True Life Story: Can Another Man Buy Valentine Gifts For Your Wife?
Good day Lively Stones,
The day after valentine, I was cleaning up our room and saw a strange package. It was folded neatly. I opened it and saw it was a valentine’s day card, teddy bear and a pack of S**y lingerie. I was wondering how this got to our room. I had to wait till my wife got out of the shower to ask her who had those things.
When she got out, I asked her. My wife just laughed and said, they did exchange of gifts in their office on valentine’s day. And one of her colleagues that she follows home sometimes from the island was the one that picked her for gift exchange …and so, he was the one that bought her those items.
First of all, I did not buy my wife valentine gifts cos I don’t believe only one day should be valentine, I try to appreciate my wife when I can, not on February 14th. So for her to receive a gift from another man really baffled me. I asked her if she chose anyone in her office to gift and she said yes. I asked her what she bought for the person, she said she bought a book. So, all these happened in my wife’s office and she did not tell me.
I told her that a man that picked her as office val and got her card, teddy and lingerie is out of line and so she must return it. My wife said its just an office thing and that I should not think too much about it. To me, I cannot accept that…why will a man buy my wife undies? What is the meaning of that. My wife said its because I am feeling guilty for not buying her gift that I am getting worked up on the gift another man got her.
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My wife is laughing about this but I am serious. I told her to take this back to her colleague and tell him she cannot accept it. She said if she takes it back, the man might feel somehow….and she does not want to make him start looking at her suspiciously cos he helps give her a ride from work sometimes. I asked what will the man’s wife think and she said, the man bought the items from his wife who has a boutique.
Hian….that kind of thing really got me wondering…which kind of wife will get underwear for her husband to gift another woman….all in the name of innocent office valentine? Well, I think the man is lying about how he got the items or him and his wife are up to no good. I then told my wife that not only will she return the gift, she must stop joining the man in his car home. My wife is still laughing thinking I am not serious but I am dead serious.
My wife is saying I should trust her that the man means no harm, if not…she would not have brought the gift home but my wife does not know that us men are like hunters….now he is gifting her such things…he may just be starting to seduce her and my wife is calling it innocent. Even now, I am afraid that this man is giving my wife rides…even though she is not the only one he gives rides but I am feeling pressured now to get my wife a car cos I am worried about this man.
Abi my people….how una see this matter? Am I over reacting? Am I old school or is this not a serious red flag? Please you people should chuk mouth into this matter.
Anonymous
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From the way you found it (even a day after and it’s still unpacked) and from her reply ( you are feeling guilty because you didn’t buy her a val gift) I’m thinking your wife may have arranged that package and placed it where you’ll see it as a message to make you feel bad for not taking any thought into giving her a val and letting you know that she loves getting val gift.
It’s just an opinion, I may be wrong but I seriously doubt it’s actually from a colleague that wants something with her otherwise it would have beend well hidden and you wouldn’t even see everything still placed in one place.
Oga no matter how may times you buy her random gift, valentine is significant, just buy her anything for the sake of it. Plan an outing with her, she’ll be so focused planning on what to do, what to wear that she’ll barely be able to focus on anyone else that day. You’ll have her for val. Instead of acting like val means nothing to you and expecting her to also act like it means nothing to her.
But if really a colleague got it for her then lingerie is out of line and she needs to return it.
You are not overreacting, it is an inappropriate gift. I think she should return it. Since the man got it from his wife’s boutique, he can as well pick up something else for your wife. If you can afford it, please buy her a car.
Dear poster, how long have you been married to your wife? To those married in the house this is the reason communication is important in every relationship. Back to my dear poster, if both of you had been communicating about every details about how your day went, you would know her colleagues do exchange of gift on valentine’s day. Now back to your wife. I want to believe you know your wife better than us so am trying to understand her. Your wife is innocent about the gift but she’s suppose to know as a married woman, even aside being married, I see no reason why a lady would accept such gift from just any kind of person. As long as there’s no relationship between the two there’s no reason getting such gift. It obviously means the man desire to them on the person. lingerie should be thrown away or returned back immediately. For a married man to get lingerie to another woman other than his wife means he has motive. For him to buy lingerie means he had imagined her putting it on. It is now left for her to let him understand he’s crossing the line.I get it that she accepts it’s a gift but feeling so comfortable with it is what I don’t seem to understand. The story the man gave about where he bought them from doesn’t make sense, your wife believing the man also doesn’t add up. It’s logical. You really should take it serious please. she needs to stop following the man, for her to accept that gift other things o follow. There are so many gift in the world why would he choose lingerie of all gift?got me thinking what they always talk about for him to get a lingerie. Like I said you know her better than me. Why would she mention you feeling guilty seeing the gift because you never got her one? Just thinking out loud. Did she bring it home to make you feel jealous? She needs to either return them or throw them away and also stop following him it’s a must. my thoughts.
I understand your feeling but it’s a gift which she didn’t suggest to the man what to get for her.
Your wife should let the man know that she isn’t comfortable with the gift because he could as well pick another item from his wife’s boutique.
But, you don’t have to insist that she can’t receive gifts cos you didn’t get her any. That’s not proper.
She has the right to receive gift from anyone especially based on it was an office exchange of gift.
If she sees nothing wrong in the gift, just inform her about your concern.
I feel the gift could be disposed not retuning it. What she needs to do is correct that man.
I will suggest you stick to trusting your wife. Trust her on this and let this slide.
If you wish to get her a car, do so because your wife needs it not because you don’t want her colleague to give her a ride. They work at the same office, riding together or not, they will see everyday.
Keep your home sweet and don’t let doubt and suspicion gain root.
All the best.
You are old school and just afraid for nothing. Your wife has been following her male colleague in his car before valentine,why didn’t you stop her then? So because he gave her those stuffs, that’s why you are feeling paranoid.
Trust can only answer this your question,do you trust your wife enough? If you don’t,that means there is an issue but if you do,no cause for alarm. Peace