My husband donated his sperm for IVF without my consent!! We have been married for 8 years with 5 children, 2 boys and 3 girls. His best friend has been married for 3 years without kids.
The wife is my friend. My husband was given One (1)million Naira for his sperm to be donated to my friend, the wife to my husband’s best friend. I was never told about this. Her pregnancy was announced around October 2017.
I was so happy for her, she never disclosed anything to me let alone how she went for IVF procedure. She gave birth to 2 daugthers in August, 2018. They threw a party and painted the town red.
In mid-November 2018, the kids just turned 3 months when one of the babies fell from the rocking chair in their sitting room.
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She was bleeding, so they took her to the hospital, only to discover that she was SS, they later took the other one there for the test and she is AS. They called my husband 2 weeks ago at 2 am early morning on that day to come to the hospital, he wanted to go alone, I said I will come with him as I was also very worried for the baby.
The first thing that shocked me, was that the baby so much looked like my daughters at that age. She has the big eyes of my husband and my 5 kids. My husband was told to donate blood as he has O negative like the child.
He is the only one to give blood to the baby, as she had lost a lot of blood. After 2 hours there, we went home. I could not sleep, I told my husband directly; ” Is there something about your friend’s child you want me to know?’ he said no. I said ok and slept off.
I noticed he was already awake and left home for work too early. I quickly dressed up and went to the hospital to see the wife. Only to see my husband there with them. I asked them straight if it was my husband that donated his sperm for the IVF? Because my husband is AS genotype like his wife unknowingly, while I am AA like her husband. My husband knew but wanted the One (1) Million Naira.
They did not bother to find out. She told me she wanted to tell me when they were all planning it last year, it was my husband that kicked against it, that I will never agree to the plan. I called his family and my uncle only, as I do not have parents. I told them that I can only remain in this marriage if the 2 daughters of his best friend is given back to me.
They are my husband’s kids and mine as well, or they MUST pay me 2 million Naira, or I will quit my marriage. My husband is a cow. The twins are too beautiful like my husband for me to leave them with that family. My last child is lonely and needs a little one to play with. I know i sound a bit crazy, l’ am sorry i can not think straight anymore. This is just too much for me to handle.
I need advise on what to do next. Thanks
— Anonymous (NairaLand)
My dear, since they don’t have any children of their own, can you please let them keep them?
If you want them to play with your kids, that’s fine.
But claiming those kids forcefully might make you look selfish! Although your husband didn’t do well by not telling you, you can deal with him differently. But as a woman, try to put yourself in the other woman’s shoes.
I don’t understand you Ma…You mean they should give you the children,for what if I may ask?
Your husband is to be blamed for keeping such secret from you… You can’t even fight this legally cause I know your husband must have signed some papers while all these was happening… You don’t have a say on those children… Whatsoever you are going to do should be within the box(your husband and you)…leave the other family out of it so that you won’t regret this later..
Your husband kept this away from you not his friend so let him explain(he’s a selfish man)..
Am even short of words madam… Please don’t be heartless. Leave the couple and the kids alone.
If you want more children, let your husband get you pregnant.
In the beginning i felt for you. Your husband was wrong to do that and more so because of money but getting to the end i saw you as a selfish person. Don’t let your selfish interest cause you to do whatever you have planned to do.
CHILD birth is a GIFT of God to Mankind so appreciate what you have and let them appreciate theirs. Putting sperm in a woman doesn’t quarantee her giving birth. Like i said… its a gift of God to mankind..hence it’s God’s gift to that family.
learn to forgive, repay errors made with kindness and be content with what you have