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True Life Story: Why Is My Luck Taking Me From One Dangerous Boyfriend To Another?


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True Life Story: Why Is My Luck Taking Me From One Dangerous Boyfriend To Another?

Hi Lively Stones,

I need your candid advise. Please hide my details I beg of you. I do not want to be exposed for sharing my story. Three months ago, I played chief bridesmaid for one of my girlfriends. Her husband’s brother, one of the grooms men kept flirting with me all through the wedding. He kept complimenting my beauty and saying we could be the next couple getting married if I agreed for him. I told him I had a boyfriend but we are not serious.

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Long story short, due to too much partying and drinking, we slept with each other in his hotel on the night after the wedding. To me, it was a one night thing and I was hoping to loose him for ever. But somehow, he got my number and since then he has been disturbing me, saying he has met his wife in me, and he is not willing to give up until I agree for him.

Unknown to me, the guy  has been trying to track me. He finally able to track my house and came to see me few weeks ago. When he arrived, it was my mom who opened the door. The guy charmed my mom immediately. He is handsome and very likeable. When he left, my mom said she likes him. I told him what about my boyfriend, she said, that one that is not serious?

So because of what my mom said, I started giving this guy attention. I have always prayed for a good guy cos these days, good men are hard to fine.  My boyfriend then, even though were not serious, found out that someone else was coming for me and got very upset, he became very agitated and said no girl can dump him…that he will make sure I and the dude regret this. That I belong to him forever….

Few weeks ago, I got attacked on my way back from work. A couple of guys just surrounded me and those passing by did not even stop to help. They took my phone and dragged me to a  quiet corner. I thought I was going to be raped but they did not, they just called me all sorts of name and left. They were saying in yoruba, that I am a slut. That if I disrespect their oga again, they will come back and rape me. That really traumatized me.

When I got home, after managing, my brother and I went to make a report at the police station in the morning. It was treated as a random and lone incident. A week later, my new guy was attacked by a group of boys. They smashed his car windows, took his phones and stuff. They beat him and told him to leave another man’s wife alone. He kept telling them that he is not with any man’s wife but when he told me about his attack, I suspected my ex doing all this. I told him about my suspicions.

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Police invited my former boyfriend and he denied any involvement. The police later told my guy to leave me alone because my former boyfriend’s brother is one of the leaders of gang in the town. That even police cannot cross or catch him. That made my guy withdraw, he instantly stopped communicating with me, I felt very disappointed but after everything, I could not blame him cos, he may be he was afraid.

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Surprisingly, the next day, he called me and apologized. That he was not thinking. he begged and begged…I was like…ok. That was just last week. And then, just three days ago, my former boyfriend and some guys in their area was attacked by a gang and they shot several times. Someone was injured in the process. Rumor has it that a senior gang retaliated for the attack they carried out last week. My brother told my me that it seems my new guy got the most radical gang involved to carry out revenge for him.

I asked my guy and he told me to leave the matter to men to handle…that no body in this town can mess with me or him again. I was like, I do not want anything to do with gang, if he is involved, then we are out…he said he is not a gang member but he has the means to arrange boys if there is a need. I am totally in confusion…like how do I move from one gang boyfriend to another?

My brother has asked me to be very careful cos everyone now fears my new guy. I detest anything to do with such persons. I lost my cousin a few years ago to all these gang stuff. My parents have warned us not to have anything to do with these gangs. I want to break up with him but my brother says I should not breakup with him cos if the rival gang hears that I am no longer with this guy, they might try to hurt us. The police cannot protect me or my family from all these gangs.

If you see this guy, he seems to innocent, I cannot understand this…yes, he used his money to hire boys to deal with gang members for me…but if he can go to that extent…what else can he do? I am scared of him but he seems harmless on the surface…always calling me his wifey…should I be worried ?What should I do? I do not want to live in fear or put my family in any danger because of the guys I am dating. Please advise me.


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. You have to be very careful from boyfriend 1 to boyfriend 2,leave them alone biko. It is obvious that they are into some sort of cult.

    Please thread with caution and watch your back.

    Pray and watch

  2. Good men are not hard to find but ur taste for a guy is the reason why u left a gangster to for another gangster, ur life is at risk because u kindof have poor taste in choosing a man,if u know how some of us had to change university to run away from cult guys or cult clashes then u would understand how dangerous ur present situation is ,I would have told u to change environment but u see cultism aiye, Viking, blackaxe they have a large network if u like change environment they have guys in other states to track u ,my best advice if u would listen , quit relationship for now because ur life is in danger ,u are also setting both men’s life in danger ,if u also try dating a neutral guy ,u are putting his life in danger as well,and also u love bad boys from ur story I understand ur personality ,bad choices complicate a woman’s life

  3. I understand you are going through some things right now, but wisdom is profitable, don’t Just break up, allow everything to calm down before you break up, also change your taste in the kind of guys you like, God be with you…


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