HomeAdviceTrue Life Story: This Relationship Is Always Giving Me Anxiety-Pls Advise

True Life Story: This Relationship Is Always Giving Me Anxiety-Pls Advise

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True Life Story: This Relationship Is Always Giving Me Anxiety-Pls Advise

Hello Lively Stones,

Please help or advice me. I am having trust issues in my relationship. He thinks I am insecure but he is the one that is acting suspiciously. I met my boyfriend 7 months ago in a very awkward manner. I had hailed an uber and he pulled up to pick me up. Very handsome and dashing young man. I could not help but ask him a few information about himself.

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This guy is a graduate, actually a former banker, he was laid off and he was doing Uber because he had not gotten anything else better to do. He also wants to be a model. He is fine as f*ck. So, he does some small modelling jobs but praying to get a big break one day.

We exchanged numbers and I began to use him regularly for my uber rides. I started noticing he was getting very friendly and flirty with me. He would glance at me in a very seductive way as he drove me round town. when we chatted, he would drop subtle hints with his emojis,etc. Me, I am a straight shooter, I asked him if he had a girlfriend or wife or fiancée…he said no.

Then I told him I find him very attractive, he said he too likes me. I invited him to my place after his shift one evening and it did not take more than 3 minutes, we were f*cking like rabbits. I have never done this kind of thing before. Like, I have met guys but never ever did I imagine I would hook up with an uber driver. This continued for almost everyday.

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I fell hopelessly in love. I started to look for job for him. I wanted him to stop the uber job cos I did not want him to meet other females. I was filled with suspicions of his every move. If I called and he did not pick…maybe in the night…later, he would say he was working, dropping off a passenger. I was filled with so much suspicion cos my mind started playing me, that surely other females must find him attractive and may want him too.

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So, eventually, I was able to get him an office job as Operations Officer…do you know he refused? I was mad at him…he said he does not want office job because he enjoys his independence. That he cannot be waking up early to go to work and work till late. This job would earn him like 250k. He said he makes about the same and slightly more in a month as uber driver.

I am so frustrated. He knows how insecure I am and that is already irritating him but I cannot help myself. I cannot control myself. He started giving me the silent treatment. He didn’t call me or respond to my call for 3 days. I almost died of suspense. I love this guy die. He said we can only become lovers again if only I respect his decision to continue his uber business and I stop stalking or nagging him about his whereabouts.

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To be candid…I have tried. I have tried to forget him…I have tried to ignore him but I cannot. I am beginning to have a mental breakdown. This love I have for him is insane. He said its because we met that way,so I think he sleeps with passengers. That if I do not trust him, then there is no need of being together. Now, he thinks I am being a b*tch or being a controlling girlfriend.

Sometimes, I wonder whether he did something to me cos I have NEVER fussed over a guy in my entire life. I am my own person. Always confident and smart. Now, I behave like a mumu when it comes to this guy. Its not just about the s3x (yes, the s3x is gorgeous ) but he is a very nice man. He cooks for me. He takes care of me…I feel like crying as I write this…I need help and prayers and advice.

This weekend was such a turmoil. I planned a get away with him. I told him a week before. To clear his schedules cos I wanted an alone time with him. I even offered to pay any money he could have made in uber for the weekend. He even shopped so we can cook everything we needed. We stocked up the fridge.

We were having a very intimate weekend when his phone rang and he said he had to go. That its a VIP client. That she just came into the country and called for his uber services. I was crazy. That fueled my suspicion more. Why couldn’t he tell her that he was not available. I know these Abuja women…some are politicians looking for young men to keep them always f*cked.

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VIP client my foot. He said his VIP clients pay as much as 50 to 100k or even 300k depending on the appointments he takes with them. Abi this boy dey whine me? How is he not sleeping with such clients? As fine as he is…as f*cking s3xy as he is. My brain dey burst. I cried all through when he left. He did not come back until the next morning. He tried to make it up to me by making love to me but I was so upset and jealous.

This is no longer healthy for me. I may have an emotional breakdown. How do I make him drop this job and focus on me…or how do I break up with him without loosing my mind. This is a very classic example of I have lost my senses which is why I need help. Kindly advise me. I do not know what else to do.

Do you think I am being paranoid …is my boyfriend not acting suspicious? He said I am insecure …how do I stop being insecure when he moves like this…in a very suspicious way. He even asked me not to look for a job for him anymore cos he likes his job cos it gives him independence….is this not independence to be a pimp? I am over thinking I know but I tried to break up with him….but I cannot …I love him and I want him to love me back the same way.

How do I make him love me back and drop this his crazy career…is Uber a career sef? I thought about f*cking someone else and make him jealous or even make me forget about him…I actually tried to but I doubt this will change anything.  I was afraid it would make him dump me faster. I keep trying to break up but I end up going back to him…and this makes me so upset with myself in the end.

What can I do please. This relationship is giving me serious anxiety. I need urgent help.

Anonymous

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Jzhane
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

4 COMMENTS

  1. Hello dear, just calm down and relax, don’t loose your mind over a man, learn to take things one step at a time, I understand u fell hopelessly in love with him but try as much as possible to take things slowly, when you take things slowly you are able to think straight and maybe then you will find an answer to whatever suspicion you have if him, also don’t be clingy…I feel your guy’s beauty has gotten into his head and feels he can get any girl he wants, truth be told his moves are really suspicious but watch him closely till you find a clue, don’t conclude…peace and light dear…

  2. Nne you need serious counseling together with prayers. He is okay with his job, please let him be.
    You are just stressing yourself and also stressing the guy,please be calming down kwanu.

    If you give yourself emotional break down,na only you go suffer oooo,please just be friends with him, nothing attached biko,like a platonic friend so that you can stop having any feelings that will put your health in danger or make you go insane.

    Some women self,after una don fuck like rabbits before marriage,wetin remain again? Worst is that the guy is not really disturbing himself about you just like the way you do about him,he is living his normal life,as in his normal life he was living before you guys met.

    Nne, zukwanike,Jiri ya wayo,be calming down for Jesus,it is well with your soul

  3. The problem is from the beginning, you didn’t get to know him or his personality…but you went bang bang bang. You just have to get a hold of yourself, distract yourself, get busy, travel do everything possible to leave this guy before you have a mental breakdown.
    Stop stalking that guy, you just look desperate and unsecured.
    So what if he is dating other women, or having sugar mummies, are you going to stop living because of Him?
    He is making his own choices, it is you that needs to choose right

  4. First, i will advise you to STOP FORNICATING. You are not in love but lust, I need you to stop fornicating, you are destroying yourself sister.

    I suggest you forget about him, but are you ready to do it, to me, he is just like you, I mean he probably is sexing other women.

    Please let him go, happiness is from you not from anyone or anything. You had an emotional rage when you met him which you didn’t control, i too have such towards women but I’m a man that can control himself.

    To make it worse, you had sex with him and have had sex with him so many times, so you have really gone far, i bet you, even if you forget him, you will never forget the sex episodes you had with him.

    Stop fornicating and forget him. You will be fine sister, you surely will be fine.

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