True Life Story: My Long Distance Relationship Is Facing A Crises-Pls Advice
Dear Lively Stones,
I remain anonymous cos I know there will be people judging me once I share my secret but I am at place where I need to take a very serious decision, alot is at stake so I am confessing because its now or never. Its a long story but let me shorten it. Me and my fiancé have known each other since 2019. We dated off and on until 2022 when he became serious and proposed to me. One thing is, we both have different temperaments but we love each other so much.
Personally, I am an extrovert, I love to play and be the life of the place, where ever I find myself. My fiancé is my opposite, he is calm and does not like to mingle. This makes him always upset when he sees me always making friends or talking to other people. He accused me of cheating one time just cos I was being friendly with a guy. This made him to propose to me when he knew he was going abroad for a two years masters program.
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I joyfully accepted the proposal but I knew he just wanted to tie me down. As friends, I did not mind… like an assurance that we are solid. Marriage introduction was also done. So, the plan now was, we will get married after a year, when he finds his foot in UK. However, ever since he travelled to UK, its been one argument to another. When he calls, if I dont pick, he gets suspicious and we fight…alot…after like one or two days of silent treatment, we make up again.
Then I noticed he stopped calling after a while. I was worried…when I ask him..he says he is busy with school or work. Unfortunately for me, I started listening to some of my friends who tried to convince me that he was probably seeing someone else over there. I accused him of cheating and he did not deny it…he did not even address it. That really hurt me that he was giving me cold treatment for almost a month.
In my rage and fit of anger….I slept with someone, it was just a mistake…a random one. I don’t even know the guy from anywhere. This is the first time I would ever cheat on someone I love…We met in a mall, went to a hotel and that was it. What I did not know was that my fiancé actually asked his younger brother to spy on me, to follow me everywhere I was going. This stupid boy came and told me he saw me going into a hotel with a guy and we stayed there for almost five hours. I tried to lie but the boy refused to listen. He said he was going to tell his brother except I agree to give him N100k every month.
At first, I agreed but as I thought about it more…that what if this guy takes my 100k and still tells his brother…I mean…they are brother right,….there is no guarantee. So I need advice….should I just break off this relationship? I am no longer happy ..for the past one month, we have barely spoken to each other in this relationship. And if his brother tells him about me, its as good as over….so why wait till that time…maybe I should just end this relationship? Or can I take my chances with the boy not telling?
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I don’t think this long distance relationship will work out for us….on the other hand, cani deny this? Its not like the boy has photos or video evidence, what if I deny and tell my fiancé his brother is lying…it was a one time mistake, it will never happen again. ..it will be a case of his word against mine right? What do you think I should do?
Anonymous
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Dear poster,you need to grow up and be matured, you’re engaged to be married and you slept with a random guy you met at the mall,haba! Wetin dey sup with you na
You didn’t even fear for your life, disease or infection. Anyways,you guys are not compatible,you have always being quarrelling and now you have succeeded in allowing his brother see you with a man in a hotel,so what more can you say? How do you want to deny or defend this act of yours towards your fiance?
He cheated over there,did you see him? Did you catch him? Where is your evidence?
You have been caught by his brother so end the relationship,no need to push,just end it and return his ring.
Kindly end it and have peace,if you eventually marry him,what about his brother? How do you face him in the family? Hummmm,the choice is yours my dear
Good luck
No advice can save someone from facing the things that await them. Especially things they are responsible for If you know that you messed up and are 100-percent sure it was an isolated incident that your partner would never find out about, and it would be too much for them to handle or they wouldn’t want to know, then it might be best not to tell him If you want to tell your partner to relieve some guilt, or if you cheated because of an issue in the relationship and you want to move forward together, then you must have a conversation about it. Otherwise, a slip-up is bound to happen again because your needs aren’t being met by your partner (who may not even know you’re unhappy).Your partner may want nothing to do with you after they know about your cheating (fair), but that could be a sign that that relationship wasn’t meant to last or lead to marriage anyway as for his brother trying to blackmail you the thing is this You may be tempted to just give the what he wants so he’ll go away. Unfortunately, that rarely works Giving money to a blackmailer or doing special favors for them will only make them ask for more in future. Trust me, blackmailers will always come back for more if you pay up, so ignore their requests.
I wish you best the best in whatever path you take I hope you find happiness and peace of mind again
In as much as I don’t want to judge you, but how could you have slept with a random guy you met same day? You didn’t even fear for your life? He could be a yahoo boy who wanted to use you for rituals. Na wah ooo. With all that is happening, you can still be so careless?.
You were caught by his BROTHER. It’s same as being caught by his family, if you ask me.
You can never have a free mind in that family. The guilt of what you did will always haunt you in the eyes of the brother.
And your fiancé? You both no longer get along like before. The relationship is already strained, almost to its limit.
He barely or no longer calls, for someone in a distant land?
You better end that relationship. A lot of odds are against it already.
End it and move on.