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True Life Story: This Secret Could Scatter My Wedding Or My Life-Pls Advise

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True Life Story: This Secret Could Scatter My Wedding Or My Life-Pls Advise

Hi Lively Stones,

Three years ago, I was in school, my final year. I had a close friend who’s mother was ill with kidney problem. So, she had to move out of the hostel to stay with her mother to care for her since she is the only girl out of four children. It was hard for her to also combine her courses in school, so I used to help her copy her notes, do her assignment and during exam time, I used to go to her house to read with her so she can catch up.

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Her family became like mine. The boys were working and some schooling so while I assisted my friend with her studies, she assisted her mom who also had a nurse that comes to see her few times in a week. As things got worse, with their mother’s health, things got really tough for the family as they watched their mother gradually slip away.

One day, my friend asked me to help her take food to her dad’s office …. that the father was not eating properly and its slowly beginning to affect his health. I agreed and took the food to her father. When I got to the father’s office, he is a Barrister. The office was empty. I think he was not able to handle cases because of his wife’s state of health. I met only the security man who told me oga is in his office.

When I got inside, I kept calling him….daddy where are you, etc….eventually…he answered and said, who is that…I answered is chichi…he asked me to come in. When I got in, he seemed very happy to see me. I told him I brought food for him cos his daughter was worried he has not eaten. He asked me to dish the food which I did. He asked me to wait and eat with him. I told him no cos the food wont be enough for both of us. He was very happy and asked me to always come around to visit him in the office cos I made him happy .

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To me, I just wanted him to be happy same way I wanted my friend to be happy. They were all going through this situation very hard. So, the next time my friend asked me to take food to her dad, I gladly went. This time the secretary was there but soon as I came, he sent her on an errand and asked me to come into his office. He ate his food. We were gisting as he was eating.

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After eating, he asked me to share his meat at least, if I will not eat with him…he asked me to come and take the meat from his plate, I got up and went to take the meat…as I did…he pulled me close and I was shocked…he was pleading with me…that he has not had s3x since his wife fell ill for over 2 years. That he has fallen in love with me cos I made him happy.

Truthfully, I was confused but he said I am like an angel God sent to comfort his family and he really needs my comfort too…that he is tired of acting so strong…that he needs someone to hug him and show him love. That made me feel like I needed to be there for him. So, I allowed him…he kissed me and began to squeeze my breasts…he made love to me.

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After that, he was so happy and asked me to forgive him, that it will never happen again. He asked me if I was on any contraceptive, I said no, so he gave me money to buy postinor. After that day, I started to avoid him. He noticed and kept sending me texts to forgive him, that he was very weak that day. I said ok…no problem but I will not let it happen again cos that is like betraying my friend and his sick wife. He agreed.

After like eight months later, his wife died. My friend and her family were broken. I tried to be there for my friend and after that, we graduated from university. I was posted to Delta state for my NYSC. My friend was posted to Abuja. She later sent me a message to come for her dad’s 55th birthday. That they wanted to celebrate him since their mother was ill and died, they have not celebrated his birthday. I kept telling her no I cant but she said if I don’t come, she wont be happy. So I agreed to come.

When I arrived for the birthday a day before, her dad’s eyes were all over me. I tried to ignore him but when no one was looking, he would grab me and say please …I need to talk to you privately…I cannot get you out of my mind. I said no way…he kept begging that I should give him a chance to explain…so I told him ok but not in the house. He agreed that we meet a day after his birthday in a restaurant.

At the restaurant, we had some nice food and later, he started telling me that its been a year since his wife died….and he has not gotten over me. That now, he is a free man, he wants to marry me cos he is in love with me. I told him his daughter will not like it cos we are friends…he said…he can convince her but that if we date for like one more year, so it will not look like we started seeing each other too soon.

To me, that seemed ok. We made love in a hotel that night. Uncle Fred, as I called him before, never seemed like a 55 year old man in the bed. He was like a horse and he treated me very nicely. We started seeing each other, he would travel to come see me in my post. he started helping look for a job. I grew to love him too. All was going to plan until Henry spoiled everything.

Henry is Fred’s 3rd son. My friend’s immediate elder brother. He is a lawyer too like his dad, he was working in Lagos. He called me and asked me if I was in a relationship. Of course, I had to lie and say no. He then told me he wants to date me. I told him I am not ready for a relationship now but that did not put him off. Every week, he would call or text. I had to tell his dad…his dad was upset and said he would speak to him.

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I was not ready for him to reveal our relationship but he insisted. He said he did not want his son to push any further since he is in love with me. So, against my wish, first he told my friend Ngozi and then he told Henry. Ngozi was in shock…Henry took it very hard. Ngozi refused and Henry also refused. They both called me at different times to confirm if I was in a relationship with their father. I said yes.

Both of them cursed me out completely. That I must have seduced their father when I was staying with them, pretending to be caring for them when their mother was sick. That their father is old enough to be my dad…They have told their other siblings and everyone is against me. Yet, Fred has told them to get used to the idea that he will be marrying me by December this year. Fred has come to see my family last month, my parents agreed because they asked me if I loved him, I said yes. My parents will accept anyone I bring as my choice.

My friend has finally accepted me as her father’s choice but her brother Henry has refused. I finished my NYSC and Fred invited me to meet his children so we can all settle. Surprisingly, Henry came. We had a family meeting and everyone agreed that they wanted what is best for their father and if by marrying me, their father will be happy…they will accept me.

Early the next morning, most of them left and went back to their stations. Fred too went to work, I was going to rest one more day before I travelled to my family home in the next town. I thought I was alone in the house, around 10am, I was still in bed, with my phone, Henry came inside the room…locked the door behind me and before I could scream…he began to pin me down and rip off my clothes.

When I realized what he wanted to do, I tried to fight him off but he was so strong and violent…he kept telling me to give myself to him…that he will has better to offer than his dad…that people will say bad things about me if I marry a man old enough to be my father when the man’s son is in love with me…he began to r*pe me…I was crying and he kept asking me not to cry….to relax and enjoy it…he promised to love me forever if I stop crying.

After a while, he was done…he started crying….asking me why did I choose his dad over him…that he is heart broken and that I pushed him to force himself on me. That he was filled with so much rage …he even thought of killing his father last night. Then he thought, if he cannot have me,….neither can my dad. He then said, he will tell his dad that I am a slut that we had s3x when he was not around.

That was when I realized the whole set up…it looked like he wanted to frame me…so I told him he would not succeed cos his father would believe me when I tell him he r*ped me. Henry then said, you cannot marry my father …if you do….you will remain my sworn enemy. I am crazy about you, I cannot bear to see you with my dad…

My crying continued and then he knelt down and apologized and told me not to mention this to his father. That he too will not mention it, that it should be a secret between us. He said he did not know what entered him. He said if I told his father, then I would destroy the relationship between him and his father and the family will not forgive me. After that, he left.

When Fred came, I had to pretend I was sick so he would not notice. I left the next day and never told a soul about what happened to me two months ago. Now, we have had to move the wedding forward because I got pregnant. Fred is over the moon. Our wedding is next month. But I am battling with fear and confusion in my heart. The pregnancy is two months old. What if its for Henry? And if its for Henry…what if he finds out?

Even so, what if  the pregnancy is not for Fred and he find out? I cant wait to do a secret DNA test after the baby is born but my conscience is telling me to tell Fred what happened that Henry r*ped me before we get married. So many scenarios playing in my head…what if this secret scatters the wedding and both son and father hate me or hate each other?

My weakness is I have always put everyone’s feelings before mine. That is why I cared for Fred and fell in love with him…that is why I did not report his son when he r*ped me….but right now…what if this all blows up one day….what will happen? My conscience is telling me to tell Fred before the wedding….do you think that is a good or bad idea? I am so scared right now. What should I do?

Anonymous

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Jzhane
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

9 COMMENTS

  1. Madam, you haven’t said the real truth of this matter .
    You and Henry dated and you felt his dad was better right? I see no reason why someone you don’t have any interest in,a person you hardly speak to ,will just rape you just ike that,and this person knows you will be getting married to his father,you must have dated Henry for sometime before deciding to marry his father and that triggered his emotion to rape you as a way of getting back to you.

    Have you considered what you are about entering? You love money,you love material things,you don’t want to grow with a younger man,you want already made man with older children,you want a man who is older than your father,huh.

    Have you asked yourself what you really want from this marriage? Well,I know you are not desperate,you are only there for the money cos you just finished nysc,so why the rush? You haven’t even started working,and you claimed he has promised getting you a job.

    Now,you will have to tell your’ uncle Fred’ about what Henry his son did to you,it is better for the marriage to scatter now than in future,tell him now,he has to know.

    You are not a transparent person,you only told us what we feel we need to know,it is better you say the whole truth so that we can advice accordingly. Henry was once your boyfriend before you shifted attention to his father,just be careful with that family.
    It is well with you

    • This comment is insensitive I must confess. do not know the poster from anywhere yet you have judge her completely and in a wrong manner.
      Sometimes if you don’t have words of advice, pls don’t comment rather than negatively judge the person.

      Someone can’t just post her story on this platform and you tell the person he/she is lying, haba na. It’s not nice.

      For me, there is no lie in what she is saying.
      Also, dating the old man for her must not be about money, probably the son is also doing well too for himself but she has come to love and care for the old man. The son Henry approached her late and she couldn’t betray Uncle Fred’s trust and love.

      My worry here is that she should have told Mr. Fred what his son did to her. Keeping such secret would make the son Henry come back for more thereby blackmailing her.

      Finally, in your judgment about her, you are absolutely wrong.

      My opinion.

      • I am glad you pointed Marylyn’s judgmental response. I don’t think she took the time to read her post prior to posting, it’s so disgusting how people judge others without empathy.@ Marylyn, you need to work on your self. You have a lot of self growth you need to focus on, especially portraying yourself in public.
        Lively stone really needs to review comments prior to posting. Your blog can either make or mare your posters with readers comments . How many comments do you even have that you can’t proof read prior to posting? If posters can’t not get a genuine advice from readers, then the purpose of the blog is irrelevant, except these are not true life stories.

        At poster, the LORD is your strength. Please inform the dad prior to getting married to him otherwise you stand the risk of being blackmailed in future.

  2. Dear poster, I understand you were trying to be there for your friend and her family, the truth is, you did wrong by falling in love and having sex with your friends dad, I understand it’s not entirely your fault…like you said, you put people’s feelings first before yours and you are emotional that’s why you fell flat…truth be your friend and her siblings may never accept you because trust is broken, they are just pretending to accept you…..I will advice you open up to Mr Fred, tell him what his son did……we can’t entirely fault you cos you are matured to know what you want, also you can’t tell the heart who to love…I pray your friend and her siblings accepts you genuinely. Relax your mind dear, you will be fine dear,peace dear….

  3. Most of the times the way we advice can easily put people away,like they might even want to regret coming to seek for advice in the first place, that’s y some people would rather keep things to themselves rather tell anyone for fear of being judged,some people are too judgemental bikonu. haha

  4. Very dicey, but I think you should tell Mr. Fred because Henry will keep coming after you and blackmailing you. Free yourself of this burden and tell Mr.Fred

  5. Dear Poster,

    You have made a mistake. And it appears, you are still making more mistakes. When will you stop making these mistakes?

    1. Mistake no 1 was to sleep with a married man whom you came to help his family during the time of their sick mother/wife. A man who cheated on a sick wife…has no regard for marriage and will do the same to you if something happens to you in the marriage.

    2. Mistake no 2: Was to agree to marry him ,yet kept it a secret. No one should convince you to keep your relationship a secret except they know the relationship is wrong

    3. Mistake no 3: You kept quiet when Henry raped you? Why? You should have never been afraid to keep quiet. He violated you. He should be prosecuted for that. Except you are lying about the rape.

    Poster, I also suspect you have low self esteem….always allowing people to ride all over you.

    You need to take back the power over your life. This family is dysfunctional and you should leave them alone if you do not want to live a dysfunctional life.

    Write Fred a letter and explain why you cannot marry him. Tell him all that has happened. Also explain to your friend and after that….shut them out of your life forever. Let them only have access to the child when its born…but never let them manipulate you anymore.

    Have your baby but do not marry or have sex with either father or son anymore. You need a fresh start. Stop putting other peoples’ need above yours. You are hurting and you need to heal. You deserve to put yourself first. You matter. You are worthy and you do not need to allow any more abuse or mistakes in your life anymore.

    Find you a life coach…set some standards and goals for your life. Work hard and raise your kid to have high moral standards.

    Never lower yourself to please anyone again. You need a fresh start. You owe yourself that….so go far away from these people and start afresh.

    You will find someone more worthy of you when you start thinking you are worthy of pure love from someone who is not going to manipulate you.

    Wishing you all the best.

    Jzhane

  6. You are dealing with lawyers you need to be smart here. Try to rope henry into admitting to rape you and get it recorded on tape. If you kept the torn clothes like you said he tore, evidence number 2 to make you case stronger.

    If you can get a solid evidence of rape, show them to fred and justify while it took so long for you to tell him. If you can do this succinctly, you are saved.

    it would definitely blow up in your face one day, if you dont act now.

    It is imperative you get henry to admit to rape on record or video, henry is a lawyer and might catch your scope… So you need to be very smart at it.

    Do this and with fred backing, you might be saved. But you should know you gotta watch all back at all times as you are surrounding by people who dont want you in their family and could go to extra length to make you regret being with their father.

    You lose in any way, you suffer a long term suffering.. let me tell you, desperation can get them to harm their dad and pin it on you. Herny wouldnt wanna go down without a fight. Stay woke.

  7. […] ALSO READ: True Life Story: This Secret Could Scatter My Wedding Or My Life-Pls Advise […]

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