True Life Story: Now I Have Come To Realize My Marriage Is A Mistake-Pls Advice
Hi Lively Stones,
My life is crazy right now. I am very frustrated and I am at my tipping point. I seriously need your help. My name is Maria (not real name). I am 31 years old. I got married to my husband 2 years ago after dating him for 3 years. All through dating him, I never knew my husband had an addiction for p*rn. I noticed if first when I got pregnant after marriage. I stumbled on him wanking off and watching adult videos.
My husband’s excuse then was that I was pregnant and he was not getting enough S** from me. Before my pregnancy, S** with my husband was at least once in 2 days…like 4 to 5 time in a week. During pregnancy, I was always tired as my belly grew, so S** was like 2 times a week but he never complained to me, I would have even tried to make it up to him.
Running into him using p*rn felt like he back stabbed me. Made me feel like I was not enough for him. But I realize later that it was all a lie. My husband was an addict. He was in several whatsapp groups where girls do nu-d-e videos and he masturbate to them. I quarreled with him for weeks about this. I started praying about it but he found more ways to hide and continue his acts.
Eventually, I let him be, Afterall,….its his life. He would masturbate so much that he cannot even last long in bed when he is making love to me. He started taking drugs and that did not help either. I learned to forget about him because our marriage is young and we were already having issues everyday.
This has been our life until last month, my neighbor found out her maid was pregnant. She beat the girl because she said she did not know who got her pregnant because she was sleeping with my husband and her husband as well. My neighbor called me to tell me what she discovered. I almost fainted. She showed me various videos she made for my husband.
When I confronted my husband, he denied that he ever had S** with her but agreed he did some videos with her. The neighbor kept insisting that the pregnancy cannot be for her husband and so my husband must be responsible because her husband leaves the hosue very early and comes home very late. But the girl said oga was coming to her room in th night.
How my neighbor can exonerate her husband is still shocking to me. The girl is f*cking both our husbands, how do you know who is the father of the unborn baby? What even pained me most was that in the midst of everything, they threw the girl out and she went to call her elder brother who came to make trouble. The elder brother collected money from my husband and went to do abortion for the girl.
My whole life is in a boiling pot. I am feeling so dizzy …I feel like I am going to fall. What kind of wahala is this? If you did not get her pregnant…why pay for her abortion? My husband says he feels bad that he even asked the girl for her nu-d-es and he just wants the embarrassment to go cos now, he knows no one will believe that he only did nu-d-es with her but not physical S**. His excuse is hard to believe.
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My husband is begging me…swearing that there was no S** involved. That he only gave the money because he just wants the girl and her brother to leave him alone. Now, not only do I have to deal with a p*rn addict…am I also dealing with a cheating husband? How do I even begin to endure this kind of problem in a marriage that is less than 2 years? I need help o cos even to pray…this one has weakened me.
I am sorry to say….I think I have made a big mistake in my marriage…how did I not see this issues before we got married? my parents are married for over 35 years…I have never seen them have issues…me, not up to 2 years and I am dealing with such a man that is only breaking my heart? Should I leave? My husband says he will swear by anything I want just to prove his innocence don’t trust him anymore. I am truly broken. Help me.
Anonymous
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Woman you will give him a second chance after that anything he does again,you can go ahead to do what you feel is best for you. I mean life is just too short to deal with the whole of this drama from your husband.
Just be patient, and please pray for him. Prayers works wonders and if he continues,please face your front,just 2years of marriage,he is already doing this. Please be patient with him for now
I can only imagine your feelings right now. This my sister is fixable. You both should talk things through and fix it. it is too early to say you made a big mistake marrying him.
Oh parents did tired their best to hide all the problems they faced in their marriages from us. so I believe every marriage most face its own challenge.
Allow him this one last time., everybody deserves another chance, but give him strict monitoring for few weeks and let him know if you catch him again with any of those act ,you will dissolve the marriage, that few weeks is for him to quash the ways , afterwards I’m sure he change but not totally sha at first , gradually with prayers every morning and night together .
Be very careful and watchful because what you have now is not a changed man but a man who has learnt how to not be caught.
I feel bad for the girl whose life they are playing with
If you have daughters just never leave them with such a father, we have heard alot of stories especially from men like these who seem to have no shame or boundaries.
I always tell people you can’t trust anyone, people will do what they want irrespective of you. Adultery is an intentional act, its never a mistake except there is more to it.
Dear sister, don’t allow it affect you negatively, one thing i do is, i don’t think about a negative issue, I take it that it has already happened so i move on, and i don’t mean you should start commiting adultery.
All i will say is, your happiness is in your hands.
✌