True Life Story: Pls Advise-Can My Friend Marry Her Late Sister’s Husband?
Dear Lively Stones,
Please people should help me look into this matter. This issue is between my friend and her and her sister’s husband. My friend, Ruth (not real name) is being faced by asking for my advice and so, I decided to ask here. My friend’s younger sister got married to a man that is 60 years old three years ago. This man has grown up children but the wife had died several years ago. The wife died while giving birth to the man’s last child.
When her sister started seeing this 60 year old man, everyone was against it cos her sister was 35 and the man is 60 years but the sister insisted. That age is just a no. They married and next thing, they were unable to get pregnant because of course, the man was old and they started trying IVF for three years and it did not work. The sister was desperate and since the man’s sperm was not ok due to his age, she arranged with the doctor to use a sperm donor without the man’s knowledge.
Ruth’s sister eventually got pregnant, with twins. Unfortunately, the pregnancy was high risk and Ruth’s sister passed on two days after giving birth to the twins. One of the twins did not make it. It was on her death bed that the sister confided in Ruth that she used a sperm donor for the children. Now, Ruth decided not to tell the sister’s husband, cos that will be shameful and the man may reject the children.
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Ruth has been taking care of the surviving child of her sister. The baby is almost one year old. Ruth’s sister’s husband is now asking Ruth to marry him so she can continue to raise her sister’s child instead of him marrying a stranger that can come inside the marriage to maltreat the child. Several women are already trying to get the man (the man is very well to do), but the man says he prefers Ruth cos she reminds him of his late wife.
Ruth is now asking for my advise: either to accept the man’s proposal or say no. The reasons for her confusion is two:
- Though the man is still strong S**ually, at least, that is what Ruth said her sister told her…that the man is still good in bed but the issues is, his sperm count is very very low…..so Ruth knows the man’s sperm cannot give her a baby in future…will she be forced to do the same thing her sister did? which is get a sperm donor?
- Ruth is also superstitious that the sister died because she did not tell the husband of the secret sperm donor…could that be why her sister died?
- If Ruth tries to tell the man the truth, the man may reject her sister’s child…so what should Ruth do….continue to keep the secret?
- Should Ruth accept the man’s proposal and risk all the above or just reject the man’s proposal entirely to avoid her late sister’s secret being leaked?
- There are also rumors. People are asking why the man’s wives always died from child birth…could the man be occultic or a ritualist?
- Ruth is 39 years old and has not been lucky in relationship or marriage
Please advise my friend….what should she do?
Anonymous
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Do not marry that man,Ruth don’t marry the man.
Let the man look for a way to take care of his child by sending you the child’s upkeep or you can keep the child with your family members,please.
Don’t go close to the man,be warned!
when something happens once it is a coincidence, if it happens twice it is a something u can’t overlook it is a signal
Ruth should not marry the man , there is too many red flag about the man
1. his wife are dying during pregnancy
2. he has low sperm count
3. there is too much gap between their years , that means we can’t say how long the man would be active
so Ruth Should ask herself does she love the man or she loves his money , it is true love can get u a wife but love can’t guarantee happiness , what is the surety she might not be happy in that relationship.
if u marry him because of money , u would find out that money can’t buy true happiness , sooner or later u would get tired , or what is marriage without a child , do u intend to make another man make u pregnant , because that might be what u might end up doing
there are so many red flag , the only positive thing I see is that the man has money , but that depends on who u are , are u the opportunistic person or u are looking for true happiness
wait ur set man is still coming, that man is almost twice her age , that means the man is old enough to be her father , so instead of husband u have a sugar daddy , and probably one of his child is ur age , common u deserve more than this .
but like I said u already see the red flag , but if u love money too much I bet u everything being said here would be overlook by u , but like I said it doesn’t guarantee u happiness
God forbid what happens to u if the man dies in few years , or what happens to u if the man can’t perform because of his age , do u then go after small boys or u start using S.e.x toys .
u would end up worst than u are , because u have to look beyond now , the fact u are raising the issue or discussing it with someone already shows u are considering it .
ask urself if this man (60 years old man) was broke would u have married him , definitely No
but money is tempting u , Ruth ♂️ look beyond the money
She should not marry him, but she should also tell him that the child doesnt belong to him. Dont allow a man raise another man’s child, will you like it, if a woman did same to your brother?
Your only stake in the marriage is your Sisters child, the child belongs to your Sister really not the man.
Let him know the truth, if He wants to care for the child , He can send monthly upkeep money. It’s not enough for you to marry a man except you love him and willing to bring up 3 other children besides your Sisters ( it’s not a bad thing to bring up other people’s children) and deal with the other issues you flagged.
At 39 you can carve your own path and marry your own man. Your family can take care of the baby if your Sisters husband does not accept the responsibility, he should know the truth regardless.
I don’t think you should marry him.
All the best