HomeAdviceTrue Life Story: Something Is Seriously Affecting My Performance In Bed

True Life Story: Something Is Seriously Affecting My Performance In Bed

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True Life Story: Something Is Seriously Affecting My Performance In Bed

Hi Lively Stones,

I have a problem and I need advise, perhaps, someone else has experienced what I am going through before. I would like to know how they solved this problem. I am a 33 year old healthy and hardworking Nigerian man. All my dating years, I have always had this problem and sincerely speaking, I have done everything possible both medically and psychologically.

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The issue is, there is a mystery behind my ability to sustain a hard on when I am in love with any woman. I said I am very healthy and active s3xually. When I meet any lady…for casual s3x, it is something else. Like, I can perform very well with any woman that I have no feelings for. But once there is feelings involved…I cannot last more than 3 minutes of hard on.

I have known this condition for almost seven years now. So because of that, I stayed away from any form of relationship that would make me fall in love. I practically had only friends with benefits kind of relationships. My ex, who was so much in love with me, could not understand my 3 minutes struggle. I passed all medical tests….I have no problem with erection medically….yet I took drugs and many herbal foods and concussions…all failed.

Then, started feeling embarrassed and guilty. So, I would not sleep with any girl that I have feelings for…with a normal girl…I can do several hours at a go….Then I met  Ama…my wife today. When I met her, God knows, I did everything to avoid  falling in love. Ama was just too sweet…she and I became very close friends…just friends for two years. Anytime she tried to push further, I withdrew. So, she noticed and asked me why I am pulling away from her. I explained that I did not want to hurt her feelings.

Eventually, I had to tell Ama my experience…she listened carefully and told me it was a psychological feeling. Ama thought that s3x with someone you love is not same as someone you don’t…she made me realize that she does not care if I am a one minute man as long as we loved each other. My God…this was the first time, I felt free.

Ama and I can make love, caress….foreplay….all kinds of stuff…and I will be ready for action, all heated up…but soon as I penetrate….I come down like someone hit me with an arrow. Ama never complained. Infact…she made me feel good…she did other stuff just to please herself to reach her pleasure point and kissed me and made me feel it was alright.

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ALSO READ: True Life Story: Our Marriage Is Just Six Weeks But I Can No Longer Manage My Husband’s Constant Erection

So, thing went on and we got married early this year. I thought everything was great…we were happy…until one day….after making love with my wife…I slept off quickly as I usually do. But somehow, I woke up suddenly….I noticed my wife was not by me…so I went to check the toilet…and I caught her crying softly….very quietly. Ama tried to clean her eyes and tell me she was not crying but I already saw her.

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That night…I felt so bad…she said she is ok with my situation but I realize that she is not ok with it. I felt so bad….I know she wants a baby too…lasting less than 3 minutes will make it difficult to conceive, although we once agreed to do IVF if things don’t work out fine. I could not sleep throughout the night. I prayed to God to forgive me for any sin I may have committed to have this kind of problem. The next day….soon as I dropped my wife at her office….I drove straight to the hotel…booked a hook up…I just wanted to check if I was still going to be hard with a stranger..

The hook up arrived…with condom…I f*cked this girl for more than 30 mins. I cried when the hook up girl left. What is wrong with me? I have tried everything…my wife has even tried to do role play as a hooker when we have s3x….I have tried to treat her like a whore…so that my mind will think I am with a stranger but it does not work…but when I am with an actual hooker….I get my game on.

Is this a spiritual problem? What can be done about this? My wife does not deserve this,…she is too nice …she deserves a real man and I cannot be that man for her….maybe I should open my marriage…I mean…allow her meet other men…so she can get her satisfaction cos I cannot give her any full sexual satisfaction….she is sad…and now I am sad and I do not know what else to do.

The people I have met for counselling find my condition strange…I tried viagra…it did not work….all kinds of stuff….something is wrong somewhere and I am lost on how to tackle this matter…maybe my mind or a someone is playing with my head but God knows I did not hurt anyone…not even my past girlfriends or lovers…why can’t I enjoy s3x with a woman I love? Please advise me

Anonymous

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Jzhane
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

6 COMMENTS

  1. This is a spritual problem,it is not even ordinary.

    Haba! How can you be a 3minutes man with your lovely wife and a 30minutes man with a hook up babe.

    Something is wrong somewhere,this your situation is strange. Nevertheless,there is nothing God cannot do,you need serious deliverance from spritual wife,yes. I know what I’m saying,and this spritual wife is a wicked woman from the pit of hell.

    The spritual wife is a bastard,you need to pray like a wounded lion,you need to start praying with holy anger,what nonsense? This cannot keep going on in your marriage,a fresh marriage for that matter,your wife does not deserve it,she is just too innocent.

    Please pray,your spirit man has to be at alert,your spritual life has to take a new turn,invite the Holy spirit. Do something please,don’t be quiet,look for a good and genuine deliverance ministry and start firing prayers.

    It is well with you. Let the fire of the Holy ghost destroy that spritual wife frustrating your marriage in Jesus name,amen.

    Don’t be depressed,don’t be frustrated,don’t give the devil any chance to laugh or mock at your situation,this is the time to be firm with your wife in prayers, midnight prayers also works wonders. Peace be unto your beautiful family

  2. ITs actually spiritual, either it’s spiritual wife or your village people have done an incision on you if your from the south or east.

    You have to get Deliverance fast

  3. @Temmy, what steps have you taken in solving this problem or advised ? Your brother is in need of help

    Dear Poster, I am so, so sorry about your condition…..too bad ! There’s one solution I can think for you bro, …..Turn to God.

    Honestly, if you cry to your Creator from the depths of your heart, He will bring solution.

    He is the ONLY SOLUTION

    @Marylyn Obioma has also addressed the issues correctly.

  4. Dear Poster,

    Deliverance is your ticket to freedom and only through a Living Church can you get it.

    I’ll recommend you go to SCOAN. Boost your faith with countless testimonies on their YouTube handle – https://youtube.com/@OfficialEmmanuelTV

    Your marriage is blessed.

  5. Dear Poster and @Temmy,
    “What God cannot do, fix, solve does not exist”. Please as said, these are spiritual things and you need to solve them spiritual.
    Please hook up with NSPPD Prayer time form mondays – fridays (7-9am) on youtube of facebook. Just search and you ll see the Platform.
    I bet you, you ll be delivered by the encounter there. Its online, just a click away. you dont have to go to anywhere physically.

    it will be well.
    PEACE.

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