True Life Story: The Evil Family Secret My Mother Covered Up Is Haunting Me

True Life Story: The Evil Family Secret My Mother Covered Up Is Haunting Me

Hello Lively Stones,

I am very upset at my mother and I think I am about to really disobey her for the first time in my life. I am a 27 year old woman. I am pregnant and getting married but my mother is being the most unreasonable right now. My husband to be is not around, he is in Ghana. We have been in a long distance relationship for almost two years but he comes around like once in three months. But we communicate everyday.

After he came during Easter, I got pregnant. I did not want a child out of wedlock and so got engaged and decided to get married before the pregnancy starts to show. The plan is for me to join him in a few years after marriage. You see, the issue is that me and my mom have hardly spoken to each other for the last seven or almost ten years. Yes, because of my dad’s elder brother.

My dad passed away about twelve years ago, things took a dramatic turn in our lives. Just like that, it went from bad to worse. My dad’s elder brother who was living in the house my father built in the village, asked us to return to the village because we could not continue paying rent for our house in the city. It was a very painful period. None of us wanted to go back to the village but we had no choice.

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When we got back to the village, it was even worse. My mom could barely feed us, we had to depend on my dad’s elder brother who only gave us one room in the story building that my dad built. I was the second child but eldest daughter. I had 3 other siblings with an elder brother. My brother became his apprentice while my mother started selling petty stuff. I was just a teenager , I was enrolled in the only public school in the village.

Anytime I was asked to but anything in school, I had to meet my Uncle and he would be touching me before he will give me the money. He would say: what will you do for big daddy if you want big daddy to give you money…from touching my breast, he made me suck his d*ck too. One day, I saw him f*cking my mother too. Life was hell. We did not have a choice.

When I finished my WAEC, I was at home and my uncle called me to his room and r*ped me. He took away my virginity. I wanted to die. When my mother came back, I told her. She scolded me and warned me never to mention this to anyone else, my uncle will throw us out of his house. She gave me morning after pills to prevent pregnancy. My mom told me that if I tell anyone what my uncle did, no one will marry me. That I must protect our family’s secret to my grave.

So, I have been keeping that secret for all my life since. I cannot even tell my brother because he may kill my Uncle if he finds out. I went to one of our rev sisters and cried to her. It was sis Agatha that advised me to go to seminary school to avoid all these issues with my Uncle. I went to the next city for seminary school for two years but I knew I did not want to be a rev sister. So, I dropped out before the two years ended. Me and my mother only spoke briefly on the phone once in a while. Then I struggled and finally went into fashion business.

That is how I met my fiancé. When my fiancé observed I did not have a good relationship with my mom, he persuaded me to try and make amends with her but its hard. Now, that I am pregnant, fiancé’s family want to come and see my people. But I do not want my Uncle involved. My mom says my uncle is the one representing my dad and if I refuse to honor him, she too cannot attend my wedding or give her blessing because if she does, my Uncle will be upset with her.

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Immediately, I told my mom that cannot happen. I do not blame my mother because the fear of tradition has held her down. But this man who took advantage of his oww blood brother’s wife and children, and he is not fit to represent my father at my wedding. I told my husband that he should not worry about my people but his own people are insisting. That if they do not see my people, the marriage will not be a blessed one. They believe a lot in tradition. I do not get why our people believe so much in tradition.

My fiancé is saying that he must follow his parents wishes. That is annoying me too. Does that mean he cannot have a mind of his own? He thinks its just anger that is making me act this way. I would have told my fiancé the reason why I do not want this but my mom made me swear not to tell anyone because it will bring shame to our family. I feel for my mom in all of these too. She is begging me to honor tradition and leave my Uncle to God to deal with him…how do I manage that?

Now, because of this, my fiancé’s family have paused on the wedding introduction which was supposed to be last weekend until I give them a date to come meet my people. How do I go about all of this, how do I face my uncle who took my virginity and abused me for years. This is not fair., what about my pain?

Anonymous.

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