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Part 2
So I thought I could pretend I did not know I was pregnant. Every day,I lived in guilt and fear of been found out. My husband was super sweet to me. All was well until I began to have morning sickness. I started throwing up and spitting. I was not prepared for this. I thought it would take a little while.
In any case,I was too sick to hide it so I had to go to the hospital. The hospital confirmed what I already knew a month ago. I was pregnant. Baby was already 12 weeks…I was over the moon but scared. So, I went home and pretended to be breaking the news to my husband. He was over joyed. Swept me off the floor,did a dance…he shouted and screamed…he called everyone..he was ecstatic.
That night,as we lay in bed,he was quiet after a while. He then turned to me and dropped the bomb: he said,sweetheart,do not take it the wrong way…did you use protection when you slept with that dude three months ago? My whole being shook.
I looked at his eyes…searching and wondering…seeing the fear…the doubt…I too was shaking…I could not throw away the hope and joy he had exhibited when I told him I was pregnant. I had to lie. I had to lie for his own sake. For his own safety…for his peace of mind…for our happiness.
I lied and told him,yes baby…the guy used condom. I do not know if he believed me but he heaved a sign of relief and said: baby…can we still adopt even if we have our own baby? I said there was no need to adopt…he said,we already started the process,so a baby was already waiting for us.
In my mind,how will we adopt a baby and have ours at the same time. So, I told him we could adopt after a year. My husband was quiet. He then said: honey,if you had slept with that guy without protection and gotten pregnant,I would accept the child as mine.
To be honest,I was not expecting to hear this from his mouth…was he testing me…suspecting I did not tell him the truth..where was this conversation going? I told him: we used protection.
Then,another bombshell…he said:what if I told you,I did not use protection when I cheated? I was like…what do you mean?…and he goes..what if I fathered a child during my indiscretion? I held my hand over my mouth….after a few moments,I asked the dreaded question…did you father a child with another woman?
He looked at me and said yes!…I screamed nooooooooooo….this could not be happening…so its possible that my husband can father a child…he already did with another woman…so that means he could be the father of my won child? A million questions going through my brain all at once,my brain wanted to split.
I began to cry. I wanted to tell him the truth. That I did not use protection…but that would show that I was willing to lie to him after everything. I also thought…what if he was truly testing me? No…I decided to keep slips sealed. If this child I am carrying turns out to be his…its all good….if not…its still all good…after all,we were planning to adopt a complete stranger’s baby.
What hit me was the fact that my husband was having a baby by another woman that is not me. Why…why God…why did you decide to punish me? We both erred but I feel like I was getting punished more for my sins. The lady pregnant for my husband is almost due…
Why is my world crumbling…how do I accept that baby….a constant reminder of my husband’s betrayal….for my pregnancy..there is a chance my husband is the father…but for that baby…who knows…what if the lady is lying to him…I am just so confused and upset.
There are days I feel like spilling the truth but I fear if I do…things might get worse…I feel pained by my husband’s bastard baby…I have not given him a response since…he has been begging me. If only he knew how bad things are…how do we even begin to repair this marriage…I never dreamed this would happen to me…
Where do we go from here….I am tired confused and upset..please advise me.
Anonymous Lively Stones Facebook Fan
Photo Credit:Bestlifeonline
Hello madam,
Just tell your husband the truth…I’m very sure he will accept you even if the baby is not for him.
The baby your husband think he’s having with the other lady might not be for him.
Regards.
This issue tie wrapper o, first off, I think you should tell him the truth, secondly your marriage needs God. You both need to see a counselor.
First I envy you, for telling ur husband abt s*x tin,u are a strong woman.nd am sure God has forgiven u, sometime gud tin come out of bad tin maybe ur husband spem is weak Nd a booster befor it work,bt u need to let it go enjoy d motherhood experience,be HAPPY u need it 7year hummmmmm this is ReMiLEkUN
I feel sorry for you and what you are going through in your marriage. Though these are consequences of your infedelities, you just have to be strong and make sure you come clean.
Come clean in the sense that, tell your husband the truth. If you keep holding the truth from him, your mind will never be free. What will your conscience be telling you while praying to God for forgiveness when you know you are yet to tell your husband the truth of the matter?
So my dear, you will never be free in the spirit and secrecy only make things worse, it doesn’t solve problem.
Tell your husband the truth, I’m sure he will accept the child if it is his own or not, since he is about to have one too, outside wedlock.
If he doesn’t agree to father the child, then take care of your child by yourself and be strong. Don’t let any harm come to him.
May God help you both. It is well with you !!!
hello madam,
This is a mess. And from all you have revealed,it appears there is more than meets the eyes?
Like why did your husband not reveal his infidelity until you revealed yours? He may not have told you everything….he cheated long before you did…a lady is pregnant for him?
Who is the lady? Why is he going ahead to adopt when he has accepted your indiscretion and not care if the baby is his or not…why tell you then he has a baby on the way with another woman?
This is alot to stomach for anyone. Both of you share in the blame equally….things went out of hand …if only you had both sought professional theraphy/counselling when the pressure of child delay was taking a toll on both of you.
As it is…you both now have to go to therapy and speak as honest as both of you can to each other. Its time to lay all the cards on the table. No more secrets.
Its really going to be a painful and tough road…both of you will feel betrayed by each other.
The only important question to ask now is: so after all these scandals and betrayals…do you love each other enough to want to continue being married…do you need time to process this?
At this point,who the real father of your pregnancy does not matter…indiscretion has been the order for both of you…and I would encourage you to find the courage to forgive yourselves…forgive each other…give it time…time heals…
Trust may take a really long to return but you can make it if you fight for your marriage. Give it all that you can and be patient and be forgiving….
May God help and guide you to both find resolution in all of these.
God bless.
Ask God for forgiveness and pray, tell your husband the whole truth and let God intervene in your matter.this is serious issue at hand.
This issue is too deep.The lady need to tell the husband the truth and pray to God.
Please tell him the truth
Tough one. Just tell him and get it out of your heart
what if your husband is the one with the problem and the lady who claimed to be pregnant by him need to.get hold of him ..I will advice you go for a paternity test as it can be done even before the baby’s arrival to.determine whose baby it is. then you can decide what to.do.