Part 1
Good day,
The past 3 months have been the toughest of my life. I have battled within myself on what to do and I have not been able to decide what to do. While the world is going through a very hard time outside,my whole world inside has not been at peace.
My name is Hanna(not real name). I have been married for six almost seven years. My husband was the nicest to me when we were dating. Very romantic and caring. Even when we first got married,he was a sweet heart. I thought to myself: you are the luckiest girl on earth.
After a while,getting pregnant became a problem. I started to worry after the first year. The s*x was good. We are both young and healthy. The tests we carried out showed nothing was wrong with both of us. The pressure of the delay in conception started getting to us by the third year.
My husband loves children. I see the way he is with our friends children,his little nieces and nephews. I saw he was not coping too well with the delay even though he keeps telling me that God will bless us with our own child. We prayed as much as we know how to. Our families too prayed.
But that year 3 was the worst. My husband began to work later than usual. He seemed not to want to come back home. Maybe he was tired of coming to a quiet house. We got married in his 2 bedroom apartment but we moved to a duplex after marriage because we were looking forward to having children immediately.
The house now seems so big and quiet and I think that made him feel bad. I feel bad alot. I cry and also try to have faith in God. But the constant coming back late of my husband made me more frantic. We quarreled more and he would say some hurtful things. He would later apologize but those words never left me.
I felt something was wrong with me. I could not give my husband a child. That was our life from then on. Quarrel and abuse. I used to hate my birthdays cos,the only prayers people said on my birthday was may God do it for you this year. My husband only made love to me when I was ovulating. He felt there was no use when I was not ovulating.
I was so hurt. I did not know who to talk to. I tried to talk to his mother about his late coming home and she said the most hurtful thing,she said: why will he come back home,to what will he come back to,an empty house? At that point,I swore never to talk to her about anything anymore.
Year upon year,I have hopes. My husband and I tried IVF last year but it did not work out yet. He gave up and we continued to make love only during my ovulation. Sometimes,it felt like he was raping me more than even making love to me. Anyways, that was my life until 3 months ago.
I attended a friend’s birthday party at a fancy resort. It was such a beautiful party with the high and mighty in the society. My friend wanted me to come to the party cos she wanted me to have fun away from all the problems I was having. She convinced me to take off my wedding ring and mingle with people.
It felt good. I wanted to escape from my troubles even if it was for one day. We had a really good time. The party went into the night. My husband was not coming home that night so there was no rush. We partied hard. At some point,we did some marijuana. And drinks. And lots of dancing. It felt good to feel so happy and free after a long time.
We were at the VIP session having a blast. There was alot of flirting too. Dare, a guest at the party was stuck on me. I allowed him. He was kissing me and couldn’t wait till we got to his car and had s*x with me. I was not thinking. I was just not thinking. It was a wild night. I convinced myself that I needed that escape.
However,the escape finished and I managed to get home before 5am that day. My husband came in 2 hours later. He did not even notice me. I was wasted. I had unprotected s*x with a stranger and he did not notice.
That day, I was sick to my stomach. I hated him for not loving me anymore and not caring for me. Like,he was clearly drifting away and I had cheated on him and he had no idea. I cried and cried.He asked me if I was sick and then I started to curse him. In my anger,I told him what happened. I wanted to hurt him back the way he was hurting me.
When I told him I had s*x with a stranger,he beat me so hard and we fought like crazy people. I noticed he too was drunk from where ever he spent the night before. After the fight, we both started crying. The weight of the problems came crumbling down on us. My husband also had cheated. We had succeed in hurting each other.
We began to kiss each other and had the most passionate s*x we have ever had in months even years. That pain we felt,we just wanted to love each other again. And hoped for things to change. My husband then suggested that we should adopt. He loves children and we agreed to adopt a child and love that child so much. We wanted to start building our family now.
We told our Lawyer and we started talking to the relevant adoption agencies. All was great,we started talking about baby names,baby nursery,clothes,etc. And then I noticed I was late. In my fright, I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. My life turned upside down. It dawned on me. It was that crazy night with that stranger. …
I am dead….my husband and I have been trying to have a baby for 6 years…not one day have I missed my period. Now,one day s*x with a stranger,and now,I am pregnant. I have been so disturbed since finding out. And so afraid of telling my husband. I do not know what to say,he would agree it was that s*x from that guy that brought about this…
Will he want me to abort this baby? Will he want me to keep it? So far,the only reasonable reason I have come up with is: pretend not to know I am pregnant so he just finds out months later then,I can convince him,he is the one responsible for the pregnancy. He would never connect it to the previous months.
I am so scared and so disturbed by all of these. I am finally pregnant…for most probably a stranger…what exactly am I supposed to do now…certainly the universe must be mocking me…please advise me
Anonymous Post From Lively Stones Fan
Photo Credit:Best Life Online
Well,it may not be easy ,you just have to open up to your husband just same way you told him about the s*x.
It might not even be the way you’re seeing.
Have run some test to know if it’s not his baby. Either ways you should tell him the truth. Am sure he will not allow you to abort it.
Before discussing it with him pray and ask God to soften his heart not to be mad at you.
Oh boy! This is deep! Serious! That means your hubby can’t father a child!? Keep that baby oo! Start to make arrangement in case matters that touch the soul arises! Find a way to to tell him and above all, PRAY!
Having unprotected s*x with a stranger is woefully wrong bc as you are legitimately married. As regards the paternity of the child, from your story you slept with two different men within 24 hrs. Any of them could be the father of the child. Do not abort the child. After delivery any controversy can be sorted out. Repent from your ungodly ways.
It’s most likely your one night stand is responsible for the pregnancy. You’ve been having unprotected s*x with your husband for years and never fell pregnant, your husband has been the one with the problem all along. Pls keep the pregnancy.
This is God’s way of answering your prayers.
Keep your child ,it’s not like your husband is not aware of your indiscretion. I’m sure you’ll both work it out. Do a DNA test after child birth.
This is Your prayer answered please be happy and enjoy the feeling of being an expectant mother. Their is a chance the baby could be your husband’s. After delivery you can go for a DNA. He agreed to an adoption he might accept the child even if its not his. Its a good thing you told him about your indiscretion and you guys have forgiven each. Come to think of it he cheated too and if in the process he got someone pregnant you would have been forced to accept the situation.
I would advise you tell your husband but after sometime. Let him believe he his the father, even though there is every chance he might not be the father. You have to be prayerful too.
Obviously you have to tell your husband cos if you don’t, he will still figure it out. Men are not driven too much by emotions like women. So he will be rational in his thoughts, and figured it out that u have been pregnant since the last time you had s*x with a stranger.
If he accepts it, fine. if he doesn’t, it is also fine. You just have to carry your cross by yourself. Your marriage is going thru this crisis as a consequence for your infidelities.
May God help you both
Both men slept with you that day so you can’t really tell if the baby belongs to the stranger or your husband. From your story you slept with a stranger, got home and told your husband and had a fight. You both made up and he made love to you so the baby might just be his. Have your baby and if you feel guilty go do a DNA. If it’s isn’t his he would adopt the child because you were both in the process of adopting one and the child would still be yours. It shows you don’t have a problem and it could be from him.
You have to tell your husband… Mehn. This would really make me be very conscious