In 2012, while pregnant with her second child, Ashley Greene learned that her friend was acting as a surrogate for a family. Recognizing the difference her friend was making in someone else’s life, Green was inspired.
Today, Greene, 38, from Iowa, has three biological children of her own and has delivered four surrogate children — or surro babies, as she calls them — including a set of twins. She has no plans to stop.
“If my pregnancies are going well, and if I don’t have any issues, why wouldn’t I give the gift of life to someone else?” she told Insider.
READ: US-based Couple Accuses Nigerian Surrogate Mother Of Absconding With Twins (pic)
Surrogacies are different from other pregnancies
Greene and her husband, Chris, knew they were done having their own kids after their third child turned 4. In the past 11 years, she has been pregnant a total of six times; according to Greene, the emotional and physical toll of being pregnant as a surrogate differs from one’s own pregnancy. She even said she didn’t experience the same symptoms, like morning sickness, when pregnant with her surro babies.
“I still felt big and huge and uncomfortable, but the experience was different for me mentally knowing that I don’t keep the baby in the end,” she said. “There was a sense of relief knowing that the parents would love this baby.”
In accordance with the American Society for Reproductive Medicine’s guidelines, anyone looking to become a professional surrogate must be finished having their own biological children, be between 21 and 42 years old, have a healthy body-mass index, be financial stability, and go through a thorough background check and identity verification, among other requirements, before going down this route.
Greene’s husband was supportive of the process
While discussing with her medical providers whether this was a safe choice, Greene had to ensure her husband supported her decision. Though he had initial reservations, he became comfortable after he understood that gestational surrogacy meant that there’s no DNA relation to his family. He also warmed up to the idea after seeing Greene’s first set of intended parents express their happiness and gratitude when they met.
To ease the rest of their family into this, the couple explained to their biological children that these babies were not their siblings.
“It’s almost like a switch that flips,” she said. “It’s not my baby, and I’m just here for long-term babysitting. My intended parents contain four gay dads and a hetero couple, and I love seeing the joy they feel when I hand them their baby. Chris saw the value in that, too.”
Finding intended parents
Many of the intended parents Greene has worked with have experienced devastating losses or are unable to conceive via alternative methods. She first worked with an agency that created a profile to match her and the intended parents’ preferences. For her next surrogate pregnancy, she decided to survey more profiles before making a selection.
“As a surrogate, you want to help people create, build, or complete their families. How do I know who to pick?” she said.
One of the most important deciding factors for her is the type of relationship the parties wanted once the baby arrives and how to set those boundaries in advance. For instance, her second set of parents — whom she carried twins for — still sends her updates and photos of the twins. On the other hand, her last delivery, on Christmas Eve, was more transactional, and the contact stopped postdelivery.
Though Greene prefers building a relationship with the family and maintaining a sense of an extended family, she wants to normalize that it’s fine to have any form of relationship with the intended parents, as long as everyone is aware of the arrangement.
Being a surrogate has earned Greene supplementary income
According to Greene, the base compensation for a typical surrogacy can range between $45,000 and $60,000 a pregnancy, but there are additional costs such as medication-start fees, injection fees, heartbeat-confirmation fees, and medical-clearance fees. Each journey is individualized, so the exact payment differs. Usually, compensation is broken down into equal payments throughout the pregnancy (for example, every four weeks), and Greene recommends not agreeing to “lump sums” at the end of pregnancies because delivery is never guaranteed.
“The base compensation a surrogate receives is to offset discomfort,” she said. “If a surrogate receives an embryo transfer, and there is a heartbeat, and then four weeks later loses the baby, they will receive a prorated payment for that time.”
Greene has no plans to stop anytime soon, as long as her medical provider is on board.
“I am willing to be a surrogate until someone tells me I can’t,” she said. “This is my passion, and I will continue helping people create beautiful families for as long as possible.”
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