HomeAdviceTrue Life Story: Why I Suspect My Wife Is Cheating On Me

True Life Story: Why I Suspect My Wife Is Cheating On Me


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True Life Story: Why I Suspect My Wife Is Cheating On Me

Hello Lively Stones,

I think my wife is cheating on me and I am very afraid of loosing her. I need your advise please. Save my marriage. I am the cause of what is happening to my marriage … I am to blame because I have not been a very good husband to my wife of 11 years. I married my wife at age 32 and she was a virgin. I had been a bad boy but I toasted my wife cos I wanted to sleep with her but she was the first woman to turn me down.

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The fact that she turned me down, made me resolve to get her to sleep with me at all cost. I did everything to get her but she maintained no s3x until after marriage. When she said she was a virgin at 32, I did not believe her so I made it my mission to marry her, so I can really check if she is truly a virgin. And she was truly a virgin. I felt good that I was the first man to know her…but that did not stop my bad habits of flirting with other women.

Where I come from, men do not like to be tied to just one woman. So, my wife was always sad that I was still cheating even after marriage. I disrespected her to the point, I brought women and had threesome with them in my home. My wife was always sad and she focused her energy on raising our son.

ALSO READ: True Life Story: My Wife Betrayed Me-Will Love Or Pride Conquer All?

After our son, she refused to get pregnant again…she said the marriage was not a healthy place to have children. At that time, I did not care really but as time went on, my son was 7 years old and no other sibling. I tried to change so my wife can forgive me. I stopped womanizing and my wife had our second child. Unfortunately, I went back to my old ways.

This made my wife to stop sleeping with me. Our marriage became like we were just ordinary room mates…in fact, my wife moved out of our bedroom. We only spoke about he children or any bill pertaining to the upkeep of the house, we never had s3x or had any conversation like couples do anymore. That was when I realized that my wife was really done with the marriage but she was staying because of the kids.

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My wife that I married as a virgin began to go out more and changed her looks and became very s3xy and sociable. I thought she was doing that to get my attention but she was really trying to move on without me. I noticed she started travelling more for work related assignments. At first, I ignored her, I tried to give the impression that I did not care but I realized she was moving higher and being happy and independent without needing me.

Before I knew what was going on, my wife started making plans to relocate abroad and I was against it but she told me she would file for a divorce if I try to stop her. I thought she was bluffing…but she went ahead and filed for the divorce. That was the turning point for me. I realized I needed her in my life and decided to change from then. I begged her and she said the only way was for her to relocate…

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Then I bought her a brand new car …that changed her mind…she stayed back but I noticed a few things about her. One, my wife used to be inexperienced with s3x  because she was a virgin when we met and I am the only man she has slept with. But now, she has become very wild during s3x and she is easily gets wet when I try to play with her. Its like she has become a small ashawo in bedroom matters.

I became worried because she was not like this before. She used to be tight in her vagina but now, she is not anymore…she used to dislike s3x but now, she likes it alot…infact…she does everything including oral. I asked her how she learnt all these, she said she has been doing research.  Let us just say, I am suspecting my wife so much now. One major reason I think she is cheating is that , her new business partner is in Abuja…they are always having business meetings and so on.

My wife flies to Abuja almost every week and spends days in the hotel. Several times I tried to reach her even as late as 11pm or even later, she will be in meetings. When I try to tell her that I am not cool with these late meetings, she brushes it aside…that I have nothing to worry…since I am the one that is the family black sheep and not her.

ALSO READ: I Have Been Suspecting My Husband, And My Suspicion Was True!

Then her birthday came…it fell on a weekend when she was in Abuja. I decided to fly in and surprise her. I got to her hotel and made all the surprise decorations in her room and waited all night in her room but she did not show up until 1am. I called and called her line but it did not go through…when she returned to her room around 1am…she was dropped off by that her new business partner …the way he was holding her was very flirty…she had no idea I was in the room…she was tipsy and was shocked when she opened her door and saw me waiting for her.

Immediately I saw the man, I became very angry and asked what he was doing with her at such and ungodly hour…the man quickly excused himself and left because I was getting upset and wanted to hit him…my wife tried to stop me by saying he just escorted her and nothing else….that her business associates took her out to celebrate her birthday. And he just wanted to make sure she got to her room safe.

That made me so angry. I called her all kinds of name in anger. She then started to come back at me, saying I have no shame…that I was the one cheating all through the marriage and have no right to call her a slut because I have never caught her cheating. To me and any child, it was clear the guy has something to do with my wife…the way he was holding her….the time they both came in…the fact she had been drinking…they were not expecting me and maybe he was planning to spend the night had I not been there.

That night was horrible…most of the things my wife said was true…I had pushed her too far…she has changed and she is no longer the innocent wife I once used to know. I asked her to tell me the truth…if she was really sleeping with the guys, then the marriage is over. She said she is the one that likes the man but he is younger than her so she never went after him.

However because she liked him, that is why she  wanted to relocate abroad so she can be with him without anyone judging her, so she can get away from our marriage and after a while, she would separate and go with the guy. However, since I changed and we got back together, she wanted to forget about the guy but the guy is the one trying to get her but she has told him she is not leaving her marriage anymore.

My wife said she has never slept with the guy and she swore with the lives of our kids. I do not believe her ….I saw how the guy was holding her and looking at her…please I do not want to loose her…I have been telling her to cut off the man…she said if I do not trust her, then I should allow her leave…because she cannot loose out on this business venture they are in together because I am jealous because a younger guy is showing her attention but she is not a loose woman, so I either trust her or let her go.

What do I do…should I trust my wife? Do you think she is telling the truth or is she cheating? By asking me to trust her…it feels like she is telling me I do not have a choice but to accept the man or our marriage is over. I understand that she does not want to loose this business because she has invested alot into it but this man tried to take her away when we were having issues…I am sure he will not stop trying…and what if she falls for him eventually? What if in the process of trusting my wife,…this guy wins her back?

Am I over thinking this or is my wife wrong? What should I do? I am so restless…It does not even help that the guy is a younger guy…I think he is the one making my wife distracted…I fear she is cheating or she cheated before…how do we move forward on this matter?


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. I like the fact that you are truthful ,honest and open, but nevertheless you caused all these.

    Believe your wife,trust her,she has told you nothing but the truth,make your marriage work,your kids can’t grow up in a broken marriage,it will tell a lot on them,please make peace with her and amend your ways,you married a very good wife but your behavior made her change, imagine marrying a virgin at 32,she must be a good and disciplined person.

    Please trust her,and don’t monitor her movement,your good behaviour will make her see reasons to begin to love you like never before,be a good husband to your wife and a good father to your kids.

    God bless you

  2. I love the woman already! Show bi men are promiscuous where you come from? Abi? Please get other women to come and do sixsome! It’ll make you a more macho man! When God gives you men a perfect gift, you in turn look for trash in the bin! Taste your own unfaithfulness and see!
    Plead with her. Change for good! She’ll be back!

  3. If this is really an advice group then I must tell you the truth.
    You are just a wicked man, you are not angry that she is cheating, you are only angry that she is happy.
    You did worse than she is doing now and saw nothing wrong because you had her where you wanted her (miserable and sad) now that it’s nolonger working you want her to leave the one making her happy so that you can finish her again. Oga the way she respected herself and left you alone you better give that woman space because she is human and she too deserves peace.

    • This is it.. he only wants her because she is moving on .. from the beginning of the story you sound very selfish .. you only married her to prove she is a virgin..nothing about love or care
      Imagine your husband have threesome in your house.. we can only imagine what you were doing outside
      Honestly your wife deserves much much better.

  4. Adultery is not a sin anyone should get into whether your wife or husband is doing same, it’s so unfortunate, people have lost their morals and allowed greed to rule over them.

    It’s good you have stopped it, you were very irresponsible bro, but as for your wife, if she wants to keep living in adultery, please leave her and let her be.

    You said, you are afraid of losing her, no bro, you shouldn’t be, I agree you really messed up, but like always say, adultery is a planned intentional wicked act, it can never be a mistake. You were committing adultery out of your greed, your wife too is doing adultery cos she is also greedy.

    If she wants to live, let her be. Life must go on bro.

    Flee from adultery bro.



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