HomeAdviceTrue Life Story:- Please Help A Desperate Wife Suspecting Husband Is Gay

True Life Story:- Please Help A Desperate Wife Suspecting Husband Is Gay


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True Life Story:- Please Help A Desperate Wife Suspecting Husband Is Gay

Dear Lively Stones,

Yesterday was a terrible day. I was at my lowest and my husband almost made me commit adultery. That was when I realized I needed help. What did I do? I was browsing the internet, downloading hook up apps cos I wanted a man to f#ck me so bad. Yes, you heard me…I wanted a man to f#ck me…do you know why? Because I am a married woman, married for four years and my husband has not f#cked me for almost nine months now.

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I need help because I am finally loosing my mind. I met my husband through a mentor in church five years ago. Thompson my husband was introduced to me as a very vibrant church worker in prison evangelism department. At the time, Thompson was 41 years old and still single. Everyone believed him that he was waiting on God to show him his wife. There were very high commendations that many girls tried to seduce him but he rejected them all.

Myself, I just have been praying to God for one full year for my husband after my last relationship almost broke me. I dated my ex for two years and he was a idiotic narcissist. He made me feel like I was not good enough and eventually, I doubted myself and lost my way. After a year of praying, I thought used my mentor to bring me Thompson. And then Thompson confided in me on our wedding night, that he was a virgin. Ha….I never seen a male virgin.

I had to be the understanding wife, started teaching him everything about s3x and how to pleasure each other. Of course, it was awkward but I have never seen a male virgin and I felt this must be normal for a 41 year old male virgin. He could not get an erection on our wedding night, so I showed him other forms of intimacy which he seemed to like. The next morning, he got an erection and he was so happy that he f#cked like a horse, I bruised. We laughed over it but that was the last s3x we had until two months later.

And that has been our marriage, we make love once in two months or so. I became worried cos when he does not make a move, I make a move but he will say he is not in the mood. Ha, I started worrying and praying to God and God made me get pregnant after one year of marriage. Throughout my nine and a half months of pregnancy, there was no s3x. I cried all through. I reported him to our pastors and he told them that he is not into s3x cos he has been without it for over 40 years of his life. That Bro Thompson is a very spiritual brother, that I should thank God for such a man who is very pius and holy.

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I cloned to his phone to check if he was cheating, I did not see any evidence. When I got my baby, we resumed s3x but this time, once in four months and he lasted less than 3 mins I swear. I started getting more worried but everyone advised me to focus on raising our daughter, and to keep praying for him. I also tried to introduce romance into the marriage but he was just not responsive…no kissing…no cuddling…when I invite him to watch a movie, he says its carnality.

Thompson is just emotionless. I can’t say I never noticed it when we were dating but I thought he was just being a shy Christian brother but now I know he is just not into this thing called romance or s3x. That he does not even want to learn is weird. I eventually got his family involved, his brother and his brother told me that the family knows that Thompson is weird and they suspect he was abused maybe when he was in boarding school cos he bever had a girlfriend all his life. They never ever saw him with a girl. The brother just told me to be patient, and be his friend that perhaps, Thompson will learn to be a better husband one day.

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Well, after a year of this challenge, I started masturbating to satisfy my urges. I became so addicted that even when watching p#rn, I would not be satisfied. I needed a man , a real man inside me. I prayed to God, I cried…I begged my husband…he said I was being carnally minded, that man must not live by bread alone, that I should fast for God to remove my over high libido. I told him I am feeling temptation to cheat and this man said he will not be upset if I cheat ….that he is a Christian and he will forgive me if I cheat. That was when I lost it. Which man in his right senses will say such a thing to his wife?

My own husband is giving me permission to cheat!!!. I wanted to test him, so when he came for the usual once in a month s3x, I turned him away and he did not even say anything. I stayed away from him and started sleeping in my daughter’s room. He did not flinch. That was nine months ago. For the past three months, I have bee trying to find someone to sleep with me. The thing is eating me up. I look at men around me and I been seriously flirting with them but I get scared when they try to respond to me in that manner.

So, I thought maybe I should find a stranger online to do this, so I went looking for hook up apps…and the ones I downloaded asked for details and I wanted to remain anonymous so I dumped it. I was so miserable yesterday. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. Then I started reading why a man would not like s3x. I read many funny things but one thing I read made me start being suspicious. I read that maybe my husband could be gay.

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Gbagam!…That thought never crossed my mind. So, I sent my husband a p#rn video yesterday of gay men doing it. He immediately called me and started insulting me, calling me demon and jezebel. That if I was sent to him, that he will defeat me. Look, my husband has never been harsh or insultive to me…not once…even when I slapped him one time for leaving me s3x starved…he was very clam but this video I sent him got him really mad. And so, I started wondering, is he mad because he does not like the video as a normal person or did I just finally crack this problem? Is my husband gay?

Please help me…I have lost my mind and I feel I might soon have s3x outside my marriage if this problem is not solved quickly….what should I do? Is my husband gay or disabled or sick or abused or what the f#ck is really wrong with him? Maybe I need to set him up…how? What else should I use to test my husband? I am desperate. Help me.


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello i think he needs therapy there is an hidden memory stuck up somewhere try encouragehim and keep praying as to ur urge be encouraged

  2. Dear Poster,

    The fact is you are married to Thompson.

    You are a believer and must accept the fate as it is because you didn’t find out before now.

    Don’t find what will break you completely.

    My question is, if you find out he is gay, will you leave the marriage or have full evidence to cheat?

    If you start cheating will that be the ultimate solution to your husband’s problem?

    Will sleeping with stranger satisfy you and how long will it?

    You need to seek for other ways to get satisfaction from your husband. Be kind to him and do other romantic things and none romantic things around him.

    Dress sexily and often create the mood that gave him the erection he had after your wedding.

    There are natural drinks and seeds that will help a man’s libido, kindly prepare them for him.

    Think of how to build intimacy amongst you two not how to find faults.

    Whatever you wish to find out, be willing to help him solve it.

    I suggest encouraging him to see a therapist. You can inform his brother’s to talk to him and help him on this.

    But, if it’s no longer in your power to handle, you may seek for separation while he works on himself so you don’t get affected to loosing your mind.

    Thank you.

  3. Hello,

    There may be a couple of issues here. One of which may be a reorientation of the place of s.x in marriage.

    This is what the creator of marriage says about it. S.x is not sinful between husband and wife.

    ‘Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.’ 1 Cor 7:5

    Your pastor in church is not quite helping the situation. Can you seek professional help incase there is any underlying issue here eg. childhood molestation etc. especially the way he responded to the video you send him ?

    Please have a grip of yourself, do not open yourself up to sin, extra marital affairs or STD’s.

    Put your feet down and let’s get to the bottom of these issues with a resolution.

  4. Do not commit adultery, I repeat, DO NOT COMMIT ADULTERY, your husband will not be the excuse for it, it will be your choice, because adultery is a planned intentional wicked choice, that aside.

    Your husband may have been raped by a woman when small, or maybe, he is not just into sex, or may have other problems. Even if your husband gives you license to commit adultery, trust me, you will bear the consequences alone, adultery takes people faster to the abyss.

    Talk to his father about it, but be careful of this, some fathers are irresponsible, they sleep with their son’s wife, such stories are on this blog, so be careful, or at best, tell his mother and she must not tell any man too, and please don’t tell any man at all, be it, brother, cousin, friend, neighbours or any man at all, some of them will flirt with you how sexy you are, how you deserve a hard sex, how they will make you never forget them, some will even insult your husband, I repeat, DO NOT TELL ANY MAN about it.

    You need to exercise great patience sister, great one sister. Adultery MUST NEVER BE AN OPTION, no matter how bad it is or gets. You need to have a heart to heart talk with him, take him out, pour your heart to him, in a very patient way. Like I said, you need to exercise great patience sister.

  5. There are some drugs that boost men’s low libido so you can buy it for him and make a cup of tea with it for him without his knowledge. It will boost his sexual appetite, sometimes these things are caused by hormonal imbalance.

    Also you should apologize to him for sending him such a video let him see how sorry you are and also try and have a heart to heart talk with him to find out if there was something that happened to him while growing up that is putting him off sex.

    But if there is non get a drugs e.g(Spanish fly) for him that will boost his sexual appetite.
    Adultery is not an option here.


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