True Story: My Girlfriend Gave Me An Ultimatum To Propose In Three Months
Hi Lively Stones,
I am confused, I need advice. I am hopelessly in love with my woman but I do not know if she loves me as much as I love her or she is just looking for a way to escape her situation? Its a long story but I will keep it short.
About six months ago, I met my girlfriend at the club. She was a sight to behold and I was looking for companion that night, she was giving me the vibes. We left the club together and had a great time in my place. I usually do not take the number of any girl I hook up with but this girl had a great game and I knew I had to see her again.
So, I chatted with her, asked her to spend the weekend with me. All I wanted was some action. And she came and did not disappoint. She is a monster in bed and I loved every minute with her. She knocked me out and I slept very late. When I woke up, I could not believe my eyes.
This girl had cleaned my entire house, washed my clothes and she was making noodles for breakfast for me. I was like….what is this babe trying to do, is she trying to make me fall in love with her or what? I was impressed. We spent the entire weekend f*cking and watching movies. I knew I had to see her again.
That was how we started our relationship. Her name is Rose(not real name). She understood the assignment. She was ready to f*ck anytime I wanted or anything I wanted her to do and I paid her very well. I found out that she was a part time student and a single mother. She was working the club to send money to her son and sponsor herself in school.
Rose won my heart easily. I discovered she was making very happy. I told her to stop her hook ups in the club cos I was getting jealous when she told me she was ‘working’…I did not want to share her with any guy so I placed her on a 300k per month pay plus other small allowances here and there.
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Then one day, as she was spending time with me, I noticed her phone was ringing off the hook….she eventually had to out off her phone. I asked her who was blasting her phone and she told me its a former client, but that she told the dude she is not available. So, I took her phone and wanted to call the guy to stop calling or I will beat him up.
To my surprise, the name that she saved the caller was: Kola Baby daddy. I was like, is this guy you baby daddy? She started stuttering and said yes. So why did you lie, saying it was a client? She said she didn’t know want anything to do with him cos she told me that he has not been sending money or asking about their son who is with her mother in Benin.
In my anger, I called the baby daddy…I wanted to tell him to back off, that Rose now has a man. When I called him and started warning him, the guy was quiet, all he said was…”Mister, I do not have any dealing with you, just tell Rose to get back to the house now, I have been waiting for her for 4 hours. Man, Rose can never be yours. I took her virginity and I may be a disappointment to her now but I f*ck her anytime I want and no ma can change that”.
What gave this nigga the courage to say he can f*ck my girl anytime he wants? I now questioned Rose. She said he is lying. I told her if she does not call him in my presence and tell him to stop lying, its over between us. She sat there looking at me, obviously she could not call him back …so I told her to get her stuff and get out.
That was when she started begging me. Saying she is not sleeping with the baby daddy since she met me but that he came into town, he didn’t have any where to stay and before meeting me, when he is in town, she allows him stay in her place. She said the guy is a broke nigga and she has nothing to do with him.
I asked Rose if she used to sleep with him when he stayed in her place, she said yes…but that its not because of love but she was sleeping with men for money including her baby daddy when he came around. I was like, this is too much. So, this baby daddy came to Lagos today and he is in your house and you didn’t tell me?
So why didn’t you ask him to retract the statement he made saying he can f*ck you anytime he wants? Rose said she didn’t want to offend him so that he will not be angry and stop sending money for their son’s upkeep. I was like, but you said he does not send money… she said he sends money but not always, like once or twice in a month.
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I told Rose to choose…either she stops letting her baby daddy stay in her place or we broke up. Rose looked at me and said, so you want me to choose right? If I choose you, what then, will you marry me? Or am I just a f*ck buddy to you? She was essentially saying that she is not sure of my intentions for her, so why should she cut off her baby daddy.
That really annoyed me cos I told her that even if I have any intentions for her, her relationship with every other man must end including her baby daddy. Rose told me ok….that she will block the guy and tell him about me, so that he can back off but that since he is the father of her son, she cannot tell him not to see his son.
However, she says she is giving me three months…if I do not propose to her, then she can see any man she likes because she is not sure of my intentions for her. That many men promise her heaven and earth but no one wants to commit cos they know she is a single woman who is a hooker. What she is saying if I want her to cut off all men away, then I must make her an honest woman and marry her.
When I asked her why she is putting an ultimatum, she said, that way she will know if I am serious or wasting her time. She said she is fine with being my f*ck buddy but if that is what I want, then I cannot lay claim to her exclusively because there is no assurance that I will not break up with her.
To be honest, I have indeed fallen for Rose…She is everything I want in a woman but her past is a baggage I am not sure I can deal with. The baby daddy is the one that took her virginity, I think she has feelings for him but she said she does not. What if I cannot keep him away from her…after all, they have a son together?
Do you think she really loves me enough to block her baby daddy for ever? The guy had the audacity to say he took her V so he can still f*ck her anytime. Rose said he is bluffing, that he said that to annoy me. But its true…I am not sure I can compete with a man who took a woman’s V plus they have a son together.
What if she is not completely over him? What if she is agreeing to stay with me because I of the money but her heart is truly with him? When Rose told me she was giving me 3 months to propose, I asked her if she loves me…..she said if I didn’t love you, why would I ask you to propose to me in 3 months?
What she said makes sense…so I let the matter end that way. Rose spent five days in my place. She needed a change of clothes so I told her I would drop her off but I could not get back home on time, so I told her I would pick up the clothes myself on my way. Getting to her apartment, I got her key from her neighbor and went inside her apartment.
I picked up a few items for Rose before I saw that the baby daddy dropped a note for her. The note read: Babe, call me when you get back or I will f*ck up that your guy and tell him all about you. I took the note with me and showed Rose when I got to my place. Rose read it and said the guy is just over reacting cos she didn’t come back before he left her place.
Fear of the unknown between Rose and this her baby daddy is giving me cause for worry. What does the gut mean by he will f*ck her up and reveal her secrets? Rose said maybe he thinks I am not aware she used to work in the clubs…is that all he really meant? I love Rose but feel I do not know her enough….so I wanted to tell her that giving me an ultimatum to propose in 3 months is too short.
Rose has said its either 3 months of nothing. By her giving me an ultimatum, it feels like she is just looking for assurance, not really because she is in love with me….Should I oblige her or walk away? I really do not want to loose her but then, I still have some doubts. What should I do?
Anonymous
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Rose loves you but she can’t completely ignore her baby dad. I advise you take ur time. Know more about her relationship with the man and from there u can conclude on ur choice.
Please do not oblige,you only love her because she is good in bed and can do house chores,atleast these were things that first attracted you to her in the first place. She has not decided, infact she does not love you,if you like give her 1million as monthly allowance,she will still go back to her vomit. A woman who truly loves you,will do away with every man in her life and stay faithful to you no matter what it is. What else does she want? Why play hide and seek? A woman that loves you and knows you love her too,will stand her ground and be with you,now she is giving you an ultimatum of proposing to her within 3months. My brother becareful,na express you dey cross oooo. Have you even prayed concerning who this lady is? Just because she is fire on bed, abi,is that all a woman should have as a wife material? My brother be calming down,avoid this heavy rain ooo and look for rain coat to cover yourself. Peace
She has been hurt by too many men in her life and doesn’t want you to make her another statistics.
Don’t disregard the fact that her baby daddy will always be in her life.
I think she’s developed feelings for you and is giving you that ultimatum to be completely sure you’re not going to play her.
Your relationship has been built on a shaky foundation no doubt but if you’re sure you’ve started developing feelings for her back please restart the relationship process properly by wooing her, dating and proposing to her. Stop the S.e.x for the meantime, get to know her person and see if things will work out between you guys but Sir, if you’ve not started dating her properly or ready to commit to her leave her to continue her runs life, don’t ever use her past to judge or insult her.
A relationship founded on how great the S.e.x is, to be honest, it’s quite tricky. Minus the S.e.x, what else could you sit and say you admire about her? What else does she bring to the table? Let me say this, most not all prostitutes are great in bed. Secondly, lust can really cloud someone’s mind immensely. Instead of agreeing to this ultimatum,why don’t you ask her for a break and during that period, see if you could set her up or have someone watch her. From what you’ve been giving her, I’m sure she’s saved enough. She won’t rush back to the streets,is she does,I think you need to keep off all these things ….it’s not worth dying for anyway….all the best
Dear poster, I will advise you to be careful of your decision, your relationship was built on S.e.x, which is clouding your mind, the girl may love you but I think she also loves what she’s getting from you…I want you to know this also :she’s indecisive and because of this it will be very hard to separate her from her old life, including her baby daddy, they have a child together, also he knows every part of her…..are you ready to go through emotional trauma?
I will advice you retrace your steps….peace bro….
Dear Poster,
You don’t know this lady enough to propose in 3 months. Her story has holes. Please, slow down and get to know each other better.
Lust for the flesh, not love brought you people together. To make it worse, the S.e.x is clouding your judgement.
You’re of the impression you’re in a relationship. To her, you guys are f*ck buddies. I don’t think she loves you yet. The money and S.e.x is no news to her. Offer her something more…
Map out a Roadmap for the relationship. Where do you see yourselfs in 1yr, 2yrs, 3yrs? How do you people plan to make it happen? Her son, how does he fit into the relationship? What are her aspirations and how do you intend to support her? What is your vision and how does she fit into it?
Also, life is spiritual and so is s*x. So, you can’t possibly enter a serious relationship with her given the current lifestyles without proper deliverance. Trust me, except you’re ready to rubbish your life even before you start.
How you people met makes for a very faulty foundation. Please reset and start all over again.
Deliverance will help you two discover your real self (worth). Don’t use sleepy eyes to make a life changing decision. Let God help you see correctly.
Please be very prayerful.
All the best.
Please don’t marry her, she’s not an honest person. They’re some shady stuffs about her so please pause, stop the S.e.x, date her and see if anything changes. So if something happens and she can’t f*** you would you still love her? Are you ready for the baby daddy drama? Are you also ready to be a good dad to that boy irrespective of what the mum does? Think twice
You met a lady and took her to your place to have S.e.x, S.e.x and S.e.x. You started paying her 300k monthly and help her business…you are an irresponsible man, very irresponsible man.
You are still asking if it cos of your money she is with you, so you still want someone to tell you that.
What is wrong with men of today, you all worship women and spend your hard earned money to please some, later you all shout women are gold diggers, but you men are the cause of ladies entitlement mentality.
You are a badly behaved man. It may not end well with you, the other guy already said it, you guys just risk your life cos of women who don’t love you and you think money will make them love you….you are still a kid bro. Wise up and don’t be a simp.
I hope one day you’ll not wake up to complain S.e.x is the only thing she brings to the table. You can’t plant cassava and expect to harvest yam.
Wise up man! Don’t allow S.e.x becloud your sense of reasoning.