True Life Story: Why Has My Enemies Refused To Allow Me Enjoy My Marriage?
Hello Lively Stones,
I want to remain anonymous please. I am tired of life. I feel like God has forsaken me and I do not know what else to do. I got married after many years of being single. All my junior ones got married before me. I was a mockery of the town. My mother said it was enemies who did not want to see her happy or me married. Until I was 36 years old, I got married to a divorcee who has one child from previous marriage. When we met, he was good and everything was fine. The problem started when I got pregnant for my second child. It was a difficult pregnancy with high blood pressure. I was put to bed rest and I had to quit my job as a clerk.
So since then, we have been depending on my husband’s salary where he is an officer too in his company. His salary is not enough but we have been managing it until my husband suddenly started hanging out with some bad friends who introduced him to womanizing and drinking, so most of his money now goes into alcohol and women. And since then, is fight everyday.
When my second baby became 8 months, I took up a job as a sales girl and I was able to manage until the supermarket sacked some of us because they started facing some financial difficulties. I stayed at home, until I started going from house to house to collect clothes to wash and they pay me like 2k or 3k every week. This is just to tell you that I am not a lazy person.
Despite all these, my husband still kept his bad habits and this even escalated to him beating me sometimes when he has taken alcohol. Several times he would even bring women home to sleep with them. I and my children will be outside when he is having S** with the women. My family has asked me to leave him and return back to the village. But I am someone who did not marry on time. I am 39 years old….with children….how will I go and start afresh if I leave this man.
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Last year, he beat me so much that I had to go home. This made my mother develop BP and since then, she has been sick, almost one year now. My husband came to beg us and we returned back last year October. I have been managing everything since then. Until last December. My husband went off the wagon again. He beat me one night and threw me and my children outside by 1am. He told me to leave his home.
That night, I cried and cried. No where to go to. So, I went to the security people at one estate close to us. They allowed me sleep in their security space that night. Mosquitoes almost finished us. The next day, I wanted to start going back to the village but one of the security men asked me if I can stay with him in his one room. His family is in the village. I called my younger brother and he said I should stay there until he can send me money to come back home.
I stayed with this man for a month. After the first week, this man started asking me for S** and I had no choice put to agree. At the end of December, my brother sent money and I returned home to my people in the village. Few days ago, I just discovered that I am pregnant. I am very sure its for that security man that helped me. I told my auntie and she has been giving me medicine to abort the pregnancy.
All the medicines have not worked. The pregnancy is still intact. I then went to the clinic to do a D&C. They booked me for the D&C next day but I came, the doctor said that he had tested me and if I insist, that the D&C may go wrong since I have been using drugs and it didnt go wrong. He suspects that there may be complication and I may not survive.
That scared me and my aunty. My aunty said I should keep the pregnancy and trust God to help me. Two days ago, my husband and his family came to beg me to return back home. My husband said he has stopped drinking and womanizing. He also got a new job, a better one and he wants his family back. My question now is…how do I go back to my marriage when I am pregnant for another man?
If my husband finds out,….he will divorce me….he wont forgive me. And I cannot abort the child cos of the fear by the doctor. My aunty said I should pin the pregnancy on my husband after all, I got pregnant as his wife. I am afraid and don’t know what to do. I feel God has abandoned me. Why am I going through all this suffering. From one problem to another. Why wont these enemies let me enjoy my marriage? Now, things are better for my husband yet I am pregnant for a stranger?
I don’t know what to do…please advice me. I am tired of crying.
Anonymous
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Madam,God has not forsaken you,okay.
The same people who mocked you for not getting married on time are the same people laughing at you right now. Always be yourself and wait for God’s time,36 years is not even old enough,I thought I would have seen 40 or even 45 years,why put unnecessary pressure on yourself all because of marriage?Just look at the mess you are into already.
You will not pin that pregnancy on your husband,you made a mistake by allowing the security into your federal government without using protection,that was the biggest mistake you made,if he had infected you with a deadly disease,I’m sure you won’t have the courage to send this story.
Tell your husband about the pregnancy,you cannot pin the security man’s pregnancy on your husband,never. Do not listen to your aunt because she won’t be there when the bigger problem comes knocking on your door.
That child is a great child,he has refused to be aborted,even with all the drugs wey your aunt give you,so keep it and let the will of God be done in his life.
Marriage is not for the weak,don’t rush in because of pressure or age,e get why. May your marriage be restored in Jesus name,amen.
Peace
Dear poster, I understand it is not easy. God have not abandoned you. Do not pin your pregnancy on your husband. Tell him the truth because the truth would always find a way to come out we like it or not. How come you were not going to people’s houses to offer them your service of washing clothes while you were in the security man’s house? It would have helped you to save money to go back to the village. My thought.What will be will be. Tell him the night he threw you and the kids out someone offered to help you but gave you the condition he must sleep with you. You didn’t have a choice because you had no one else in the city of which your husband knows. You just found out you’re pregnant for the person. He will definitely ask where the person stays.Tell him you can’t remember because it was night. Your husband have a choice of either accepting you back or not. Believe in God, all will be well. and if he doesn’t accept you back, please buckle your shoe so you can hustle for your kids. Try not to think please. I understand it’s very tough right now but you need to be strong and alive for the sake of your kids and unborn child. What God cannot do does not exist.
Dont pin the pregnancy on your husband, tell his family about it, then they will tell him. You need a safe place and care, you need to take it easy. You will be fine, why cant some men help without asking for help, todays men need to change.
I wish you well sister. GOD is alive.