Good evening ma
Ma am really bitter right now and I think talking to you will be the best
My name is Kate (not real name) , I got married November 2018 .I have a son who is 9 months old…
I have a serious problem with my man, I don’t really understand him at all…Everytime we have a quarrel, he always call me names.. like, useless woman, I regret ever marrying you, I wish I can turn back the hands of time I won’t marrying stupid woman like u, etc… Alot of names name…
And now just this night. I am this type who doesn’t like s*x, especially always . Sometimes I will just allow him to do what he wants to do even when am not in the mood…
So ma, this night he wanted s*x and honestly I wasn’t in the mood, but yet I didn’t stop him rather I didn’t move and been romantic, so he couldn’t enter me at all because of my mood, before I know he just push me away and left the bed….
The next thing I heard was,,”” you are very stupid, I regret ever marry you,,, I know I made a big mistake marry you, and mind you, I can still divorce you, I am 60 percent sure that you are just a mistake that am managing””” i
Infact ma, he said alot to me this night,,, I was surprise because anytime I am in the mood, infact the way I do ride him he always confess that am the best and he can’t get enough of me, but anytime am not in the mood, he will just be insulting me….
Hot tears is just rolling out of my eyes, hearing the man I exchange vows with calling me a useless stupid and managing wife 😭😭😭😭😭😭
Right now I feel like divorcing him and stay single forever,,, after all am a graduate I have my certificate and am strong enough to take care of my self and my son….. Ma please I am seriously bitter right now, I feel like running out of the house right now.
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Photo Credit: Sovereign Grace Church
Fear is a destroyer.
We all have fears and many times take steps even in fear.
But our fear should challenge us to be better persons with outstanding results not kwep us out of our dreams.
Think deep. You need a woman and yes you wsnt one for real not just a lover.
Any reasonable woman will want to build a home with her man not just a bed warmer.
Kill your fear and take this one serious.
Pray about her and your future, be free and share your feelings.
Most all, it’s in your power to make this work.
All women aren’t and won’t be like your ex but you need to discuss all factors that may pose threat like your former experience from the beginning.
Get some books, seek for counsel and be open to your new woman.
You can have a happy home, marriage and future.
All the best.
Sorry for all you are passing through. I think you should get yourself busy with a project or job. Take good care of yourself and also tell him you do not appreciate the insults. Involve someone like a mentor he listens to.
Hello dear! For now I won’t advice a divorce cos it’s not like he cheats or beats you! What you need is therapy to work on your mood swing n medically I don’t think there is anything wrong with you n the mood thing might just be because of some new hormones that came from child bearing!
Sit him down n talk it out! Discuss how u feeling n make him understand your mood swing n let him discuss how he could be of help n not increase by being abusive!
You need to have a deep discussion with him, let him know how you feel and also how he can help you.
Using derogatory words is a no no for me and I don’t like it. Just be calm with him and let him tell you all what he wants out of the marriage while you do same too. Then you guys can reach a compromise about everything. That way everyone is happy.
I wish you well
Let him know how you feel, just that man will always act as man, someone might be lying or deceiving him out there. Pls everything about marriage is patient. Work on yourself too and be close to God, pray for him like never before, I see u winning in Jesus Name
Hello dear was he abusive before you got married to him? Do you think he would ever change?
Is he the one footing all the bills at home?
What is it that the two of you quarrel most about?
I wish I could hear from the other side of the man to have the complete story but anyways try to ignore him when ever he starts, don’t talk back to him, try to keep your cool and draw closer to God.
Pray fervently to God and invite the Holy spirit into your marriage to take control. Remember that a wise woman builds her home. Selah.
if s*x is not painful to you just get used and change the mood of being when like it. you can have s*x every day so just be in mood every day. tell him u don’t like his words. u can also contact church elders
Y church…. I don’t like the mentality of putting your affairs in people that there om is not settle. Talk to ur husband and settle it with him, shit happens everywhere
Everyone has their opinion…we have to respect it. You do not have to agree but respect it.
Hello,
This is a very sensitive matter. I pray you are very cautious on the type of advise you receive.
Unfortunately,being married does not make one matured. I see an immature man here and you have to be careful how you react otherwise,things can get worse pretty fast.
My advise: put on your emotional intelligence thinking cap.
You need to find a subtle and loving way to communicate with him. He feels hurt by your rejection. The fact that you do not respond to his s*xual advances with the same enthusiasm as his.
So,for now,his ego is bruised. You just need to find a way to rub his ego. Men do not like to be rejected especially if they have waited for so long to get married.
What you need to do is pray. Ask God to give you the right words to say to him. And ask God to turn his heart towards you.
And give him some time to cool off. He is acting like a baby that his biscuit was taken from him. You need to be the bigger person. Let him sulk for a while.
And then,send him a text apologizing . Tell him that you both need to talk cos you love him and do not want to deny him s*x but that there are things you both need to do to have a better s*x life.
For one,your communication needs to improve. Since you do not get turned on as much,you need to get materials on s*x to learn new tricks girl. Then he needs to learn how to connect with you emotionally. Learn foreplay. Learn how to send dirty texts to each other before the deal goes down later on.
Watch romantic movies. Do fun things together. Pray together. Be kind to one another.
Its a phase most marriages go through and its only by patience,emotional intelligence and prayers that many are able to move past this stage.
You got to change your mindset. S.e.x is sweet and legal for married people. Learn to be a s*xy wife. Learn to tune your inner self whenever it needs to go down. No dulling. Get freaky. That is how married people do it.
Above all,when you are both in a good place and he is all lovey dovey,you can suggest counselling for both of you.
You both need to learn how to communicate your s*xual needs to each other and get better with loving each other.
Please be patient. Be smart and be loving to him despite how you feel right now.
All will be well.
Hello dear sorry for what you are going through. Pls you have to calm yourself down and think of your health. Speak to a doctor or a psychologist about your mood changes.(it could be that you are depressed)
Also about the insults,do not pay much attention to them but rather find a very good time that you know he is in a good mood and tell him about his insults and how it makes you feel.This might take time but continue to let him know your feelings
He is either not matured or has a behaviour problem and it is your duty as a wife to help him out of it.you need to be more patient and pray for him.Trust in God He can turn things around for your good
Have a forgiving heart and hold no grudge against him.He is your husband, you love him that is why you married him and he also love you that is why he married you
Think of the love you both shared before and fight for your love
Pls don’t deny him of s*x just try your best for him
Believe me you can make the marriage work that is why God brought you two together
You are a strong woman and you can do this by the grace of God
Enjoy your marriage
I see you are hurtm try to add value to yourself and communicate more often with him