HomeAdviceTrue Life Story: My Ungrateful Brother Is Throwing Away His Future

True Life Story: My Ungrateful Brother Is Throwing Away His Future


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True Life Story: My Ungrateful Brother Is Throwing Away His Future

Dear Lively Stones family,

I need your help and advise. I am a member of this platform for over 2 years now and it has been a blessing to me. That is why I have come here for advise from my people. So, my name is Rose (not real name). I am 26 years old fashion designer. I come from very humble background. I actually came to Lagos to do house help work 5 years ago because my mother is a farmer and the family is not doing well financially.

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From being a maid, I learnt how to sew. I struggled till I was able to start my own fashion business this year. I saved some amount of money to rent my own place, a one room apartment. The place has a front place where I can place my machine and sew. when I got this place, the landlady was very kind to me, because she saw I was a struggling young person. I did not have the complete money, so she removed the agency fee and asked me to pay only 70% of of the rent, I can pay the balance anytime I can come up with the remaining money.

So, gradually, I have been trying to stand on my feet. My mother convinced me to bring my 19 year old brother to Lagos to stay with me cos she does not like the idea of me staying all alone. Plus that, they wanted my brother to learn a trade cos since he finished secondary school, he did not even pass…he has not been doing anything. And he was becoming a headache for my poor mom.

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Since my brother came to Lagos, he refused to do anything. He refused to learn any trade. He said he wants to do music, he wants to be a rapper like Naira Marley. How is he going to become a successful musician with no connection? Inside this very competitive music industry….I am not even sure his rapping skills are that great. I told him to find a trade or a job …he refused. So, its been headache for me as well. This boy is not serious. He will plait his hair and be wearing ear piece rapping from morning till night.

When I even asked him to learn sewing from me, so I can pay him small, he refused. I tell my mother that this boy is useless but the poor woman cannot do anything so I have to keep being a big sister, trying to talk to him. The next thing that happened was, I started seeing him with our Landlady’s daughters. They are young girls, one is in Uni while the other one is writing JAMB.

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So, I asked my brother why he is always hanging with the girls and he will be like, cant he have friends? I said as long as he does not misbehave cos I don’t want any trouble. Before my brother came, I stay and mind my business. But every minute, my brother is going to their house and saying they are just chilling cos they are young people.

Now, trouble has come. Last week, my Landlady came to my room and started banging on the door around 5.30am. She kept calling me and my brother out. When we came out, she was shouting and calling me and my brother ingrate. I started to plead with her cos I had no clue why she was shouting and insulting us. She ordered us to her apartment instantly.

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We got there and she told me that her elder daughter is pregnant and she said my brother is responsible. Mo gbe!!!….The girl was crying and also said it that my brother was responsible. I looked at my brother…this good for nothing boy…I asked him what happened…why is he sleeping with this girl? At age 19? No job ….not even sure of his future….hes not even thinking of his poor mother struggling back in the village.

My brother said he is not responsible for the pregnancy ….that the girl is trying to blackmail him cos she is jealous that he like the younger sister. That the girl has been trying to get him to be his girlfriend but he told her that he prefers the younger sister. That ever since, the girl has not allowed him to rest. That both sisters are fighting over him.

When the landlady heard that, she asked the other girl if she also has slept with my brother…she said yes. At this time, the landlady is speechless…me too…am so afraid. Next thing the woman says, what are we going to do now? That pregnancy is involved and my brother must marry the daughter. My brother said he is not responsible because he slept with her on the 7th of this month and since on the 10, she started saying she is pregnant.

According to my brother, the girl is already pregnant before they slept together and she is trying to pin the pregnancy on him cos you cannot have s3x and get pregnant in 3 days time. I sat on the floor completely powerless….looking at the stupid boy…I started begging the woman to please have mercy that my brother is foolish and that he cannot marry now cos he is young and jobless.

The woman said their religion is against abortion and he must marry her daughter. And to make matters worse, the second girl is saying over her dead body will she allow my brother marry her elder sister cos she knows its a trap. When we asked the question why on earth my brother slept with the 2 sisters when he knows its only one he likes? He said, the both of them are forcing themselves on him, both competing to get his attention.

ALSO READ: My Brother’s Wife Betrayed Him But She Says Its My Fault

That the elder sister practically almost raped him. The landlady is very upset by this time. Me, fear don catch me. I could not call my mother cos I do not want her to be worried. So here I am stuck with this foolish boy and I do not know what to do. The landlady is insisting on marriage. Both sisters are fighting each other…and my stupid brother is busy talking rubbish.

This woman was nice to me…now she is saying we should pack out of her house if my brother refuses to marry her daughter…I have no where else to go…I just paid for this place with my life savings. All my hard work….is going down the drain cos of a useless brother. The woman sef is confused cos the 2 girls are also fighting and calling each other names…she says my brother wants to ruin her children, so we should agree to marry teh pregnant girl or move out of her compound before the end of this week.

Please advice me cos I do not know what to do…my mentor here in Lagos, one woman I served as a maid years ago, has come to beg the woman but she says she does not want to see us if my brother will not take responsibility. My mentor is advising brother to accept responsibility just to allow peace reign and everything settle down. That anything can change in future.

My brother is saying no one can force him and he will run away from the house if we try to force him…I am totally confused cos if he runs away, he might join bad gangs and this woman will still throw me out. Where will I start from?. This matter is bigger than me. This ungrateful brother has ruined me…I need advice on what to do.


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. This also boils down to parental training,your brother has ruined everything for you.

    Your brother cannot take responsibility of that pregnancy,what does he know? He is young and naive,he has made a great mistake by mingling with those untrained girls.

    He has to stay somewhere for now,let him go back to your mother for now because as long he lives in that house,your landlady will be so mad at him,you have to keep begging,she has been nice to you,keep begging her and also have a plan B Incase she gets angry and decides to throw you out.

    It is well,your brother no try,what training did he get while growing up? Take heart my sister,if to say you know,him for dey him dey ooooo.

  2. What if your brother is not responsible, sebi he told you he slept with her on 7th and she said she is pregnant on the 10th. Aunty, calm down, even if your brother is unserious, does that mean he is responsible for the pregnancy.

    People should learn to be logical in issues. Haba.

    Abeg calm down.


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