My Husband’s Family Is Driving Me Crazy-Is Divorce The Only Way?
Good afternoon house,
My story is long but I will be quick about it. My name is Lilly(not real name). I got married 6 years ago to the love of my life. My husband Mike was a gentle,loving and caring husband. Being the only son of his mother (he has 4 sisters), his mother treated him like egg but we had no issues whatsoever with her.
I learned to adore my husband cos he also adores me. Well, we were got married and I moved into my husband’s two bedroom apartment. Things were ok. We started trying to have a baby. Even his mother was already singing it, that she wants a grand son o cos Mike is her only son.
We started trying actively for six months but no show. Anxiety began to set in, we started going to hospital and it was discovered that Mike had no sperm count. Kai, I almost died of shock. I was ok but what that means, is that Mike cannot produce sperm to make a baby except if he takes medications that could help but the chances were very slim.
We started the treatments immediately. The cost of the treatment is high o. Running into thousands and millions of naira. Once we got small sperm after like a year, we quickly tried IVF but the sperm was weak and it could not stay. I wasted money for the tests and IVF cos Mike became miserable and gave up hope.
I was the one always pushing him, spending money up and down. This has been what we do every year, spending money yet nothing comes out of it. Two years ago, I could no longer continue cos I was broke from spending money on Mike’s treatments and failed IVF. Mike’s mother kept disturbing me until I had to tell her the truth that her son was the cause.
This woman started crying ,saying people are after her son. She went from prayer house to prayer house. Mike was following her until he too got tired. Then mama, told me one prophet was going to pray for us but I would need to sleep in church for 21 days. That after 21 days, I will take in once I meet with my husband.
Of course, I did not like the idea but I also believe in miracles. I went and got into the prayers and even fasting for 21 days. One of the things we do during the fasting was that at midnight, the prophet will take someone to the mountain to anoint them. When It was my turn to go to midnight mountain, the prophet asked me to take off my clothes. I did.
Next thing, he asked me to lie down and open my legs cos he wants to anoint my vagina. I did. The next thing, I felt a big manhood inside me. What!!!…I jumped up and said no way. So, this is how the man has been miraculously giving people babies? By sleeping with them?
The prophet started saying that its the same way Jesus was conceived. That women who’s husband cannot impregnant them must be impregnanted by the hly spirit through the prophet. Well, I did not sign up for this. I was not even sure my mother inlaw did not set me up. I left the next day. Mama was upset and called me selfish names. I told my husband what happened, he did not even say anything.
From that day, mama and her daughters turned against me. They stopped talking to me. Saying I do not want to cover my husband’s shame. Eventually, I told my husband, lets get anonymous sperm donor if his family does not mind me getting pregnant by another man. I would never get pregnant by that prophet who,only God knows how many children he has fathered by this method.
My husband agreed. But we also needed money for IVF, so we started to save for sperm donation and IVF cos we were both broke. In that process, mama passed on. My husband was devastated cos his mother died without him giving her a child. After the burial, my husband’s family had a meeting that his elder sister that has two children for different men, but has been staying with mama should come and live with us.
I disagreed cos that girl, Henrietta is a trouble maker. That is why she has two children from two different men. She does not even answer me when I greet her. How do I house an adult with two children in my own home? We can barely sustain ourselves, how do I accommodate this additional cost? My husband’s earnings is nothing to write home about.
So because I disagreed on this matter, my husband said he is tired. That since marrying me, he is not happy. That I dont like his family and his family does not like me. That since we do not even have children, maybe we should separate.
This really hurt me because I have spent time and money in this marriage yet this is how my husband wants to repay me. I never knew he would ever utter such word like divorce but I am suspecting they want to push me out so they can bring someone that they can bend to do their biddings.
Please advice me. What should I do? Should I beg my husband and allow his sister plus her children stay with us or should I agree to end the marriage? I do not feel happy anymore. I am tired of trying too cos I am even not the cause of the childlessness. Please advice me everyone.
Anonymous
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Well, sorry for all uve gone through ok. You have really did well to stand by your husband throughout this time. And since has not appreciated your effort but want u to gone, its cool ok. Some goodbyes are golden. Despite u have spent alot of money and the time involved, just overlook that and start new.
Please, don’t beg him to stay or else prepare for the worst cases ahead.
Madam, you have tried for that family, and God in Heaven has seen that your heart is pure.
Now, since it has happened like this, he is saying that he wants a divorce for all the time, money, energy you have put into that marriage, kindly grant him his desires and move on.
As it stands now, there is nothing to hold on to that marriage again, no child, and he is the cause of your childlessness. Pls leave and start your life anew. It’s not easy, yes but you have to move and get fresh air outside to breathe again.
God will compensate you for your effort.
Kindly move on with your life. He cannot get you pregnant and he won’t give you peace. Let him marry his family. You will compound your problem the more if you allow that.
My Dear sister, please move on with your life. you ll be shocked how God ll give you beauty for these ashes you have seen in the marriage. i know of a sister with similar story in my growing up days. Even the sister in law who stayed with them (unmarried) used to beat her. After suffering all manner of abuses , financial draining and childlessness from the husband and his family for close to 10 years, she summoned courage and moved on.
It was then she found someone that loved and respected her after 2 years. and guess what, she was well compensated by God and had four children in the new marriage. she who was called barren!
You have tried please. receive grace to do the needful and stick to the choice. God will be with you. amen.