True Life Story: Should l Tell My Wife The Real Reason For Our Childlessness?-Pt2
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I had lost my father the year l sat for my SSCE. Immediately l finished the examinations, l became the head of my Family. As the only son of my father’s four children, l inherited his farms.
The entire Family’s responsibilities became my burden. The cross was too heavy for me to carry, but l was determined to do my best.
Two years after l had been paddling the affairs of my family, things began to change for the better. Though a farmer, l was able to save some amount of money, which l later withdrew from the bank and gave to my mother.
“Mama l want you to start a small business with this little money”, l had told my mother that afternoon, when l returned from the bank.
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My mother collected the parcel from me and opened it. She couldn’t believe her eyes when she caught a glimpse of the money in the parcel.
“Ade, where did you find all this money?” she asked me in surprise.
“Mama, I’ve been saving this money, since l started farming two years ago. When l realized that the money l had been saving wouldn’t be enough for you to start a business, l sold a portion of extra land given to me by ‘Baba’ when he was alive.”
“Had it been you informed me before selling that portion of land, l would have advised you against selling it. Your father wouldn’t be happy in heaven. And…..”
I interrupted her and told her not to worry about the portion of land. I even told her that l had obtained a pre-ND form. She was very happy and promised to bankroll my education, when l eventually secured the admission.
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With nine hundred thousand naira, Mama started selling bangs of rice and beans to retailers. Some months later, l secured an admission to study Accountancy at the Polytechnic, lbadan.
Throughout my ND programme, l was completely married to my studies. I had no time for any trivialities. I completed my Ordinary National Diploma Programme with an upper Credit.
My S.e.xual problems started during my Industrial Training Programme in Lagos. Then, l was working in a private company as an I.T student.
It was a newly established company, trying to make waves and boost their sales. This made the company management employ mostly l.T students. I was the only boy employed among eight girls. This gave me the privilege to move closer to girls, than when l was in school.
By the time l returned for the HND programme, the S.e.xual urge in me had grown almost to an explosion level. I was 26 years old then, and was still a virgin. I had on several occasions heard my friends discuss about S.e.x. I really wanted to experience S.e.x for the first time, but my problem was finding a girl willing to go down with me, so l explained my problem to my friend, Tunde.
I had met Tunde during our l.T programme. Since then, we have been good friends. Tunde asked me which girl l had in mind, and l told him about Sade; a girl l’ve been admiring for a long time, and he decided to help me woo her. I was just sitting beside them in the school pavilion, while they discussed me. I just listened attentively to everything Tunde was telling Sade.
Sade agreed to be my lover and we started off a relationship. Then, another problem set in. I was too shy to control a relationship. I believed this had to do with the fact that l grew up in a village, where we were taught to avoid the opposite S.e.x at all costs.
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Sade was serious about our relationship. She wanted it to lead to marriage. I also wanted it to lead to marriage. But then, l needed more than a relationship. I needed a girl to satisfy my S.e.xual appetite, but Sade wasn’t ready for it, she just wanted a platonic relationship with me.
I couldn’t touch or even discuss S.e.x with her, as she was so engrossed in religious activities.
Sade had two friends; Bisi and Yvonne. Bisi was a complete replica of Sade, but Yvonne was an outright opposite of them. She was a fashion crazy girl. She was always in skimpy and seductive dresses. Anytime she came visiting, she always left me wet within my boxers.
One afternoon she came to my hall to ask after Sade, l told her that Sade wasn’t with me, so she decided to stay for a few minutes. We kept talking, she was wearing a micro mini-skirt and a sleeveless shirt. She sat on the chair, while l lay on the foam. While we were talking, my mind was busy playing on the idea of sleeping with her. She was arousing me every minute.
“Yvonne come and sit beside me”, l summoned the courage to tell her. As if she was under a spell, she stood up and came to sit beside me on the bed.
“What’s it Ade?”, she queried.
“Nothing much, l only want us to get more intimate”, l said.
“Get intimate! do you want me to kiss you?”, she asked smiling.
I was dumbfounded. I had never heard such a question before. I never knew a girl could ask me such a question. I didn’t know what to say, l only managed to nod.
Yvonne bent her head slowly and planted her lips on mine. I found my hand in her bra, stroking her large breasts. I felt a strong desire surge through me, l wanted to sneak my finger under her pant, when she suddenly held my hand and said;
“Ade what’s that?”, she asked me.
“I was only trying to…”,
She couldn’t allow me complete my statement when she interrupted,
“Please stop that, being with you dosen’t turn me to a prostitute, l’m only trying to show you how free the world is.” Looking peevish, she wanted to let go of my grip, but l held her wrist.
“Please, let go off me, l don’t like this o!”, she begged me.
But the S.e.xual urge in me was too much to contain. It was the first time l would have such a strange and wild feeling. I made up my mind to have S.e.x.
I was really determined to have it done, and l did it. I raped Yvonne, she was screaming, but l ignored her. As far as l was concerned, l was swimming in an ocean of fantasy.
Until this present moment, l can’t understand how Sade and Bisi got to know about what l did Yvonne. All l knew was that they jettisoned me and threatened to report me to the school authority, if l should come their way. But that actually wasn’t my problem.
My problem was that three days after the incident, l started feeling a burning sensation in my manhood. A week later, my entire private part started swelling. It got to a stage where l couldn’t even comfortably wear boxers again.
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That took me to the village. I consulted a herbalist, he cured me and l returned to school.
But it never ended there. Two years into my marriage with Aisha, my manhood began to swell again. I returned to the village, and consulted the herbalist again. He gave me some concoction to rub on it and l got cured again.
But there was a price tag. The herbalist told me plainly that l would not be able to impregnate a woman. It never bothered me at all. I felt that Orthodox medicine would have a cure for it. But their diagnosis was even the most disturbing. They called it non-specific testicular failure, whatever that means.
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But how do l tell Aisha that l’m the cause of our childlessness. And won’t she abandon me if she gets to know the truth? If only l hadn’t done that terrible mistake that day…lf only l hadn’t…
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