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True Life Story: We Broke Up Because Of Our Genotype Yet Fate Keeps Punishing Us


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True Life Story: We Broke Up Because Of Our Genotype Yet Fate Keeps Punishing Us

Dear Lively Stones,

I have a story on genotype. Please before you claim genotype, please do your test very very well…..Ade was the love of my life. I never been so much in love…a guy who worshipped me with love…he was everything. We dated for eight months and spent everyday with each other. My parents loved him and could not ask for a better future son in-law. We were both looking forward to a future today until one day my dad asked Ade what his genotype was. Ade did not know so my dad asked him to go do it. After testing, it turned out that Ade is AS and I am also AS.

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That was the beginning of the end. My parents who are both lecturers in school of medicine advised us to break up cos there was no future being married to someone who has the sickle cell gene. It was rough but my father pushed Ade away, he warned him not to make his only daughter a sad woman. You see, I am an only child. My parents lost 2 children to the sickle cell. Before that, my mom has several miscarriages, my survival was nothing short of a miracle.

So even though it crushed us, me and Ade broke up. I moved on to Study in the US, I met and got married to my husband who has the good gene, AA…we have a son. Three years later, we got divorced due to infidelity from my husband. It was quite a painful one because he slept with several women, too much for me to bear. I decided to move back home and start afresh. But starting afresh has not been easy cos I think I still have trust issues for men. So, have dated casually here and there but nothing really serious.

I started trying online dating and I searched Ade online. I saw that he was married and decided to stay away from him until he sent me a friend request months back. I accepted and we got talking. He was very empathetic that I was divorced. He started trying to hook me up with some of his friends, Ted, one of his friends and I started dating.

Ted, is Ade’s business partner, a nice guy…we been going strong and got engaged. But then the strangest thing happened…. Ade was involved in a minor accident recently and he was required to run some tests. During the test, they discovered he was actually AA and not AS. He refused to believe it so he ran the test in 3 other labs. It turns out that Ade was actually given a wrong genotype many years ago….he is actually AA. This revelations came with mixed feelings cos we realize now that wrong diagnosis have changed our lives forever.

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The day Ade came to my place to tell me the news….I curled up on the floor and began to cry. Like….I wailed for almost 20mins. Ade too cried….like we were both robbed of ever being together. Now, he has a wife and children….it was a vulnerable moment….we ended up sleeping with each other. And we both felt bad to be cheating on our partners. My feelings for Ade is all back and stronger. The same for him. We don’t know what to do about it.

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And yes, I am planning my wedding with Ted but all my thoughts and feelings are with Ade. How do I marry Ted after sleeping with his friend…same friend who introduced us? Why is this life so unfair? How do I marry Ted when I am in love with Ade? This is not fair…not fair…..please advise me….or is this a sign that Ade and I may have been given a second chance or how else can anyone explain what is happening right now? How do I get Ade out of my head when the only obstacle in our way just cleared away?


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Ade belongs in your past and should remain there. It seems you struggle to maintain platonic relationships, so it’s best to let him go and focus on your new relationship. Fate hasn’t destined the two of you to be together; otherwise, you would have conducted additional Genotype tests rather than relying solely on one. I’ve learned a valuable lesson from you today. Even if any of my tests show negative results, I should conduct another to confirm. Wishing you all the best with Ted. Please don’t break his heart; he’s innocent and doesn’t deserve to be treated unfairly. Also, consider the consequences of interfering with Ade’s marriage. He’ s worshipping another woman now. Recall that, he possibly hadn’t been looking for you; you searched for him. He’s moved on and dropped your case. If you’re serious about moving forward, you and Ade should end any romantic involvement and escapades. You can still be close friends without intimacy, if you both make intentional effort.

  2. Dear poster,this got me so emotional,so so emotional….
    Kai! This is so heartbreaking, realizing that your Ade wasn’t an AS person but AA…. He should have ran the test in other places probably he was given another person’s result as at that time….

    Here is the advice you seek dear poster, it’s better you put a hold on your wedding to Ted and clear your head first,you can’t be cheating in marriage ooo,the same reason you left your ex husband,so don’t even start because Ted will find out and it will cause serious issues between him and Ade,so be warned and watch it .

    It’s either you marry Ted and stay faithful or you cancel the wedding and become a side chick or second wife to Ade because I can see you truly love that your Ade,the ball is in your court nne


  3. Hello aunty tough as the situation is….you have to let go see he has a family and you are about starting. Think of it this if you had become married and ade died will you stay unmarried bcos you love him?
    No allow ted be your man…..allow yourself experience love allow ades wife and children experience love….enjoy a future which God had designed for you

  4. Dear Poster!

    Love is an emotion. Every emotion must be subjected to reasoning.

    You must stand on the point of your values and personality where emotions seems to be high.

    That you saw a fine rich guy that is a ritualist who you loved requires reasoning not emotions.

    Here, you left your marriage because your partner cheated, why do you think cheating with Ade is different?

    It doesn’t matter what you feel, your feeling are subject to your reasoning and control.

    Ade is married and have kids. Does the wife deserve this hurtful relationship you and Ade are about to begin? Is this the best place you will proud to be in a man’s life?

    Fate showed you the mistake you both made alongside your parents for not confirming the test in another lab.

    Ted is here,ensure you run the test more than twice so you don’t have a repeat of what happened to your parents in your life.

    Your experience is a lesson for others.

    You weren’t praying and maybe didn’t get the signal cos emotions were leading you then. Overwhelmed by love , expectations and hurt of the results.

    Act smarter. Be wiser.

    Either you love Ted because God brought him to console you or you stay away from both men.

    Don’t encourage that feeling and thoughts in your head.

    Fate didn’t bring you two together to hurt others. If Are was single, than would have been a sweet one but he is taken.

    Tame your burning desires and lust. You can gradually kill the feelings by seeing more good sides of Ted and devoting all to him.

    You cheated, fine. Let it slide. Don’t continue.

    Forgive yourself and be faithful to the one in your life now.

    All.the best.

  5. Do not marry Ted, because you will cheat on him. Let him go. But what will you do? Can you go back to the US with your son because the more you stay in contact with Ade, the likelihood to cheat. Or do you want to be a second wife to Ade that will mean breaking his home and hurting an innocent woman. I think you should just move on far away from Ade and Ted. It won’t be easy but if is for the best


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