a pregnancy test result and a note from my ex. The test report showed she was two months pregnant, and the note said: congratulations on your wedding and soon to be a father. Initially, I laughed at it cos I thought it was a prank but the look on my wife’s face showed she was not laughing.

My wife immediately became cold…she asked me if I have been seeing my ex…I told her no. But that was a lie. I actually saw my ex twice three months ago. It was during one of those times, I had a brief argument with my fiancée…I got so angry cos anytime we had a misunderstanding; she would ignore me for days…infact…I felt like I was always begging her after every argument.

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So in annoyance and under the influence of alcohol, I hooked up with my ex but made sure I used condom…so here I am looking so dump cos I cheated but I am afraid cos I am not sure why my ex sent such a wicked note and the test result. Of course, my wife refused to have s3x with me that night and since that night because she said until I prove that I did not see or sleep with my ex before we can consummate the marriage.

I got upset with my wife for being so naive to believe the test and the note but she insisted and said, to clear myself…I should call my ex….put her on speaker and ask her to retract the claim that was the one who got her pregnant. She said she had heard rumors of me messing around but she chose to ignore them cos she never could prove them. My wife reported me to the pastor and pastor too is insisting that I call my ex and verify this before any marriage consummation will take place.

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Secretly, I have called my ex….she said the pregnancy is mine, but I told her how come when I was wearing condom…. she is insisting its mine and is ready for DNA test to prove it. I am actually scared of how sure she is that I am the one…. did the condom slip or burst? That sounds like a dumb question I know but I do not know how else to save my marriage.

I am actually surprised that my wife and the pastor are demanding proof before I have s3x with my legally married wife…Is that not too extreme? They are taking this thing too far but I kind of feel this marriage is over before it started because my wife’s demand clearly shows we are already having trust issues. Yes, I messed up…maybe the pregnancy is mine…but how do we even have a marriage when there is no trust.

It’s been eight days after our wedding…no s3x …my wife is barely speaking to me….this thing is really hurting both of us…what do I do? How do we solve this matter without me revealing I hooked up with my ex 3 months ago…..

Anonymous

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Jzhane
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

7 COMMENTS

  1. Ur problem spring from the time u were always apologizing to her ,if u tell a woman sorry even when u know she is wrong ,she would expect u to say sorry for everything , this was were the problem generated from , marrying a lady who finds it difficult to forgive ,u are legally married to her ,and she is not supposed to stop u from having sex , Because it is legitimately ur right ,u have been put in a tight position ,so let’s get this straight if u are the father of the baby ,she won’t have sex with u that’s nonsense ,I see it as a scam ,with everything u said u failed to address her attitude problem thats why u are where u are now ,if she continues this way ,then I too can’t continue the marriage ,ladies actually punish men with sex if they realize that the man can’t get it from any woman or better still she doesn’t feel u are very good in bed ,she feels she is using sex to purnish u ,this is wickedness .
    If I were u she has limited time to get herself together and face reality or better still return Evert dime money I spent on her drowry ,this is bullshit ,how do u even think to endure such woman in the first place ,when u realized that u always need to be begging her ,are u the worst sinner ? u guys are married and there is nothing except for fasting and tiredness do u refuse ur partner sex ,I guess u are a Christain ,even pagans do not think otherwise ,u are in her frame and this is totally wrong ,go for the DNA if she does not want to forgive u ,bro with all sincerity u would need to let her go ,ur only mistake is ur refusal to be transparent with ur wife ,u should have told her but that’s the problem with men who choose to love women that have problem understanding ,forget u use condoms ,fear woman any woman u have sex with can destroy u ,it was a deliberate act ,so u either accept the baby or u become a murderer by going for abortion ,this alone displeases God alot .
    Happy married life and welcome to fatherhood.

  2. You have a good wife oooo,infact ,if I were you ,I will tell her the truth,call my ex and justify myself.

    You have to do whatever you have been asked to do oga. Call your ex right before your wife, period. You were under the influence of alcohol and didn’t know when you did flesh to flesh without protection.

    It is so bad for your wife to have seen such on that very day,God just wanted to expose you, that was why she was the one that saw it first instead of you,if to say na you,you for code.

    Chaiii,this God is a miracle worker,He allowed your wife to see the pregnancy test first.

    Just confess and be free, remember your marriage is just a week, remove ego and pride,e get why bro.

  3. You sound selfish and entitled. And how anyone chose to blame your wife and blame it on you apologising is insane.
    You cheated, you lied, and you are still lying that you didn’t do what you did but here you are talking about others being too extreme. At what point do you intend to take responsibility for your wrong and fix yourself instead of blaming your wife and pastor? (Everyone else but you who is the real problem).

    Put yourself in her shoes, you found out on your wedding night that she was pregnant for her ex, how easy will you take it? Will you even be calm enough to wait for proof like she is doing?

    You and anyone supporting this nonsense need to learn how to put yourself in people’s shoes and fix up. Stop damaging other people because they gave you a chance to be part of their life.
    Seek an appropriate and respectful way of addressing this and stop blaming everyone else. Your wife has the right to divorce you if she so wishes, it is her life and her decision, you’ve made yours with your ex.

  4. I don’t understand the reason people can’t get over their ex. You have someone you want to marry and still went ahead to call your ex because of the misunderstanding you had.
    If you still want your marriage to work do what your wife wants. It’s obvious you would keep cheating on her though because you never got over your ex. And get ready because your ex won’t let you go.

  5. Who consummates such marriage! God almighty don give you your size for a wife who wont take “shit” from you . And its good. Pardon me if I sound harsh but your sense of entitlement over this matter too is appalling.

    Please come down from your high horse of “African man mentality”. Not anything goes again. Except you can take it if the coin flips.
    Confess your wrong , show some remorsefulness , Fu*king your wife is not the next thing for you, sorry.
    Let God and man forgive you,then you can take it from there.
    it will be well.
    Peace.

  6. Why are some women that always tell women not to confess adultery to husbands all of a sudden want men to confess fornication before marriage to wives.

    Bro, own up, but be prepared she will cheat and when you find out, she will say you too cheated.

    That’s women for you. They hate accountability.

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