HomeAdviceTrue Life Story: No Friends Without Benefits In This City

True Life Story: No Friends Without Benefits In This City


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True Life Story: No Friends Without Benefits In This City

Good morning Lively Stones,

Truth is, I have seen that people don’t want to help you except for what they can get from you in return. For the past 3 months, I have moved from one place to another just to secure a place to lay my head. I feel so helpless and almost giving up and going back home without accomplishing my goal here in Lagos.

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My name is Oyin (not real name). I came to the city for greener pastures because since I graduated from my OND course, I felt the only place to get a good placement for industrial training is Lagos cos of the course I studied in the poly. When I came, I contacted my distant cousin for accommodation. He agreed and allowed me to come stay with him.

On getting to my cousin’s place, I found out that he was even squatting with someone. That was the beginning of the problem. The friend that was squatting him, kept giving me problems, like he wanted to sleep with me. When he realized I was not going to allow me, he asked me to leave his place.

ALSO READ: True Life Story: Husband Gave Permission To Have Friends With Benefits

I had to go spend a few nights with some colleagues in the office where I am doing my IT, I stayed with male colleagues cos even the female colleagues could not help me cos they too are either living with their boyfriends or squatting with friends. The girls even advised me to get a boyfriend or lover that can let me stay with them cos that is what most people do. That staying in Lagos usually comes with the friends with benefits approach.

The guys that took me in, did not make it easy for me at all. When their girlfriends are coming, they will ask me to leave. I once slept on the corridor outside one night cos they did not want their girlfriend to know I was staying with them. They are living in one room. And to even get my privacy is not easy. I sometimes fear that they stare at me and may take advantage of me.

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Then, my money and some items started missing and when I asked the guys, they would deny. Then , they asked me to contribute to the house keeping even though I do not eat in their house. I contributed 10k yet, my money was being stolen regularly. I became really discouraged and when I told my mom, she asked me to return back home and discontinue the IT program.

I would have loved to stay back and really complete the IT cos I know alot of opportunities will come  for me , to save money to start my career in Aviation in future but this accommodation is really stressing me. To get a good accommodation here is like 350k. The small and irritating cheap places cost like 250k for full accommodation package. I do not have that kind of money, my IT placement pays me 15k and I have to transport myself to the office on the Island everyday.

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Towards the end of last month, I went to tell my supervisor that I would be leaving cos I cannot continue to live with the boys and I do not have any money to get my own place. The supervisor told me that he would speak to the boss for me to get me a loan. The loan was not approved because the boss said the company has not been making profits for sometime.

Right now, I am no where…I slept in the office last week, now, the security has found out and they have kicked me out. When I begged the security supervisor to allow me sleep in their security post, he said I should settle him. I said no problem, that I will settle him. I was thinking he will take like 1k or any small amount.

So, on Friday, I stayed in the security post after work. The next day, the supervisor asked me to give him 5k for the night I slept in their post. I exclaimed that I did not have that kind of money. Why will I pay 5k per night to sleep on a mat with security men? I begged him to collect 1k per night but he refused. I told him I can’t afford it and he said if I cannot pay, that I should let him sleep with me.

I am done for. Ordinary security wants to sleep with me just so I can have somewhere to lay my head? It seems everyone who comes to Lagos without having or knowing someone would not make it except they give in to some of these extorsion or sexual pressure. Some have asked me to become someone’s side chick…others have told me to stop acting like a virgin and use my body to get what I want.

I have been crying since because I have no one else and do not know what to do know except to go back home. Please I need help, is there any NGO on the mainland that can please help me with a place to stay a little while or  should I agree to ‘settle’ the security supervisor or just go back home?


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. This story is so touching. Don’t even know what to say right now.

    Accommodation issue is a serious problem especially in Lagos,things are so expensive not to talk of getting a house.

    Don’t sleep with that stupid security man,very foolish someone,don’t even try it. God will send you help,this too shall pass,amen.

    It is well with you.

  2. Just go to any redeem church and explain to the pastor don’t sleep with that he goat of a guy !

    Hopefully when Livelystone stone completes her accreditation you would have a better place to stay

  3. Yes pls go to a nearby redeem or winners church and explain ur predicaments, I believe they might find a place for u to manage.

  4. Dear poster it’s not really easy securing accommodation in Lagos as things are way more expensive, please don’t sleep with anyone….like others said you can go to any redeem or winners, if nothing comes out, please go back home and re-strategize, you can also make it in other state…I don’t know why men can’t help the female gender without expecting something in return, it’s really bad….it is well dear, everything will be fine…

  5. My dear sister, I love when I read stories where women refuse to give in to sexual advances, I really commend you Sister, you really tried, GOD bless you.

    Contact aunty @auntlanda on Instagram, she will help, I am confident of that. She does her radio show on Sundays 7pm, but reach out to her on Instagram immediately you read my comment. GOD bless you Sister, you will be fine.

    I am really pained on how wicked people can be they can’t help people without getting something in return, my dear sister, please do not give in to any man that asks for sex when you need help.

    I wish you well sister.



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