True Life Story: Will My Sister Approve My Relationship With Her Ex Husband?
Dear Lively Stones,
One woman’s meat is another woman’s poison. At the risk of receiving abuse here, I still want to share my story because I need some advise. I am 26 years old, graduate with a good job. I lived with my elder sister while I was schooling. While I lived with them, their marriage was having alot of issues. Somehow, I got involved with the husband. It was not intentionally but the man likes me alot and we seemed to get along very well. We are like soul mates. He trusts me more than his wife then. One thing led to another and we occasionally had s3x. I regret that but in my head, I had a serious crush for him.
Eventually, their marriage packed up. They did not have a child. The wife, my sister cheated and got pregnant so they went their separate ways after 8 years of marriage. I also went abroad for my masters which I completed and returned last year. While I was abroad, I stayed in touch with my sister’s ex husband and he was in a relationship with another woman. However, when I returned, we resumed our relationship although it was kept a secret.
I noticed something changed about him, he seemed more calm. He was worried that he could not get any woman pregnant because after my sister left, the woman he has been dating, for almost 3 years, did not get pregnant. He has been treating low sperm count condition for many years. That was the major problem he had when he was married with my sister. But he also was not a good husband then. My sister too, she was always shouting at him, calling him spineless man, etc.
My sister is married with a baby now. She is happy in her new marriage. One of the things her ex told me was that he suspects that he is is cursed because his mother married his father when she was a side chic. That the father’s former wife, cursed the mother, that her children will never have peace in their marriage. So, he kind of has accepted his fate that he may never be able to father any children and any woman who cannot accept it, he will never marry again.
Despite the issue of low sperm count, despite all the many medications that he is on, he never failed to perform in bed. He satisfies me very well in bed. He is a good person, his condition just makes him insecure….I am the only one who really does not mind his condition….am I crazy to think that? I believe in miracles too…if God allows it, he can have his own biological child one day against all odds.
So its sad that he cannot produce sperm strong enough to fertilize an egg to make a baby but we get along so well and we can gist for hours. I love him, we are very happy together… and our relationship is very strong but still a secret because of my sister. It has come to a stage where we feel that we can no longer hide our relationship again.
We want to get married. I do not mind not having children. I mean, I can adopt children which my sister (by the way, she is my half sister, same father but different mother and our dad is late) never wanted. Any of his brothers or father can donate the sperm if we try IVF. He told me that if I agree, he can ask them to help with their sperm or we use a sperm donor that we do not know. I am happy with that. The problem is, my sister will not be happy with me. They have been divorced for four years now, is it too bad if her ex husband moves on with her sister?
We both do not really mind what others will say because life goes on, the only thing is, my sister trained me, I feel like she should get the respect of being told, she does not have to find out from outsiders but then, how do I face her to tell her? My guy says he does not owe her any explanation because she was the one who ended their marriage by cheating.
Well, he may not see the need to explain to my sister but I want to try…maybe she might even not care because she is aware that me and her ex were always friends…although she never knew we were f*cking. And she does not need to ever know. I just want her to be happy for me. Maybe this was destined to be…maybe God made her leave the marriage for me…the attraction has always been there even while they were together….I cannot explain it but I pray she holds no ill feelings towards me …Should I tell her or let her just find out for herself?
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