We Had A Secret Affair Once But Its Getting Very Difficult To Hide Our Feelings
Hi,
I need your advise. My name is Helen(not real name). I am 42 years old widow. My husband passed away last year from Cancer. He was diagnosed two years ago, we did everything but he eventually passed.
My late husband was 10 years older than me and even before he was diagnosed, he and I were having issues with our s*x life. He had erectile dysfunction. I tried to manage the situation but it was very difficult for me.
I had an affair with my husband’s business partner, David (not real name). But David’s then girlfriend found out and threatened to tell my husband so we ended things. But after my husband passed last year, David and I rekindled our love.
What we both feel for each other is very strong. David’s girlfriend is now his fiancée but he says he has no intention of marrying her cos he wants to be with me. When David broke up with her, she got very upset and is threatening to tell everyone that David and I were sleeping together when my husband was alive and sick.
She is even saying that she will tell people that I killed my husband so I can be with David. My husband died of cancer complications, I did not kill him, but this woman is trying to destroy me just because David chose me over her.
David told her to go to hell…but I am worried that people might believe this woman’s lies cos you know Africans, they like to blame a woman for everything like the death of her husband. I told my mother about us and she quickly discouraged me, saying I should break up with David, that its too soon and because of David’s closeness to my late husband, people will talk.
I told David to move on but he says he cant. Frankly speaking, its hard for me too. I want him so bad, so now, we are hiding our relationship. I told David to relocate with me so we can be together without hiding but he says he cant leave his business.
So we have been keeping our relationship a secret and praying his ex does not come out to say all the lies she threatened to tell about me. But its getting harder to hide and I am terrified of being discovered ,then it would really look like I am guilty of bad things like cheating on my husband with his business partner and causing his death so we can be together.
Now, I might be pregnant. My period has been late for a month. But I am so scared of taking a pregnancy test cos I really feel pregnant. David has said he wants to marry me when I told him I suspect I am pregnant. He does not want us to have our baby outside wedlock.
David does not think we should continue to hide our relationship. He says we have nothing to fear cos we did nothing wrong but he is a man, no one will blame him but me, the woman is always at fault…. Its even barely one year after my husband’s passing…
How do I hide a pregnancy? How do I hide my love for David any longer…how do I explain to my family and my children that I am getting married so soon without raising suspicion?
Please advise me…what should I do about this? I am confused…
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Please go and marry him. You didn’t kill your husband. Even if David married someone else you won’t let him be. people will get tired of talking and move on.
Please follow your mind ma’am peopleave will still talk but everything will eventually die down. Marriage is till death do you part. You are not obligated to mourn forever. Ignore David’s ex and her fabricated stories. Just do what makes you happy, commit everything in God’s hands. This too shall pass….
Hello madam,
The first affair was clearly wrong. And only if you waited a little longer to get on with David. That would have removed every suspicion. Its really hard to detect if you are being entirely honest. The timing of all seem a little too convenient…
That said, we are not judging you but you probably need to relocate more than ever. You don’t need the negative energy that will come from the revelation that you got with your late husband’s friend and you are pregnant for him in less than a year.
Seems really suspicious. Your kids too might feel betrayed and the memory of their father abandoned so fast.
So relocate…have the baby somewhere quiet and see what the future holds. Maybe a marriage with David after some time but be careful of David’s intentions…if he leaves a fiancée for you…hope he will be a faithful partner?
Ask God to forgive you and guide your actions.
Cheers
You really have made some bad choices in the past. You have to repent from it… Do what’s best for your kids also. So they don’t feel betrayed. It’s not about your happiness all the time. Consider others you are hurting also
U are absolutely right my dear, tell her more please
Pls madam,u don’t do things in a hurry, u should HV wait for a little longer before jumping in another relationship, at least show some respect to ur husband dead for a y, bcus u are the cause all problem here.ur husband just died and the next u could do is to move on with ur fellow woman husband to b.its not good bcus d different is clear that people will b thinking that u and ur late husband business partner plot ur husband and u are really happy about it , and u even got pregnant for him.definitely u don’t really love ur husband when he was alive.bcus f different is clear here
Hmm. Madam, I will tell you the bitter truth, you are a covetous and greedy woman, if it your husband that was having an affair you will say men are scum, you may even try to kill him, you had an affair with his friend…I’m sure your husband trusted you and took care of you and the kids but you cheated on him with his close friend all along, you committed adultery and after you husband’s death you want to continue fornicating abi. Madam, you don’t love this man at all, its the S.e.x that has blocked your sense of reasoning, you think he will be faithful to you and you yourself I’m sure won’t be faithful to him, both of you are deceiving each other cos of the S.e.x you are both enjoying. Both of you are really terrible people, I don’t mean to insult you but I always make sure I tell the truth. Mark my words “you will regret this evil lifestyle you are living”. GOD bless you madam. I hope you rethink and behave like a 42 years old woman you said you are. blessings.