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True Life Story: Please Advise-Did My Indiscretion Lead To The Loss Of Our Child?


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True Life Story: Please Advise-Did My Indiscretion Lead To The Loss Of Our Child?

Hi Lively Stones,

This story might sound crazy but I am in a tight position due to an uncertain indiscretion. Forgive me but I have been very afraid for the last few days. I hope I am just being paranoid and there is nothing to it…I know men who cheat and do terrible things and never suffer for it but I feel my wife and I are suffering for an indiscretion that I am not even 100% sure happened. Let me start from the beginning.

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So, I am married, for the last four years, my wife and I have been trying to have children but it has not happened yet. Its not been easy, the constant fear that something is wrong even though we have both been medically cleared. My wife and her mother have turned our house to prayer house, always fasting and praying. I am not that prayerful, but I support my wife emotionally to the best of my knowledge.

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And as God would have it, in March, we discovered my wife was pregnant. We were so happy and overjoyed. And then, my colleague in the office who lost his father and the office sent me and some people to go represent the office three weeks ago for the father’s burial. I did not want to go but its a colleague that I am quite close to and the place was not far, just Shagamu (not real location) here. We were to go and return same day.

Unfortunately, after attending the burial that day, there was heavy rain that day so we agreed to spend the night in a hotel. My wife was worried but I told her its safer to wait till morning before continuing our journey. So, all of us from the office stayed in the hotel. Then we were served food and palm wine from the colleague’s father’s burial. It was just all of us having a good time but after a while, guys were getting tipsy and started misbehaving among themselves with local hook up girls hanging around the hotel.

I also realised I was tipsy so I decided to go to my room to sleep. There was something about the palm wine that was served, it was strong and it actually was giving me such a hard on. Tipsy and very hard combination was such a bad idea. A colleague of mine noticed and was laughing at me…he was like I should get a girl to help me relax but I was like, I am not that kind of man…I dey go my room go sleep.

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I crashed into my bed soon I as I entered the hotel room. I was probably snoring cos I was not aware when this girl entered my room. Apparently, my colleagues sent a hook up girl to me…I was sleeping but she started touching me and I woke up….I told her no no no….she was like, they promised to pay her well if she gave me a good time…I was like, sorry…am married…I dont do hook up…so she said…how about hand job…I said no still but she was already grabbing my junk…

The wine and hard on did not help…the more she touched and put her mouth on me, I began to loose the battle. I found myself holding on to her head for dear life….I wanted to release so bad. In my head, it was only oral hand job that happened. But when I work up the next morning, both of us were stark naked on the bed…I have no recollection of what happened next. But I felt so much shame and regret seeing a hook up girl sleeping beside me.

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I got up and showered to get dress….it was while showering, the girl woke up and tried to join me to bath with me…I was fully conscious now and so I told her no way….she was disappointed and said she likes me…that I f#cked her good last night…I told her I did not do anything with her…only hand job. She laughed and said….you can’t remember but you were a horse last night…she then asked for my number…I told her to leave cos I never want anything to do with her.

Apparently, she was disappointed that I was now sober and did not want to have anything to do with her anymore. I dressed up and went to the car park to join my colleagues so we can start heading to Lagos. All through the trip, all the guys kept talking about was last night…how wild it was and that the palm wine that was served was a magic worker…I finally realized why I had such a hard on…I refused to talk even when the guys were asking me how was my night…I just kept mute in my disappointment in myself….

Its been three weeks since that trip to Shagam…..I have never been myself ever since. I feel like so bad about what happened with that girl. I try to put it behind me and tell myself nothing happened, it was just a hand job. Five days ago, my wife had a bad dream…she woke up and declared prayers. She said she saw someone trying to destroy me in the dream….a girl, actually a water spirit girl. After she prayed…I was almost tempted to confess to her but I was like, I cannot break her heart like that.

Everything was fine until 24 hours later…my wife called me to rush home cos she was bleeding…I rushed home….it was a huge pool of blood she was sitting on when I saw her…I rushed her to the nearest clinic….they tried everything but she collapsed and lost the baby. I cried and cried and she cried and cried….when we were discharged….she said to me…that she knows that someone…a woman is responsible for the miscarriage…she said they used my face to deceive her in the dream she had…so she thought I was the one they wanted to attack but not knowing that it was our baby they wanted to attack.

You see…..while I am not so spiritual like my wife….I am so scared that I have been thinking that my wife’s dream has something to do with that hook up girl in that hotel 3 weeks ago. I am so scared that I may have slept with someone diabolic…everything about that trip was just not right….we had a good condolence visit….only for rain to start falling when we were ready to go back….and the rain was so heavy….next, they served us palm wine that I suspect was spiked with something cos the way I got a hard on…and my other colleagues too were misbehaving…its not normal.

Now…I can’t remember having s3x with that girl but she claimed we had s3x…why can’t I remember? is that why I have lost my baby? Do you think there is a connection between these events and having a miscarriage? My wife’s dream makes me think there is a connection…..and now, if there is a connection….what do I do? Should I confess to my wife….how do I disconnect myself from whatever spiritual connection I have gotten myself into?

More From Lively Stones

Four years after trying to have a baby….I resisted every temptation to cheat on my wife during these four years…only for me to cheat on her….when she got pregnant….is God punishing me? Why not punish me…why punish my wife and child? Like I said…I am not that prayerful but I feel so attacked right now…..and the thing coming to my mind as the reason for this attack is that wild night….I loose guard that day…God forgive me….I am not even sure what really happened….I really lost consciousness after the so called hand job but then…why were we both naked after….

Or maybe all these are not even connected but I am just being paranoid? Why am I feeling so scared then? usually, when I have challenges like this, its my wife I go to for advise on spiritual matters...but you can understand why I am afraid of going to her or even anyone right now…please help me…what do you advise me to do?



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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Sincerely I want to appreciate your honesty. The truth is you guys were drugged and somehow I suspect that hotel staff, maybe that’s how they get customers for their hookup girls. But then at this point you really need to confess, go for deliverance and avoid any social gathering for now. Yes your wife will be offended, sad and probably throw tantrums but please bear with her. Understand this is not the kind of battle you want to fight alone. Begin to join her for prayers. Well dunamis deliverance night between 11pm-12am won’t be a bad idea

    • Dear poster,I want to believe that all you’ve said here is true and the truth . It’s good to always say things the way it happened so that you can be advised accordingly…

      First of all,your colleagues at work are not people you should mingle or associate with,they did set you up without you knowing it,you didn’t see it coming… you probably have bragged with them and they added something to the wine .

      Second of all,so you want to say that when you entered the hotel,you didn’t lock your door,a public place for that matter,the first thing you should have done was lock the door behind you but I know you would blame this on alcohol

      It’s obvious that the miscarriage your wife had was as a result of the sex you had with the hook-up girl,why didn’t she miscarry before you came back? For four years,she has never conceived right,but conceived and miscarried as a result of your carelessness…..

      You’re not a spiritual person yet you’re mingling with ungodly colleagues,see what they’ve caused you,your eye kukuma dey outside since no be today….

      Here is the advice you seek,confess to your wife,if you don’t confess,she would find out sooner or later,thank God she sabi dream,you better confess and save yourself this whole stress and drama( she kukuma be Joseph the dreamer)

      Lest I forget,hope you’ve gone to check for infection like HIV, hepatitis,STD etc because e get why

      You’ve learnt your lesson,know how you relate with your friends or colleagues, greeting is just enough for those kind of people in your office,if you like go loose guard again

      It’s well!

  2. It’s a good thing you are sorry for what you did and desire solution.
    Most of these hook up girls are into fetish practices. They do these to keep getting customers and hypnotise men to keep coming to them.
    My suspicion is that the lady you went to might be possessed.
    That dream your wife had wasn’t an ordinary nightmare. It was a spiritual attack that resulted to physical loss of your unborn baby.
    To be honest with you, it might not stop there.
    For that hook up girl to ask for your number means that she wasn’t done with you. She wanted to continue having you and your refusal didn’t go down well with her.
    You need to take drastic steps to free yourself and family from whatever hold that lady has on you.

    Confess to your wife. Let her know you didn’t initiate it. Make sure you show her how remorseful you are.
    She will definitely be angry you didn’t tell her sooner. Beg her that you didn’t want to break her heart.
    Tell her you need prayers of deliverance and you need her to be there for you. You can seek for prayers from a reputable deliverance ministry.

    I pray God will deliver you completely and heal your home in Jesus name. Amen

  3. If peradventure you were a woman, under the influence of drugs which wasn’t by your choice. What would you call that Sex ? RAPE!

    Rape isn’t just for women, a man can also be raped . Rape is strictly any sex where *there was no consent*

    You really think God will punish you for being raped ? Come off it.

    I’m sorry for the loss of the child, you surely would get another. The incident has nothing to do with the miscarriage, considering your background regarding this child birth of a thing. Uv been trying all this while, probably fumbling with various medications, herbs, and alot of things that might fumble things up a bit. But with time, you both would be fine.

    Her first pregnancy is a Greenlight that things are about to get better.

  4. Bro,you were raped, report that matter to the right quarters. Who did the palm wine? Who served it, these are questions to be asked.

    Don’t die this matter, fight this matter to the last. Its a rape issue, the wine had effect on you and the lady raped you. Your colleagues too may know about it or planned it along.

    Report to the right quarters. And yes, she may be from the marine world, you see why sex is something that should be done only in marriage.

    Sex is a powerful thing. Bro, report this matter, and let everyone involved face the music. The hotel too may have a hand in it.

    Also, how did the lady enter your room? Like how, did you lock it? Did she use extra key, if she did, who gave her, these are questions that need to be looked into.

    Please, don’t let this issue slide.


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