True Life Story: Please help-Two Men Proposed To Me Between Christmas And New Year-Pt 2
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My God…my head became hot I was angry with him for not telling me. He explained that its no big deal, that alot of people live with HIV and can still have safe s3x with others without them getting infected. All he explained made no sense so I broke up with him. I cried for one week. That week, Olu tried to warm his way back to me but I caught him that same week talking to another girl. Olu bought me an iphone to apologize. I don’t even know where he got the money to buy such a phone. I hope he didnt steal it cos I know he cant afford it.
A few day before Christmas, I got a call from someone who said he is Dave’s friend. That he is a doctor. He went on to explain that Dave asked him to call me, to explain this medically.
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From what Dave’s doctor explained…there are alot of people who live with HIV and are doing fine. Many are married and having children and also doing fine. I also did some research and found out from my own doctor that Dave’s HIV status can be managed and I do not have to worry too much. Is there a slight chance I may get infected? Yes…maybe like 1% chance or thereabout. But then, I love Dave so much…the fact that he took his time to explain the situation to me…I found out I could trust him better than Olu.
Olu keeps making excuses that its because I have too much expectation that is why is failing but that he has made it his new year resolution to get another job and be a better lover to me and the best husband to me when I say yes to him. Dave is everything a woman wants in a man. Did I mention he cooks for me, he takes care of me like Olu can never. Dave is business smart, he inspires me to achieve more in my business and career.
Despite my stance on no s3x before marriage, Dave and I had s3x on Christmas day. I did not feel dirty or sad doing it. I felt very happy. Dave and I spent the entire Christmas day in a five star resort, making love and relaxing. The next day, I went back home and Olu was waiting at my apartment, he had managed to pull off a surprise engagement on boxing day with some of our friends. Everyone was saying; say yes…say yes. I was ambushed and afraid…even though I just spent the last 24 hours in another man’s arms. I said no. Everyone was shocked. I became the subject of a scandal.
Olu got up and said to everyone that he knows he is the cause of me saying no….and that he will not give up until I say yes. Everyone left after a while, it was very awkward. After I told Olu that I can’t be his wife cos there is someone else who treats me better. Olu was like, he will not give up. He’s been at my place everyday since the 26th….I try to ask him to leave but he wont. He started being good and nice to me all through. On December 31st, Dave invited me to spend new year eve with him. It was a struggle to leave Olu alone cos he kept begging even on the 31st. I had to lie to him that my auntie wanted me to come to their church for crossover night.
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As the New years was being announced in church, Dave went on his knees and proposed. I scream yes with all my lungs. But few hours later, a small voice asked me, what about that small chance of HIV infection? This year, I will be 29. I want to get married to a man like Dave…he is everything I need in a husband. But there is a chance of HIV for life. What if …just what if? I had to confide in my elder sister about the whole saga.
My sister said that I should count myself lucky to have two men fighting over me….And she said to me; no marriage is perfect. Either you choose Olu, the narcissist but he loves you and makes you laugh, all men have a tendency to be narcissists she said but he has his limitations as well as Dave…who is a perfect man but has HIV that you will live with for the rest of your life.
As it it, the ball is in your court…no marriage is perfect. Guys, I know the ball in my court but I have poured out my heart to you, if you were in my shoes, who will you choose between Olu and Dave? Please advise me.
Anonymous
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The decision of whom to marry should be based on your feelings, values, and compatibility. To me either David or Olu can make a great union in future, but I will advice you prioritize factors such as emotional connection, shared goals, and communication. Because they are great and core qualities that are important to you in a life partner, rather than solely focusing on health or financial status my few cent of advice to you wishing bliss on whichever path you decide.
Happy New Year and thank you for sharing your story with us. Like your sister said , which weakness can you handle ? The 1%chances of HIV with lots of love or the narcissism ? No marriage is naturally perfect. Which one them can you live with?
Dear poster,leave both men alone and search for another.
Peace
A man that knows you have a guy and still goes ahead to be with you is a stupid man, he is so insecure, are you the only woman in the world. This is how people run into nonsense calling it love, then marry and start having issues and will never tell people the whole truth.
You are a very selfish lady, Olu already respected your wish of no sex till marriage, see how you gave yourself to another man and even did it several times, you are a selfish lady.
Tell Olu what you did, stop deceiving him. Go ahead and marry your HIV Dave. It proves you are in LUST, its why I tell men, even the virgin ladies should never be trusted, see how you messed yourself up because you think you are in “love”.
Olu doesn’t deserve you at all, please tell him the whole truth, he deserves better.
Lastly, you will regret marrying Dave, you think you are in love right? You eye go soon clear, just wait for it. How you ladies act so silly baffles me. A virgin that has been bragging about waiting till marriage to have sex just gave it up, and even said she is happy she did, very pathetic loyalty is so scarce.
Tell Olu the whole truth, if you are really who you claim to be.
You are between the devil and the red sea.
Choose the sky and fly, lady.
Please, revisit the marriage inventory and ask for assistance from God. He will give you your own husband.
Dear,
Well done on your decision to remain celibate till marriage, please keep it up.
Don’t feel pressured to marry anyone. It is easier to fall in love with someone you talk to, someone you look up to and someone who pays attention to you.
Check what you feel comfortable with. There are opportunities to start again.
The blessings of the Lord, adds no sorrow with it.
All the best