True Story: My Girlfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Didn’t Propose On Valentine’s Day
Hi Lively Stones,
I need your readers objective advice on this. I want to know if I am being objective or paranoid. I met Vera (not real name) and we have been dating since 2019. Vera is a nice girl gorgeous and smart. I was surprised she was a virgin and I would love to marry her except for the reasons I am about to explain.
Everything is fine with our relationship except that Vera is living in an unreal romantic world. She is constantly expecting some ‘romantic’ things from me and I am trying my best but it never seems like my best is good enough for her. I know women love romance but that is why most of them are gullible and fall into the hands of the wrong guy.
From the time we met, I have never pretended to be who I am not. I am not a mushy person. I love you does not mean I have to do only the things that you like. Yes, she likes romantic dates, flowers and all that sh*t. I am someone who believes in doing the best that you can within your capacity.
I work as a site engineer in an oil and gas company. I hardly have time for myself and when I want to spend time with my girl, I really just want to do so without drama. Our first valentine date in 2019 was very beautiful. Then she made a statement that she would like to get proposed to on valentine’s day or any day that is significant to her like her birthday or her parents anniversary.
To me, she was giving me a hint and I laughed because then, it was too early to even think of getting married. The second year, our valentine’s day, I was onshore site work. I made plans for some things to be delivered to her. She did not really appreciate it cos she wanted me to be around and maybe she thought I was going to propose.
The main reason why I haven’t proposed is two reasons;
- Vera is always complaining that I am not romantic. I want her to understand who I am first, accept me for my flaws and do not over expect anything that I cannot give her. If she cannot do that, I will not propose.
- Secondly, Vera is always saying that I should remember I took her virginity. That she only gave it to me because she believed I was going to be her husband. Well, that seems like a blackmail to me. I didn’t force her to give me her virginity. I could have married her a virgin or not.
Being a virgin does not mean I must marry you. I feel like she is putting me under pressure. Yes, I will marry her when she learns to relax and not expect anything from me. I have tried to explain my stance to her but she will not listen.
This valentine, I planned for us a romantic getaway. I thought I was really making an effort this time. I booked a nice room in a fancy hotel, I did balloons and all that fancy stuff. Yes, she was wowed when she came in. We had a great dinner and all. When we started making out, she flipped out.
Vera said she was not in the mood. I asked why, she said, its obvious that even though I planned a very romantic valentine, I did not propose and as such she feels even after 3 years of dating, if I do not want to propose, she wants to move on. Before I could say anything, she started to cry. Which is something that she does every time and it irritates me alot. She started calling me destiny waster. Time waster. That she gave me her virginity, wasted 3 years with me….yet no proposal. Ah…
I actually got pissed off because this was not what I was expecting. I was in the mood, very hard, ready to make love to my woman and she just killed the mood with her yeye cry. I got angry and got out of the bed. I said some things in anger. I was trying to tell her that I would never be the man she expects me to be and she should either take that or leave it.
I also told her I would propose when am ready, not on her own time table. Am I not the one to propose? Is she going to force me to be ready to propose? Seriously, I was pissed and so, I got angry too. She was still crying, she got dressed and left. Before, I would beg her not to leave but man don tire to beg na. She left around 11pm.
That night, I wont lie, I was tempted to pick up an olosho for f*cking cos how do I arrange an expensive room for valentine and no action for me. But I chilled out sha. The next morning, I didn’t call her cos I was still upset. But I started feeling soft towards evening. I called her line and it didn’t go through. I tried for several hours until I realized she had blocked me.
Tried her WhatsApp and all social media, she blocked me. That really infuriated me. At that instant, I decided to forget about her but I swear I couldn’t sleep all through that night. I am still angry. I want her back by all means….I want to go and beg her to forgive me but then again, how do I ask her to forgive me when she is the one that is wrong? I need her to stop thinking she can manipulate me to propose by saying I took her virginity and all those crazy stuff.
Is she not wrong for always insisting on me proposing? Is she not wrong for ruining the very expensive romantic valentine I planned for us? My head is just spinning…I miss my girl…I don’t know what to do…please how do we resolve this matter? I need your advice. To propose is not an issue but I cannot be forced into proposing. I will do it at my own time.
Am I being paranoid? Please advice abeg cos I don’t understand again…
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