True Life Story: My Wife’s Mother Opened My Eyes To See A Different Side Of My Wife
Hi Lively Stones,
My wife and I met as Students in Canada. We got married and were doing very well but after a while, I decided to return home, my dad is old and wanted me to take over the family business. My wife did not like the idea because she told me when we got married that she is estranged from her mother. That means, she and her mother are not talking.
My wife told me that soon as her father died, her mother started sleeping around and never had time for her. Her mother always sent her to boarding school so she cannot stay in the house with her numerous boyfriends. Even during holidays, she made her stay back in boarding school or sent her off to her grandmother’s place or her Aunties place. Suffice to say, my wife hates her mother.
Our wedding was in Canada, only her friends in Canada attended whilst all my family members in attendance, even from Nigeria. At the time, I did not really want to bother my wife because anytime I brought up her trying to make up with her mother, my wife goes ballistic. So, when I decided to relocate to Nigeria, I feared my wife was afraid of seeing her mother again, so, I agreed that she can stay back in Canada and look after the children.
Its been a year since I came back to Nigeria. I decided to do some investigation into my wife’s mother. She is a wealthy woman, well known in Rivers state. I located her and paid her a visit two months ago. I introduced myself as someone that knew her daughter while in school in Canada. I never told her I am her daughter’s husband. Soon as I mentioned my wife’s name, her face changed.
This woman became upset and said…why are you here? That she has no daughter by that name and she wants nothing to do with her. That was when I told her, I was her daughter’s husband and I want to know why she hates her daughter and her daughter hates her. She said she does not hate her daughter but her daughter was so a spoilt child and she was possessed.
That at age 15, she was already sleeping around. Her father was alive then but nothing they did could change her behavior. Then when the father died, she became more out of control so she sent her to boarding school. She was expelled from school for many truants. When she brought her home to be a day student, she said her daughter started seducing her new husband.
That her daughter and husband started havings3x behind her back. At 17, her daughter had had 2 abortions for her husband whom she already has twins for. That when she discovered, here daughter lied that the man raped her. She divorced the man but the man almost committed suicide few months later because it was a huge scandal. So because of this, she and her daughter became estranged.
In her thinking, she felt it would be better her daughter stayed away from her and her twins because the twins father almost died because of affair with her. She and the husband are reconciled because he showed her several evidence that it was her daughter that kept forcing herself on him. Her mother also found out her daughter was sleeping with several married men in the neighborhood. She also decided that she cannot have the husband of her children and her daughter in the same house.
All these that my wife’s mother told me really disturbed me. She said her daughter hated her because she exposed her lies. It made me realize that my wife had been through so much and was probably too damaged and there is no point of trying to reconcile her and her mother because her mother has children for the man that she had an affair with.
When I told my wife’s mother that my wife was back in Canada with our kids, she told me to never trust my wife because, she knows my wife is a nymphomaniac. Someone is addicted to s3xs alot. That my wife got it from her father. Her father was a chronic womanizer. So, she knows its genetic. So, my wife must have been hiding who she truly is from me. I told her my wife has truly changed.
After I left this woman, I was not at ease. I wanted to make sure she was not lying so I made a surprise visit to Canada last month. On getting home, my wife was not home by the time she was supposed to get back from work. The baby sitter was with the children until 9pm. I asked the baby sitter to go and waited for my wife until she got back around past 12 mid night.
My wife reeked of alcohol and was surprised to see me…she explained she went out with her female friends but I was not having it. All the years of marriage, my wife has never being on a girls night out….so why now, she said she was bored since I was not at home. We had a huge fight and argued alot….
At some point, I told her I had gone to see her mother who told me she was a nympho. My wife got so mad and told me she wanted a divorce. It was horrible. She told me her mother’s husband raped her and forced her to have abortions, When I told her that the man showed evidence that she was the one exposing herself to the man, she admitted that she was a lost kid who mistook the man’s love for a father’s love.
According to my wife, when the relationship with her step father started, she mistook it for fatherly care. The man convinced her he was in love with her. My wife is truly damaged. The next day, I tried to get her to talk to me. I told her she needs to see a therapist but she was so angry that I went to see her mother behind her back. She claimed her mother has poisoned my mind against her.
According to my wife, she had seen many therapists about this. I asked her if she was a nympho…she said yes…that as a troubled young girl, s3x was her way of escaping the pain of abandonment she felt for her mother. She f*cked any man who showed her a little care but she says, she is no longer a nympho. That is why she does not want to go back to the country that reminds her of her pain.
When I asked her why she went out all night, leaving our young kids with a baby sitter…she could not answer. She just said she was sorry. I asked her if she was sleeping with someone…she said no but I am not sure I believe her. I am not sure I really know the woman I am married to anymore. She hid so many dark parts of her past from me. Just finding out is giving me too much shock than I can bear.
I told her she has to return to Nigeria with me, so I can be close to her and help her, she said never. I think she is still dealing with her past. I think she is not ready to face her past. I think she is in denial. I took her phone and saw that she had been chatting with some guys. Some of them are her colleagues. They were having dirty, erotic chats. Even chats about having threesomes in the office bathroom after close of work. It was obvious She was out with a guy that night. I did not need a seer to tell me that.
My wife said nothing happened. That it was all just flirting but nothing more….Who can believe that? I broke down, I have never ever seen my wife as someone capable of cheating on me with a man talk less of several men…My wife thinks I am judging her because of what her mother told me…that she has not slept with any man since we got married.
So, I left for Nigeria and since then, we have not spoken. I am so worried about my wife and my children. I asked my sister who lives in Canada to be checking on them but that still worries me. Everyday I am thinking what is my wife up to. Clearly, she must be up to something. I am not there to know. I try to call her very often but she is now upset that I am watching her. She said if I do not trust her, we should get a divorce.
The truth is….I do not trust her….not if she is nit beside me. Does this mean our marriage is doomed? Should I move back to Canada, to try and save what is left of my marriage? Will that even change anything? Is my absence the reason she is cheating or was she covering up her real self?
Her mother has said nothing can change her daughter. That I had better leave her alone if I do not want to be destroyed. Her own mother…My family business needs me, they are saying I should demand my wife to return but my wife has refused. what should I do? My home is on fire…I need advise.
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