True Life Story: This Relationship Was A Huge Mistake From The Start -Please Advise
My friend married at the age of 20 (our first year in uni) and divorced her husband two years later. I was her chief bridesmaid. Their marriage was a very rocky one. She liked the idea of marrying a rich guy but she was not ready to be tied down as a wife. They both cheated on each other and eventually realized that they were not going to have a successful marriage. They divorced in our final year in school.
During the time of the trouble in their marriage, her husband tried several times to toast me and I actually told my friend. I did not know certain details of the marriage until they finally divorced. I did not know my friend too cheated on him. Now that they are finally divorced, this man has been trying to woo me for almost one year.
My friend has moved on. She has a new man now and her ex is still toasting me, I tell my friend when we chat and we laugh about it. And then, I had a serious financial situation. My car was stolen and I was in dire need of a car. Car in Lagos is not a luxury, trust me. Jumping bus and flying uber was taking all my money.
One of the times, my friend’s ex was disturbing me as usual, I mentioned to him that my car was stolen and he sent me a car to be using the very next day. I did not really want to but I had no choice. The car softened my heart towards him I guess because, that is how my relationship with him began. Big mistake.
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Surprisingly, I found this man easy to talk to, to like…he made me laugh alot and I was ashamed to say I found myself falling in love with him. He was still messing with a few women, lying about it but I really didn’t think I would find myself so attached to him. I became worried that I was loosing my senses so I tried to break up with him twice but we ended up making up again and again.
Towards end of 2021, I discovered I was pregnant for him . He was happy and said he was going to marry me. We started making plans immediately. First was for us to go see my parents in December. And do our wedding in January. When it was a few day to travel to see my parents, I could not reach him on phone for 4 days.
After I was able to reach him, he said he cannot go with me anymore to see my parents. This man said that his sister got a prophesy that I was the one that was the cause of his marriage to my friend breaking up. That I made juju or jazz to steal him away from my friend.
The story was that, I deliberately ended my friend’s marriage so I could takeover. I was confused because that was not the case, I never snatched any body’s husband…I rejected all his advances when he was with my friend, so I told him to stop looking for excuse to misbehave.
A few days later, I found out that the reason he was acting the way he was acting was because he just found out he got someone pregnant. I was completely unprepared for this even though I know the kind of man he was. After crying and all, I sent him a text not to worry about me, that I would abort the baby and move on, he can stay with his new baby mama.
It was after then he apologized and said he is confused and he panicked when he heard the other woman was pregnant for him. That he still wants to marry me but he needs time to figure out a few things. He begged me not to abort but I I do not know if he giving him time will change anything. Who knows what he is telling the other woman that is pregnant too? Is he just using me?
Of course, like I said… I know the type of man he said he is…but I still let my feelings rule my thinking and I have paid for it dearly. If there is one thing I cannot do is have a baby without marriage. My mother would freak out cos that is exactly what happened to my elder sister 8 years ago and today both of them are not in good terms. I am 25 years old and I still have a long way to go than having a child that will be my regret for ever.
I should have known better, but I still was foolish…but now, even though its not ok to have an abortion, I feel, that maybe the only way to free me from being tied to this man and be reminded of my foolishness for the rest of my life. I cannot even raise this child by myself. I am asthmatic. I will need help raising any child.
I need your advice and prayers because I do not see any other option for me. I am very unhappy, several suicidal thoughts have crossed my mind but instead of suicide, I rather cut off any ties to this mistake.
Anonymous
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DO NOT COMMIT SUICIDE, DO NOT COMMIT SUICIDE, DO NOT COMMIT SUICIDE.
She knew the kind of man he is but still went ahead to date him, how can you date your friend’s ex husband…who does that, you have been fornicating and you need to stop it, stop it.
Deliver the baby, you just have to, like you know abortion is evil and murder.
Don’t marry that guy, do not marry him, when you deliver, have a way of meeting him in public not in his house or hotel but in a public place so you don’t sleep with him again..
I wish you well sister.
Peace