True Life Story: Was I Wrong For Advising My Cousin To Leave Her Marriage?
Dear Lively Stones,
Please help me. My Auntie called me today from the village crying that her daughter is in trouble. So, I advised her, after advising her, my Auntie got angry with me and started calling me wicked and jealous. Please help me judge this story and tell me where I went wrong.. I am older than this daughter of hers. The young girl is 23 years old, she got married last year. This Aunty of mine is a very religious woman. She never allowed any of her children to be exposed. Infact, when we were growing up, she never allowed her children visit us because she called us wayward because the way we dressed.
Her family was righteous while ours was not. It was just a few years back that she began to relate well with us, maybe because of financial help that they require from us now and again. Last year, her first daughter got married to someone highly recommended from their church or so. The man is 36 years old. The age gap is much but they said the man refused to marry because he said he must marry a virgin and most girls these days are no longer virgins.
So, my cousin married him as a virgin. For several months after the wedding, my auntie started fasting and praying for the daughter to get pregnant cos she believed that since no man has slept with her before, the first man to sleep with her must get her pregnant. After like seven months of no pregnancy, my Auntie started firing fire fire prayers. The she began to involve the daughter in seven days fasting and prayers so that her enemies will not shame her.
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When my mom told me this story, I told her to tell Auntie to relax. That they should go for medical check up. That its not a big deal that pregnancy has not occurred in under the first year of marriage. So, after alot of persuasion, the girl went with her mother to see a doctor. When they asked her to open up for examination, the doctor was shocked at the stench that was coming out from the girl. After much questioning, they found out that her anus was bringing out some kind of puss.
That was when they began to ask her why she was having such smell and fluid from her anus. This girl mentioned that its after she married it started. That its from her anus that her husband makes love to her. Everywhere scattered. It was shocking and embarrassing. No wonder the girl could not get pregnant. The husband was f*cking her from her anus and not vagina.
They went back and called the husband to question him and he said its nobody’s business how he chooses to have intercourse with his wife . That its his God given right to have s3x in marriage how ever he pleases. The mother reported the matter to the church and the man was given warning or he will be suspended from the church. That was how the man started vaginal s3x with the girl and she got pregnant the following month which was in September last year.
When she gave birth in June this year, this girl released that her husband is no longer touching her. She thought it was because she just gave birth but became worried after the end of July that the man still did not have s3x with her. That was when the man told her that he will not touch her unless she allows him f*ck her both on her anus and vagina.
My Auntie went to visit the daughter last week and noticed the girl was smelling again. And this time, she was walking like she was limping. The woman kept asking her what was the issue but she refused to talk. So she cried to my mom, it was my mom who called this girl and promised not to tell her mom if she confess ….this girl confessed that the husband has started anal s3x again. But that its not all the time…that he does vaginal s3x but also like anal s3x.
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This time, when my auntie confronted the husband, he told her to leave his house and never come back except she wants to take her daughter and end the marriage. That its not anyone’s business to tell him how to have s3x with his wife. My auntie wants us to advise her. Should she take her daughter away from the man? As a religious woman, their church is against divorce instead they have declared 21 days of fasting and praying for the man, for God to deliver him from the spirit of sodomy.
My mother and Auntie asked all of us to join in the fasting and prayers but me I refused o. My own advise to her was: the man is bisexual and no amount of prayers can change him. That they are wasting time trying to conduct deliverance. I told my aunty to advise the girl to leave the marriage or continue to bear the situation cos the man will not change.
My Auntie got angry and called me wicked and jealous. That its people like me that did not marry as virgins that are not happy for her daughter. That is why all these things are happening. Please what did I say or do wrong? Did I not speak the truth? How is deliverance going to change a man who is 37 years old from his s3xuality? is that not why he did not marry all this time?
Looking for a virgin to marry my foot…please if you think I am wrong in my advise, please help me advise my Auntie. I will share the responses from here with her. God bless.
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My sister you are very right,there are some prayers that God will never answer,e.g,this one.
Tell her to run,her life, destiny and future is at risk,the man does not mean well for her,let her run with her innocent child.
I will not starve all in the name of fasting about what I can easily handle within hours, odikwa egwu,nde religious mothers and christian mothers,nde holier than thou,and your daughter is suffering.
Shey the girl no get papa ni?
It is well
I love you already. You said nothing but the truth. What type of jealousy is that!? That your aunty and her daughter is in for a long thing if she doesn’t leave without minding what people would say!
Am a son of a pastor. But I don’t why some Africans are blind and religious to a fault. The reason for divorce from the man. And they are fasting. Fasting for what again for God to do what. Let them know that it’s for a dried fish to bend. It takes God only. This is an evil character that has been built already into the man.
Divorce and let every man go his/her way. Let them continue to fast na