True Life Story: Why I Lied To My Best Friend About His Wife
Dear Lively Stones,
I decided to search for a therapist to talk to because I have been keeping a secret that has been eating me up for a while now. I found Lively Stones as the foremost relationship blog in Nigeria and Jzhane is encouraging me to share my story, maybe it will help someone out there, maybe someone out there has been in my shoes and they can share how they are coping or maybe talking about this awful secret of mine can help me find peace in my heart and in my marriage.
So, this is my story: my best friend, Dave and I met in year one in Delta state university (not real names or locations). I was what you call a buttee….that is someone from a pampered upbringing. While Dave was a typical warri boy. He had my back from day one when I was trying to do my registration and I was having some difficulties. From there, we became room mates, attended class together, fought some guys together, dated girls, had fun …..it was a real brotherhood.
Dave, I can say made me the man I am today…he changed me from buttee to a tough guy. Our parents also became friends. After service year, we both found our way to Lagos and struggled for a bit before we got jobs. I got a job first and was sustaining both of us. Later Dave got his job and since then, we have been moving up. Dave met Ify like eight years ago. This babe is fine….nice big arse…small waist, s3xy as f*ck,etc….my guy had a bad chick.
It was Ify that Dave decided to get married to. Their wedding was mad fun and I was their best man six years ago. They got married and moved into a 2 bedroom apartment and had their first daughter shortly. Two years later, I got engaged to Michelle, my girlfriend and we were getting married and planning to move to Lekki but two major things happened. I lost my job two months to our wedding and the lekki house turned out to be a scam.
Well, it was a terrible blow….the lekki house scam is still in court sef but at the time, Michelle and I agreed not to postpone the wedding…we were either going to her sister’s house after the wedding or stay in a hotel cos we could not afford another house rent for two years. But few days to the wedding, Dave said I could come and stay with him and Ify after our wedding cos going to relatives house might be uncomfortable for newly weds.
So, after wedding , we moved into Dave’s guest room. It was fun …Ify took care of us like family…everything was cool. I got a part time job working from home while the rest went to work. So, I was at home one day when I observed soft moaning’s from Dave’s room,. I was like, these people didnt go to work today? And they are having s3x? I smiled. But later on, Ify came out and greeted me cos I was working at the dinning table. I smiled and said, my brother don finish work abi?
Ify was embarrassed and said Dave was not around…she was the only one. The silence was awkward….then she tried to explain but I told her…not to worry cos its none of my business. She insisted…saying she always wanted to tell me but she was shy. She said, for the past one year, Dave hardly touches her…and when he does, he is done in 5mins. She feels something is wrong….she suspects hes cheating but she’s afraid to ask him ….but she also feels very horny and she masturbates to pleasure herself. So the moaning I heard, was her doing her thing.
I felt sorry for her….I told her I would talk to Dave but she had another agenda…she said she wanted me to f*ck her….I told her no…I can never do that to Dave….Ify said…I can ….that I will be helping save her marriage…she begged to say if I love them, I should do this for her. I told her I could not do it but this woman is a seductress….her clothes had started to come off…her perky breasts were out and every other thing that can send a man to hell was out.
I was saying no to her but my whole body was betraying me….her mouth was on my thing….sending hot vibes through me…I did her eventually…Haaaaa…..I did my best friend’s wife in his house. Behind my new wife’s back. the guilt after has never forgiven me since. Ify must have cast a spell but I take full responsibility for my actions. Since that day, I could never face Dave or Ify. Ify enjoyed it and tried every available opportunity to get a second f*ck from me but I knew I had to run for my life.
To be honest, that I was running from Ify did not mean I did not want her too..infact, I was running cos I wanted her too….I kept reminiscing on how hot the s3x was with her…how she was screaming and how I was acting like a possessed man. I knew if I stayed around her…I would do her again and again. All through school, no girl ever came between me and Dave…no one….how did I find myself so weak that I cant resist Dave’s wife now?
Four days later, I got a one bedroom apartment and moved my wife and I out …everyone was asking why the rush….I told them I just needed a small place to start life with my wife…no matter how small…cos if I continued staying with Dave, I would never feel the urgency to move out. My wife was not happy but she moved out with me. Its been two years since that incident happened. I do not go to Dave’s house alone anymore. I always find excuses if Dave wants me to come over by myself.
Dave called me last month to say he feels that since I moved out of his house, that I been acting weird…he asked if he or his wife treated us badly…I said no. Then he asked me, did my wife make a move on you? I froze!!!….I was like, is he aware? I tried to back up quickly and I said…bro what the f*ck do you mean? He said, because, me and Ify dont f*ck as much as we do…I think she is cheating on me. Then I remembered why Ify and I f*cked…Ify said…she thinks Dave is cheating on her too.
Their marriage is going through some rough times…they are both suspecting each and yet….I think not only Ify has cheated…I think Dave too has cheated…but the only thing is, Ify cheated with me….his best friend. Dave wants to ask me for advise….he wants me to talk to his wife for him…he loves her and does not want to loose her. Now, how can I be the one to talk to his wife for him? Me, of all people, I boned his wife…I am part of the problem and any attempt to talk to Ify will lead us back to that fateful day again.
ALSO READ:My Married Friend Is A Hypocrite Pretending To Be A Good Wife
I told my guy to see a therapist but I also need a therapist. I am hurting from the sin against my best friend and my wife. I don’t know how to not feel guilty. Sometimes, I feel like confessing to both of them. But that is my biggest nightmare…cos I do not know if confessing will do any good but more harm. By the way, my wife just had our son…I am not sure I can dump this on her…should I wait a few months or years before telling her or Dave? Or should I just keep mute and suffer in silence?
I also fear that Ify might one day even tell Dave herself….oh God….I fear that Ify…maybe I should have confessed when Dave asked me if his wife made a move on me but I was so scared….what if I said yes…would Dave have understood and forgiven me….As for Ify….anytime we managed to see since I left their house, like when she came for our baby shower and naming, this woman would be licking her lips and be sending me signals….I hope she is not that stupid but who knows….you know women can drive men crazy….Dave is crazy about Ify….what if he finds out what me his best friend/brother did with the love of his life?
Do you think if I tell Dave myself and tell him it was a mistake….and only once with Ify…do you think he will learn to forgive me…after all, we have been through alot together….but I imagine Dave and Michelle my wife cheated behind my back, I will commit murder and suicide maybe cos these are the two most important people I love in this world….I am already having sleepless nights about this awful secret. I need some help.
Please what do you think I should do?
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Without saying too much,go to God for forgiveness and forgive yourself,you need to forgive yourself and be free from any form of guilt.
You do not need to tell anyone,if not,you would complicate issues for yourself and create unnecessary enmity between you and Dave.
Keep your secret to yourself and mind how you relate with Ify and Dave.
God bless you
Dear poster, it’s obvious you regretted what you did and you do not want a repeat of what happened to happen again. Thumbs up for that. beg God for forgiveness and try to forgive yourself.Dave’s wife will not tell Dave what transpired between both of you because she’s very much still interested in you. It is you that should try all means to avoid her.Talk to Dave to make up with his wife he shouldn’t push her out.make him understand him and his wife both needs to bond if not their marriage will break. You can’t talk to his wife but at least you can talk to Dave. Maybe seeing them happy together might help you get better.With time you will get over it. It is only Dave that can make it work between himself and his wife.it is left for you to make Dave understand.my thought