True Live Story: I Am A Straight Married Man Yet I Am Struggling With Temptation
Hello Lively Stones,
I read your stories and I love how you guys give good advise. Please help me, I think I am loosing control with my struggling with temptation and I have no one to turn to for help because I am ashamed of what I am about to tell you. My wife and I are happily married with a four year old son. We live abroad and we are happy until her younger brother came to live with us, last year. This guy came for his studies and naturally as his family, he moved in with my wife and I. He was very happy to have relocated and before long, he started getting carried away with abroad lifestyle.
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Taye, my wife’s brother is a very handsome guy and its very easy for ladies to be attracted to him. After a while, he got accommodation in the campus and he would only come home like once in a month. After several months, one day he came and we were teasing him if he has gotten a girlfriend yet but he said he is only into his studies for now. But few hours later, I mistakenly walked into him watching gay p@rn in his room. I was stunned and he was shocked that I saw him.
Later, he tried to explain that it was just for fun, nothing to it. I was like, in this country, we don’t judge peoples sexual orientation, so its not my business but he should be careful cos its not something our culture would welcome. He said he understood and we both left it at that. I mean, I felt it was not my place to talk to this guy if he was into all that kind of thing. But that was a mistake. That gave this guy confidence to confide in me that he likes men and women. He would be telling me how it’s a natural feeling and should not be fought.
Many times, I just listened and condoned his actions without his sister, my wife knowing. A few months later, he was leaving for campus after staying with us for a brief time. My wife and I were supposed to give him a ride back to his campus but she could not make it. I had to go alone with him. I noticed throughout the ride back, my wife’s brother kept touching me and flirting with me. I told him to stop cos I was not going to allow him try any sh!t with me. He apologized and said he has been fighting his feelings for me and since I understand him without judging, he wants to show me how grateful he is for my understanding and standing by him. I told him no to worry.
When we got to his campus and his room…we moved his things inside. After a while, he got some beers for us to drink and chill. After a while, he sat close to me and began to fondle me….I said no but he kept saying allow me…just allow me. OMG….I should have run away from him that moment but for some reason, I stayed put. The feeling felt dangerous but exciting. Taye went on and gave me a hand job and I wanted to stay stop but I did not. I was wrong of me and I stayed there. Taye kept saying things like, relax….we are not doing anything…we are just experimenting.
A few minutes later, my d#ck was inside Taye: we were experimenting. One thing I know is: I am not gay but after that day, I have not stopped thinking about that experience with Taye. I was mad at myself all through the ride back. I blocked Taye and have not spoken to him ever since. I have not been myself. I feel so guilty yet I think about the whole thing all the time…I get hard thinking about it but I h@te myself just for thinking about it. I have tried focusing on having marathon s3x with my wife so I can forget about Taye but I can’t.
Its even better that I cheat on my wife with a woman than a man….and now, not just any man….her own brother. Taye has been trying to use my wife’s phone to reach me since I blocked him. I just say a quick hello and rush off. My wife has asked if I am upset with the brother because she is surprised the brother cannot call me anymore on my phone. I told her no but that my phone is having an issue. I know she does not believe me…she suspects something is wrong. Few days ago, she told me Taye is not going to naija for summer but coming to our house. I vehemently said no and my wife is shocked. She is wondering my sudden behaviour towards her brother. I told her I do not have to explain anything to her but I do not want her brother anymore in our house. She is more confused. She has been asking Taye what he did to me and the guy has said nothing to her.
My wife told me yesterday that if I cannot tell her what her brother did to me, then he is coming to spend summer with us and there is nothing I can do about it. Please I need your advise…do I tell my wife her brother is gay and that is why I do not want him with us? If I tell her….what if she confronts him and he tells her that we both f#cked? Or should I keep quiet and let the guy come around? If he does, I do not trust that something will not happen between us. I already secretly want him to come cos I want to f#ck him again….I have been fighting these evil feelings in me….
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I know I am straight….I have never wanted to be bi or gay….the thought of it never appeals to me….its just this my wife’s brother…I made a mistake with him and I feel like if he comes around me again…I will make the same mistake because he is very manipulating…he made me feel like it was just experimenting…I convinced myself it was…I will never do that again…I do not want to…but if I am being honest, I could be easily tempted if Taye shows up in my house again.
One mind is telling me I can fight the feeling if I can get help or maybe therapy…is that possible? That is why I am putting this out….can I really find a way to fight this thing and still be around Taye? I can’t run from him for the rest of my life…my wife and her family all think Taye looks up to me but they have no idea that I have failed. Taye is now a torn in my flesh. I need help and advise. What do I do?
Anonymous
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Hello sir u are right on many fronts…..my encouragement is ask God whats my role in this home and God who are you in my home? I will encourage u sit with your wife in prayer for your home and i will encourage allow him come after you have had a retreat ..also sir please sit with yourself and really tell yourself the truth do u want to break your home as a result of gayism ….stand your ground you can do this. Be strong
Oga the anger in me as I was reading your Muumuu story with CAPITAL LETTER M,I can’t even complete reading this.I feel like slapping you but thank God you are not close to me. Who you Dey whine?. Go tell your wife that his brother is a gay and his tryna do it with you. Tell her you are so sorry that he has succeeded one’s but you want her to help you . Because as it is I’m sure you are not man enough to say no to that dandaudu (taye). Is better you tell your wife if not by keeping it a secret between you and taye made you a big and mature suspect,especially with the way you Dey praise the guy man called taye.initially you were praising his look and how woman are attractive to him but you no talk
For your story where him the flex with woman or woman tryna flirt with him. You are a weak man who can’t say no to that man woman called taye.OGA JUST THANK YOUR GOD SAY THIS THING NA LIVELY STONE IF NOT OUR STORY FOR END UP ON SOCIAL MEDIA TODAY. I for use you learn work.
Oga, you are straight but this your story isn’t straight.
Just one temptation of seduction you con fall ?
No matter what, you are older than Taye.
In a bid to experiment and catch cruise/fun you have dinned with the devil and your spoon is not long.
Bros you better confess to your wife. Thank God you cheated with a male and not a female. Neither of it is still perversion.
Confess, be free, and prevent Taye from initiating your little Son into Gayism because after you, it could be your son.
My shikini 2cent.
James 1:12-15 NKJV
[12] Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him. [13] Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. [14] But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. [15] Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.
https://bible.com/bible/114/jas.1.12-15.NKJV
Dear poster this is a sensitive and complex situation. Here are some steps you can consider
Firstly Clearly communicate your boundaries to your brother-in-law, letting him know that you’re not interested in any intimate relationship.
Secondly Talk to your wife: Have an open and honest conversation with your wife about what happened and your concerns. Be careful not to accuse or blame her brother, but focus on your own feelings and boundaries.
Thirdly Discuss the summer plans: Share your concerns with your wife about her brother’s visit and suggest alternative arrangements or boundaries for his stay.
Lastly If your brother-in-law’s behavior continues to be manipulative or disrespectful, it may be necessary to re-evaluate the relationship and set boundaries or distance. Remember, your feelings and boundaries are valid. Communicate openly and honestly with your wife, and you need her support as well
Whatever new feelings you might feel about same sex can be temporary and dealt with if you and your wife agree together wishing you best of luck
I want to believe your wife’s brother is younger than you in age, right?
I wonder how straight you are that you didn’t straighten his head when you caught him watching porn, rather, he ended up pulling you into the pit that he is into.
You need to confess to your wife and tell her everything. Already she’s suspecting something is wrong. Her knowledge might save you from plunging deeper into that evil.
As for her brother, only God can deliver him now.