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True Life Story: My Relationship Life Is Now Complicated-Pls Advise Me


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True Life Story: My Relationship Life Is Now Complicated-Pls Advise Me

Hi Lively Stones,

Two years ago, I got a job in this beautiful company (I don’t want to mention the name). Its an international company and its always been my dream to work there. When I resumed, I was also newly engaged but my fiancé just got admission to do his masters abroad. So our relationship became long distance, although we call each other every day. Personally, I expect anyone who is my partner to be faithful, long distance or not because I also I am faithful. Cheating is a deal breaker for me.

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Tony, a colleague of mine used to be friends and he was single. Tony used to tell me how much he admires how I am faithful in my relationship cos alot of guys tried to flirt or toast me but I refused all of them. Tony asked me to find a girl like me for him cos he admires my virtues alot. I do not kike introducing people, I have never done that before but I have a friend, we are not that close but we talk casually. I thought this girl was a bit like me, so I asked her if she does not mind me introducing her to someone.

This girl, Anne….agreed. So I introduced Anne to Tony. They started ok but after a few months, they started having issues. Trust issues and communication problems. I did not rest from both of them complaining about each other to me. In the midst of it, I heard a rumor that my fiancé was dating a white girl. So while I was busy settling quarrels with Tony and Anne….Tony was also like a confidant for my own issues cos he was my friend too.

Eventually….Tony and Anne broke up. He said she was nothing like me and he was very unhappy in his relationship. Tony said he will not date any girl until he finds someone like me. Two weekends ago, Tony came over to my place and we spent the entire day together. Eventually, he was feeling me, me too I was feeling him. We kissed and made out….he fingered me but there was no penetrative s3x. But now, it really felt like cheating which I do not subscribe to.

Tony tells me he is in love with me…I am emotionally confused but I like Tony alot. I want to be faithful to my fiancé but I have every reason to suspect him. He does not call me as often and he lies all the time. Tony feels I should forget my fiancé and lets focus on our relationship. I told him to give me some time to think about it. A few days ago, Anne calls me to help her beg Tony…that she messed up and she wants to work things out with him. Tony does not want her at all…infact, he said she repulses him.

ALSO READ: True Life Story: My Relationship Life Is Now Complicated-Pls Advise Me

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So my confusion is this: Should I give feelings for Tony a chance? What of Anne that is still un love with him even though he does not like her? What of my fiance who I am suspecting of cheating but I have not caught him red handed. My emotions are slowly betraying me. I do not like being what I am accusing my fiance of….so maybe its better to call off my engagement right? Should I? I think I am in love with Tony with every passing day. It feels very reassuring to be in love with someone who is first your friend. With Tony, I don’t force it….it happens naturally.

What would you do if you were in my position? Will you give Tony a chance and forget about Anne? Or will you break up with a guy you are engaged to but you suspect him to be cheating? I have also found myself to have cheated in a way…so is there any reason to hold on to this long distance relationship? Its really complicated.

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Please advise me.


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. You need to make up your mind on what you really want,don’t be confused please.

    You know the two guys, Tony and your fiance very well,you know who is best for you….

    For me,I will go with Tony,he seems to know what he wants,he is disciplined and has self control,stay with Tony and let Anne forget about him. You have to be sure that you no longer want your fiance abroad before giving Tony a chance,it is not when he comes back to Nigeria after his Master’s,you will now dump Tony.

    Be intentional,know what you want,you know their qualities,is Tony good for you? Check well,please. Is Tony talking marriage? Decide on what you want,the ball is in your court.
    The two men are at your beck and call,so choose.

    God bless you!

  2. You needs to talk with your fiance and be open with him. In long distance relationships these things are bound to happen.
    Ask your fiance his plans on returning and marriage. It is not enough to be engaged, there has to be a plan you are working towards.
    If he is still serious, then focus on him and leave Tony alone.
    But if you think you prefer Tony better, then let your fiance know too.

  3. I believe it’s because you see Tony every passing day that’s why u feel u falling in love more. Maybe just maybe if you spend time with your fiancée more u would realize you just needing attention and it’s just infatuation you feeling for Tony


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