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True Life Story: My Wife’s Stubbornness & Lack Of Care Is Destroying Our Marriage


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True Life Story: My Wife’s Stubbornness & Lack Of Care Is Destroying Our Marriage 

Hello Lively Stones,

I need your candid advice for my wife. I love my wife so much but I think her stubbornness and lackadaisical attitude is a huge problem  for our marriage. When I was dating her, she was a very hot and s3xy babe. I am someone who likes beautiful things. I take pride in in keeping my personal look, so I told her that she must be 100% fine every time as long as we are together.

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Throughout dating and early marriage, my wife was a gym fanatic. I loved that she made the effort to keep shape and look good for me. People used to stare at my wife’s shape and not believe she is a mother of 3 children. That made me very happy. But two years ago, my wife turned 40 and its like everything changed. For some reason, she stopped going to the gym and stopped taking care of her looks.

Initially…I thought it was a phase that she will outgrow but before I knew it, she started putting on weight. I called her out, that I do not like fat women o…she said its nature, part of growing older. Now she has those fat arms that they call Christian mother arms. I was worried…I told her to watch her diet and go back to the gym but she said she is at an age where she can do whatever she likes and she is tired of worrying about her looks, that if I truly love her, I will respect her choice cos we are not getting any younger.

When I discussed with a very good friend of hers about my wife’s behavior, she advised that I also register in a gym to encourage my wife to start gyming again. Which I did. I do not need to gym but I did it to encourage her.  After lots of complaining, I registered in a gym and told my wife to join me but she refused, saying she has no time.

My issue now is, since my wife is no longer interested in going to the gym and I am going, I see a lot of very s3xy looking females in the gym and many of them are like hawks looking for men. A lot have come to me but I turned them down. I even used to tell my wife about those girls so that she can be a bit jealous and start coming with me to the gym…instead, she will say I should stop going to the gym.

ALSO READ:True Life Story: Pregnancy Changed Everything My Wife Can No Longer Satisfy Me

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To me, I wanted to really motivate her so I did not stop going to the gym. Now, there is this young lady who started coming to the gym two months ago. She is quite shapely and my goodness, all the guys in the gym are looking at her, flirting with her. I tried to stay away but I could not cos she has a shape any man can hang himself for. To make matters worse, of all the fellas clamoring for her attention, I am the one she decided to be friends with.

This lady was like, since I was not all over her, she is interested in me. I told her I was married and she said she too is married but her husband is abroad…all she wants is a booty call (s3x call)…no strings attached. Truly, she showed me her children’s photos. Her children are even older than mine and yet she looks so stunning. I kept resisting as much as I could.

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In fact, I did not go to the gym for a whole week, just to stay away from this woman but seeing how my wife has left her body put me off…you need to see how my wife looks…how she snores because of her growing so fat now. Even love making, she is getting less and less interested…always tired after a few rounds….before we can go several rounds in one day and even continue the next day without getting tired.

I still went back to the gym. The gym lady continued to torture me with her seduction. I began to have s3x dreams of her. I told my wife…instead of her to take my advice…she started praying against any woman trying to steal her husband from her….no one is trying to steal anyone…you are the one that has abandoned your husband. Two months ago, she followed me to the men’s shower/changing room and held on to my manhood, stroking it. I was stunned. I was also afraid to shout. How am I supposed to shout that a woman was hitting on me…same woman every man in this gym wants to knack?

I begged and begged her but she was adamant….until I promised her lets take it outside cos I don’t want to be caught. She said ok…lets go to her car or my car. I agreed. That was how I broke free from her. On getting home that day, I became very upset with my wife, I told her that her stubbornness and I-don’t-care attitude is driving me insane. She knows I told her I wanted her to be hot all through and now she has broken our deal…I told her I was going do as I please from now if she decides to do as she also pleases.

Instead of my wife to understand me, she told me to do as I like cos she will do as she likes. That they are men who like fat women….she too will go and meet them. I swear, I was so angry, I called the gym lady…met up with her at a hotel and f*cked the shit out of her. I was filled with so much rage that I feel from my wife totally ignoring my request. I could not talk to my wife after that. She thought I was angry about our discussion but I was  feeling guilty for cheating at the same time.

ALSO READ: Wives Be Careful-A Trusted Family Member Is Driving Me Insane With Lust

Even after this, my wife did not speak to me for days. She ignored me. That further drove me to see this woman more and more. On the sixth day, my wife realized I was cheating, she went ballistic….she went crazy and started to beat me. I did not lay a hand on her cos its not my nature to beat a woman. She was so mad that inflicted several injuries on me. I left the house that day and came back late at night.

My wife continued quarrelling…shouting ….calling me names. What she did not know is that the more she did all those…the more she was pushing me away. My wife reported me to my family, they called me. I told them everything how my wife stopped taking care of herself to when she even refused to listen to my pleas for her to look good again. A family meeting was called and my wife told them that she will never trust me again cos I broke her trust by sleeping with another woman.

You see how stubborn she is…instead of her to see how she can take responsibility of the situation and begin to work towards the issues I am not happy about …she is talking about trust. I have no love for the woman I f8ck…. I just love f*cking her cos she is s3xy and very hot. I am not asking for anything else….just take care of your body and I will never look at another woman ever again in my life. My own is why is she so lazy to even make an attempt? I think she no longer loves me.

Everyone saying marriage is not about physical looks, how can you tell a man to love your soul when you cannot even take care of your body. Everyone has tried and told her to try and work on herself…and I too should learn to accept my wife the way she is…I cannot accept that…my wife too… she is being stubborn and talking about broken trust….did she not break my trust first by letting herself go? Its not like I did not tell her about this before we married…I know women tend to let themselves go after marriage and I never wanted this …so I told her from the get go.

Some people might criticize me for cheating…I am sorry but I cannot pretend. I say it as it is….some will say…did I marry my wife just for her looks? Yes…I married her first for her looks before anything else. I am not vain…it is just how I am. I am a visual man. I get turned on by what I see and if my wife is no longer attractive to me, yet refuses to do anything about it….I will still love her but I will not make love to her….

S3x is about attraction…let no man fool you…my stubborn wife has refused to understand this…now tell me what else I am supposed to do? I am not a priest. I started having s3x at age 14…I am only 42 years old…I will enjoy s3x till I am 100 years. My father is 67…he is still s3xually active…so why will my own wife sentence me to seminary, a s3xless life, at such a young age? why will she not care about what I care about?  Why will she not make an attempt to look good for me if she says she loves me? I don’t get  it and I don’t know what else to do.

Please advice me…I do not like that I cheated but my wife left me no choice. If only she was not stubborn…I know men who tell their wives how to dress…the wives listen…mine will not. She will be wearing bubu around the house. I even bought her some s3xy lingerie and waist beads, just before this whole issue started…she refused to wear them, saying its not comfortable.

If her s3xual drive or youthful has dried down because she is 40 years old…then we have a serious problem. For me, its not just that our s3x life is suffering, also because she is refusing to listen to me…it means she can no longer be submissive and for me…She no longer cares about my opinion. That is such a big turn off for me.

This marriage is no longer making sense to me. I have tried my best to communicate, if its some men…they will not even say anything…they will just loose interest and find pleasure outside but because I love my wife…I have been communicating yet…she is as stubborn as a mule. Maybe she never believed I can cheat on her…but who cause it? Please help.


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. I’m sure if we talk to your wife she will give a different story.

    Oga calm down. Your wife still loves yo
    u but understand that she’s grown older and has changed. This is a new phase of life for her. You can decide to understand her and keep on loving her, even speaking with not to her lovingly or complain and continue cheating. It’s up to you

  2. Hmmm, you really need to calm down sir. Cheating on her will only pull you both apart. Two wrongs will never set thing right. Both of you are simply being selfish. Drop your ego as a man and have a heart to heart talk with her. I’m sure she’s not a devil. Ask her her plans for your marriage at this phase . You should know how to get to your woman. Listen, talk , listen again . Show her more love (communicate in love). Above all pray for your home. Shalom.

  3. You have really spoken well and said your mind but at the same time ,you still need to be patient and calm with her.

    Being single and being married are two different things,she looked so good and attractive because she was single then,now that she has given birth and feels she no longer needs to look good because she is already married,you still need to calm down.

    You have to stop cheating with a married woman and keep talking to your wife, cheating on her will not solve the issue,how long do you intend cheating if she doesn’t work on herself?

    Please please and please,for the sake of your innocent children,be patient,watch and see,keep talking to her,okay,I believe she will change one day,but please stop the act of cheating,it doesn’t speak well of you.

    Nothing will happen to your marriage,work it out,it is well with you.

  4. All through your post, you just kept blaming your wife for your adultery. You slept with another mans wife, and yet you blame your wife, i really pity you man.

    The only words I have for you, is to keep stop this irresponsible life you are living, i don’t see any remorse in your post. We men sometimes,we blame women for issues but same men won’t take accountability for their actions.

    Stop your evil ways.


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