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True Story: My Ex Is In Trouble-How Do I Help Her Get Away From Her Dangerous Husband?


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True Story: My Ex Is In Trouble-How Do I Help Her Get Away From Her Dangerous Husband?

Hello Lively Stones,

I need to share something and I need your opinion about it. I caught my cousin and girlfriend in bed like 9 years ago. Then we were still in school. I lived off campus. I lived lavishly for a student, I come from a well to do background. Having girls around me was easy but I really liked this girl Ama (not real name).

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So, you can imagine my disappointment when I caught her f*cking my own cousin in his room in our hostel.I was more embarrassed when I found out the entire hostel knew both of tnem have been f*cking all the while. Of course, we broke up and my relationship with my cousin was strained for many years.

This cousin of mine, Ejike, for some reason has serious jealousy for me. His dad and my dad are siblings and he always likes to show that his dad is rich like my dad but his dad’s money no reach my pops at all. Any ride I got, he will get it or try and get something higher. The competition is crazy. I think he got into same school as me just to prove a point.

ALSO READ:My Ex Dumped Me Before So I Am Scared Of Being Seen As Desperate

Well, I fashied him…its been nine years and I heard Ejike married Ama like four years ago. I was in the US and I didn’t attend his wedding. We are not really in speaking terms. I was married and now divorced with an American, we have two kids together. I live and work in the states.

Last year, my grand ma died and we all came back for her burial in January. It was a huge event cos my people are big shots. It was like a one week carnival. Of course, I saw Ejike and his wife Ama, she still looked pretty but a big fat. They have kids, am not sure how many.

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Ama approached me for my number and I told her I would never give her. She later came to my hotel room one very early morning. I was surprised to see her, she begged me to help her, that she needs help and there is no one she can go to. I told her, to meet me in the hotel restaurant, she said no, that she does not want Ejike to see her talking to me.

Ama looked scared and for a minute, what came to my mind was, maybe her life was in danger, so I allowed her in my room. Once in, she knelt down and started to beg me. Saying she knows she offended me but she was under a spell. That Ejike has never liked me and was really jealous of me back in school.

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That Ejike used charms on her, she fell hopelessly in love but now, she has realized herself. Ejike is not in love with her. He beats her and threatens her and her family. That he made them and can destroy them cos he has money. He has 2 side chicks who have children for him too. Ejike has a strong lust for power and money and can do anything to get it.

Ejike’s wife kept telling me horrible things that Ejike told her about me and my family. She wants to divorce him but she is afraid he might hurt her or her kids or her family. She then revealed that when Ejike convinced her to sleep with him, she was pregnant with my child but Ejike took her to get an abortion.

Ama was shaking as she was telling me all these but I was too confused. Why is she telling me all these? Is it because she needs my help to leave Ejike or what? why tell me of a pregnancy she had for me more than 9 years ago and aborted to f*ck my cousin? I felt sorry for her and told her there was nothing I could do.

ALSO READ:My Fiancée Kept Secrets Some Dangerous Secrets From Me-Please Advise

That was when Ama took off her clothes and started trying to seduce me. Well, she is a sight to behold and she promised to appreciate me very well if I help her. Help her do what? Help her get papers so she can run away with her children to the US. I told her I could never do that cos apart from the fact that she is my well hated cousin, she is my ex…

How do I explain that I helped her escape her marriage? And if Ejike hates me that much, imagine how much more he will when he finds out his wife escaped with me? Ama showed me pictures of her bruises when Ejike beat her up. They were gory. I told her I would help her get a good lawyer to take Ejike to court but she said she would rather commit suicide that take Ejike to court in Nigeria.

Ejike is friends with the big government officials in Nigeria. Ama fears, Ejike will use his influence against her and deal with her if she went to the police or sue him in court. I understand what she means, this country is f8cked up….the rich control everything and she wont stand a chance.

I promised to find a way to help her. That made me go talk to my father about it. My dad after listening to me, cautioned me not to get involved. That Ejike and his dad, who is brothers are deadly people. That Ejike’s father is even worse. Ejike’s father beat his mother until the woman ran away when Ejike was still very little. My dad told me his brother is deadly, so I should stay away from them.  Through out the burial, I kept avoiding Ama. A few days to when I left, I didnt see her anymore. They had left apparently for their home in Abuja.

A few days later, Ama sent me a video, she filmed herself, Ejike had beaten her again and r*ped her as well. Ama’s mother then called me, the woman was crying and begging me to save her daughter. That I am the only man her daughter ever loved, that she was not herself for many years and the family is helpless because Ejike is a rich and powerful man.

I felt rage and I truly thought I should intervene but I do not know how without tipping off Ejike and unleashing his wrath. I decided to help her get American visas to travel. So, I asked her to send me pictures of her and her children to me.

I had to fly to Abuja to meet her. She met me in my hotel room to hand over the pictures. Ama looked so lean, I held her just to comfort her and before I knew it, we were kissing. I know this was dangerous but I just wanted to make her feel better. We made love. I suddenly felt an urgent urge to protect her, afterall, she was my girlfriend before she was bewitched.

I promised Ama I would do everything in my power to help her. Maybe it was the s3x…I was suddenly very drawn to her and I was no longer afraid of what Ejike might do. I got an agent that has been working on her visa and for her children’s’ visa. I couldn’t tell anyone what I was doing until I returned to the states and confided in a very good friend of mine, Charles.

Charles is advising me to end every connection with Ama, he says its a trap. That even though I am not afraid of Ejike, but that if I help her, Ejike will stop at nothing to destroy me or her or anyone we love. Isnt that a bit too dramatic? I know there is a risk but should I then abandon a woman who was once in love with me and was jazzed to love someone who did not want to see me happy?

If you were in my shoes, what would you do? Would you help an ex that was constantly being abused both physically and s3xually or just leave her to her faith just because you are afraid of what her abuser may do? My plan was for her to come her in US, settle down, send Ejike a divorce and we could see what the future holds for both of us after.

I cannot say the idea of getting back at Ejike has not crossed my mind. She was the love of my life that was stolen from me…isn’t it payback worth it? Is the life of Ama not worth it? He even killed my unborn child…why cant I steal back what Ejike stole from me? Yes, they are married , she is his wife I get it but she is under duress…possibly charmed and her life is in danger and everyone is too scared to help her.

Ama should be safe in America…what more damage can Ejike possibly do…I am angry and I  want to save Ama from a horrible person who has never liked me from day one…what is so wrong about that…My ex is in trouble and I am the only one who can help her. I just need your input on the matter.


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Mr,do you think you know more than your dad?that first thought that came across your mind telling you to have nothing to do with ama , do you think God is crazy? The answer is no,if not for any other thing . just for the sake of your life, remove every hand or anypart of you that has already been involved in that matter,so that your Head can be save.pleae be wise.

  2. Young man don’t be daft, no body was jazzed, she deliberately left you for your cousin. Use your head and let her be for she never loved you.
    The abuse didn’t start over night, she knew what she was delving into so don’t be loony. When they were enjoying the money, neither she nor her mom tried to contact you. Don’t be so easily cajoled, seduced or brainwashed. You already have a baby mama and I’m certain you are paying bills both for yourself and your kids and that’s enough responsibility so mind your business. There is no future between you both, she will only use you to get her papers and dump your naive ass thereafter so that being said, if she needs help she should look elsewhere not you. Face front oga

  3. I have not commented on this platform for a very long time. I have been a silent reader. First things first, that girl was not jazzed, she left you to your cousin on her own will. Maybe as daft as she was then, who knows all the heaven on earth your cousin might have promised her. So my little advice to you is to leave her alone. Don’t go and bring trouble to yourself when trouble is jejely staying on its lane. She will only use you as a means to her end which is to go to the US. Use your head well. Don’t allow a jezebel to use your head. By the way you messed up by sleeping with a married woman.

  4. Totally agree that Ama needs help, her life is in danger and she needs to be assisted to safety out of Ejike’s reach but if you must get involved, do it from the shadows. If she has videos of the assault and verbal abuse, she can post them online. There are NGOs that can help her find safety. Internal Human Rights bodies should also be contacted.

    Do not be seen or connected to her. Your father is right, these people seem deadly and while you are trying to help, do not put yourself at risk.

    Above all, forget all thoughts of being intimate with Ama…shes the past. Any romantic relationship with her is forbidden. You may be think you are falling in love with a victim but she has trouble written all over her. Who knows, it might just be a trap too.

    Be wise and stay safe. Stay out of the open in this matter.

  5. Nothing concern you and Ama again. Nobody jazz anybody. It was long throat that made her follow Ejike. Mr Do-good, pls face front and leave her alone.
    Let her go to the authorities with her evidence of domestic violence and marital rape.
    Government is corrupt but she will still find help there.

  6. What would I do if in your shoe? I would go MIA and abandon everything I have done so far with and for Ama. How would you help her while six feet under? Once you’re dead, that’s it. Btw that’s where you’re headed if you insist in involving yourself with this lady. One thing that hasn’t crossed your mind is, if you were equally from a well off family, what business did Ama have entertaining your cousin? Did you ever deny her anything? I feel like,if she did love you,truly, she should have avoided and stayed off any near occasion of interacting with ejike. I’m sorry but you’re digging your own grave with this Ama matter.

  7. Give her enough money to enable her divorce… That’s the best help you can render now. Assist her but don’t be into her again.
    Just assist her to get her freedom by paying the lawyers and legal battles behind the scenes.

  8. Honestly, I don’t think you know what you think you’re doing. For someone to break your heart and blame it on juju is a very childish excuse to me. Clearly you can’t see this girl is just manipulating you.
    Trust me you’re just a means to an end. Heed to your father’s warnings and the advice your friend gave you. Stay away from her and live your life in peace. You have made it clear how dangerous your cousin is and how far he is willing to go. Bro, kindly choose life over a death wish. You’ll thank me later.


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