How I Watched My Husband Crumble Our Marriage-Husband Responds (I Was Only Trying To Help
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Dear ma,
This is my own side of the issue. I dated my wife for almost three years and I was faithful to her. I also supported her when she started planning to go abroad for further study. As God will have it, her admission came and we decided we should get married so that she can go ahead and make a way for me to join her later.
I never imagined in my life that I would ever cheat on my wife. I am someone who advocates for loyalty in marriage. I guess when she left in February, I started working late in the office just to avoid going to an empty home.
I missed my wife. I tried to speak to her everyday but I also missed holding her,smelling her skin next to mine. I pleasured myself just to keep my mind off the urge I felt . I was doing good for myself until sometime around May when a colleague of mine started to confide in me her marital problems.
This lady is married to someone who beats her,cheats on her and ignores her emotional needs. I did not ever fancy her as attractive. When she spoke to me, another colleague of mine was sometimes there. We all comforted her and encouraged her to leave to find peace of mind.
Working late one day as usual, I noticed she did not want to leave the office. I probed and probed before she finally told me that her husband threw her out of the house and warned that any family member that took her in will pay for it.
So her plan was to sleep in the office toll she could sort herself. I asked her if she had no friend…she said only one friend and that the lady just relocated to Benin. I felt so sorry for her. That was when I offered her my place as a temporary place. I thought my wife would have done the same.
She followed me home and stayed in my guest room. She stayed in my place from May to July before we made a mistake. That day was a Saturday. She had gone to try to speak with her husband but he ended up beating her so bad that she was lucky to get away from him.
I was furious and at the same time thought we were more like friends now, so I hugged her to comfort her and one thing led to another and we made love. I am very ashamed to say this but it was a big mistake. We both felt so bad after doing it. But she told me not to feel bad cos it was her own way of helping me fill the absence of my wife.
That sounded not right…but I told myself I was only passing time. I knew it was cheating but I could not resist this lady every day after a stressful day at work. The chemistry was strong. I felt guilty after each time. I have no excuse..it was very poor judgement on my part.
I was weak…I was drawn by my lust. I would try to resist her for days but ended up back in her bed…and that is how my wife discovered my foolishness. I did not know my wife was still on the zoom call…my network went bad and I thought we were both off the call. Immediately, this lady came to me and we made love.
My wife saw everything…I later found out and my heart was like someone put a dagger through my heart. To tell you how bad I have been…I have even stopped going to work. This lady has moved out of my place to her village since no one wants to accommodate her.
This lady has also tried to beg my wife…begging her not to blame me …that I am a good man..that she was at fault …that I was only trying to help but loneliness and pain drove both of us to sin against her. But my wife is so hurt and rightly so.
I am only begging her to give me another chance. I know she has no reason to trust me anymore. I only feel like this mistake would have been avoided if my wife did not leave me to study shortly after our wedding. But I only wanted to support her ambitions…did I do wrong for encouraging her to travel and pursue her dreams?
Many would say her absence was no reason to misbehave….agreed but I was lonely and weak and I was only trying to comfort someone was going through a lot. All these reasons make no sense I know but that is all I have to say.
Please help me beg my wife. I love her more than anything in the world. I know I betrayed her trust…but I am willing to do whatever it takes to restore my marriage. Anything…please advise me..advise us…please beg her for me…
I am begging…tell me what to do…I will do it…
Thank you ma
Anonymous Post
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Maybe you should have told your wife about your female colleague’s situation and carried your wife along from the onset. It takes grace for a married man who has not had S.e.x in months to handle such a compromising situation ( even a married woman would have been tempted if the reverse was the case).
The deed has been done. It is time to mend the broken hearts. That can only be done through love and patience. If she said you both need counselling sessions then agree to it.
You have to be patient with her. It will take a while but it is not impossible because your wife still loves you. Dwell on that love and also try to travel over to see her. Apply for a visiting Visa to travel (you can look for a relative or friend over there to help you get a visiting letter), it is possible for you to travel.
Finally forgive yourself and stop living in pity . yes you made a mistake but pick your life back. Women like strong men who can face adversities and rise up. Get back to work and be the best of yourself.
Also pray for your family. Life is spiritual. Don’t leave things to chance. Pray for restoration and peace in your home. Ask God to direct and guide you and I know God will definitely help you.
God bless you.
It’s good we’ve heard from the other side; this makes your wife’s post valid. She has every reason to be hurt a feel disappointed and cheated on.
However all your wife needs now is sometime for herself to process and think through all this. That should be your major concern foremost. Don’t try to *rush* her to forgive you. That woman still loves you.
I won’t judge you but you only got selfish here, did you inform you wife you were hosting another woman in your home? I bet she’d have come up with a better way of handling this had you involved her.
Continue to show your remorse and try to understand her in this difficult time of hers, remain open and truthful to her, even in her absence.
I pray you both find a common grounds to make your beautiful young marriage work once again.
Shalom❤️It’s good we’ve heard from the other side; this makes your wife’s post valid. She has every reason to be hurt a feel disappointed and cheated on.
However all your wife needs now is sometime for herself to process and think through all this. That should be your major concern foremost. Don’t try to *rush* her to forgive you. That woman still loves you.
I won’t judge you but you only got selfish here, did you inform you wife you were hosting another woman in your home? I bet she’d have come up with a better way of handling this had you involved her.
Continue to show your remorse and try to understand her in this difficult time of hers, remain open and truthful to her, even in her absence.
I pray you both find a common grounds to make your beautiful young marriage work once again.
Shalom❤️
You accepting the woman in the first place is a no no to me. You shouldn’t have done that at all. You don’t place a fish before a rat and expect it not to eat it, even if it is poisoned. You don’t like someone more than yourself.
You are giving reasons for your infidelity, does that show true repentance?
You have no reason whatsoever for what you did.
You have to keep begging her to forgive you.
You are only sorry u got caught.The numerous times u guys had S.e.x didn’t u even think one day ur wife was going to find out.If the zoom call didn’t expose u, this sinful act will still continue until the lady gets pregnant.
Well.give ur wife time.With time she will forgive and come around.And start going back to work.U need to.occupy ur mind with work
With time.everything will be settled
Hello,
You were drawn by your own lust.The excuse you have given is not acceptable for anyone who took an oat to remain committed to one person for the rest of their lives.
You were drawn to invite a married woman into your home…you could have paid for a hotel accommodation for her…or even let her go back to her village earlier
Hello,
You were drawn by your own lust.The excuse you have given is not acceptable for anyone who took an oat to remain committed to one person for the rest of their lives.
You were drawn to invite a married woman into your home…you could have paid for a hotel accommodation for her…or even let her go back to her village earlier
What you both need now is to find a marriage therapy project that can help you begin to find forgiveness and build trust again…this will take some time…but if your wife is willing…you will both be fine eventually.
You need to do whatever it takes to prove to your wife that your marriage is worth saving….invest time in praying and let God heal both of you ….
Tell each other everything….resist all forms of temptation and spend time assuring her of your total commitment to your marriage.
Commit all to God in prayers and keep wooing your wife back. I hope it works out for you both…
All the best.