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How I Got Entangled In An Open Marriage But Jealousy Is Tearing Me Up

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How I Got Entangled In An Open Marriage But Jealousy Is Tearing Me Up

Hello ma,

I want to remain anonymous. It started about a year ago. This lady (lets call her Gloria) was employed to work in our company. When she resumed with us, it was obvious that she could not do the job. I don’t know how she was selected but within the first two weeks, it was very clear to everyone that she did not know what she was doing.

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From afar, I watched how she struggled with her job. I felt sorry for her. So, I went to her and asked her if she needed help. She just burst into tears. I then promised to help her learn the job very quickly.

So for the next couple of weeks, I was like her mentor, putting her through the job. She was a fast learner …thank God. In between showing her how to do the work, we gisted a little sometimes. I found out that she was referred by her uncle for the job, who is friends with our MD..cos there was no way she could have qualified for this job by the normal standards.

I also got to know that she was engaged to be married. I had no intention of getting involved with her but having worked together, we became close naturally. Sometimes, we took same transport home after work. Sometimes, she would order same Uber for us. The Uber would drop me off cos my place was closer and take her home.

Sometimes, I saw that our colleagues jokingly called me her office husband but she always made it clear that she was engaged and there was nothing between us. I was her go-to for anything in the office and she was happy that I always had her back.

After like 4 month after, she ordered an Uber to take us home after work one day. We started the journey and she was like, hmm..one of these days, she will come and know where I stay. I was like, ah…will your fiancé not object…she said no…that her fiancé trusts her and he is not the jealous type.

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As a matter of fact, as we journeyed, it began to rain and when I got to my place, she said she would like to come in and know my place that night. I was like, oh but when will you get home, she said no worries…she will get another Uber. So, she got down from the Uber with me to my place.

On getting to my place, I showed her my apartment and she was like, wont you invite me in? I looked at her…with questioning eyes and she asked me if I don’t want her to come in or if my girlfriend will nto allow it. I told her I don’t have a girlfriend, so she came in. She liked my apartment and complimented the way it was furnished.

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Next she asked if I wont offer her a drink. I told her I am a bachelor, I did not store anything in the house. She strolled into my kitchen and saw a cartoon of noodles. She offered to make me noodles. So, I ran out to a shop in my street to buy eggs and sardine for the noodles.

By the time I returned, she was in the kitchen making preparations. I thought she just wanted to make a quick dinner for us,eat and go. But after she made the noodles, which was veyr delicious…she made no move to leave. Infact…she cleaned up the dishes and asked if its ok if she spends a little time chatting with me. I said but its getting late and she was like…if she cant find an Uber, she can spend the night.

My eyes popped wide open. I now understood what she really wanted. So, I relaxed and we got chatting and she said she really wanted to thank me for putting her through at work. I said no problem. She asked to use the bathroom and I showed her. Next thing she returned from the bathroom in Nothing but her underwear (bra and pants) I was confused.

This lady who was supposed to be engaged started to kiss me and do all kinds of crazy thing. I went along cos I was by this time going crazy from what she was doing to me. Then shocking, as things went further,…I found out that she was a virgin. I stopped and told her I could not do it. I told her to keep it for her fiancé.

Then she told me she was indeed keeping it for her fiancé but they are having issues cos she found out that he cheated on her. So, clearly, she wanted revenge. I tried to talk sense into her but she said she would rather give her virginity to me for all I done for her …that I have been like a very good friend and saved her job. I told her this was too much to say thank you but this girl, virgin or not…knew how to do things to my manhood and I lost the debate.

We had s8x. I was her first. I tried to be gentle and she was something else. From that day on, we started having s8x after work. Sometimes, she would stay the night, sometimes she would leave. I was falling in love with her and I thought she was too but a month later, she showed me her wedding invitation. I was devastated but she said, she was getting married to avoid disgrace to her family.

So I then told her we cannot continue with our relationship cos I cannot be with a married woman. We broke up and she got married. I felt angry cos I was in love with her but I tried to let her go cos I truly cannot mess with a married woman cos karma is a bitch. What if my own wife did that to me?

Two months after her marriage, she came to my place unannounced on night. When I saw her at the door, she told me she needed to talk to me cos it was urgent. I allowed her in and before anything could be said, she was on me. I tried everything I could to push her away but I did not try hard enough cos my junior clearly could never say no to her.

After making love, she kept telling me that she cannot stop thinking about me and that she wants us to continue being friends. That her husband cannot satisfy her like I do. I told her I will not be with a married woman. But I still cant resist her anytime she comes to me.

When she got pregnant…it was no surprise…we were f*cking almost everyday after work. I don’t think her husband was sleeping with her as much as I was doing.  I accompanied her to terminate the pregnancy. And it was then, I made up my mind to end things with her even if it means I resign from my job. I was feeling so guilty removing my first offspring.

When I sent in my resignation to my company, my MD rejected it cos he did not want to loose a good hand like me. I had to think of what else to do. I then sent Gloria’s husband a message. That his wife was cheating on him. I was desperate and wanted to expose her so she can leave me alone.

Shockingly, the husband replied the text and said he is aware his wife is cheating with me and that its ok as long as there is no pregnancy involved and we are discreet. To my uttermost shock…Gloria and her husband decided to have an open marriage after he cheated on her and she did not tell me.

They both signed agreement after Gloria started a relationship with me. Gloria and her husband have the  conditions of the open marriage as there would be no child outside wedlock and it must be very discreet. That was why she went ahead with the marriage plans. So, the husband is allowed to see other women too as long as Gloria can see other men. The husband even called me to say: man to man…he will never leave Gloria and I must remain discreet no matter what.

I don’t know how else to free myself from this. The knowledge that Gloria is allowed to be with me made things more complicated. She is married openly but she is in love with me but cannot have my child and she cannot leave her husband. Apparently, Gloria’s husband is from an religions and influential family and they want to avoid a divorce scandal.

Finding myself a new girlfriend has been difficult cos most times, me and Gloria are together. I feel like I cannot even leave her. I feel she is the only one that can leave me. I cannot seem to be able to leave her yet she cannot be mine 100%. Now, I am beginning to think of eliminating her husband which has surprised myself. I never thought I would one day want to do such a thing cos of a woman. I feel so enraged with jealousy when I think of the fact that she is also f*cking her husband.

I never used to believe in deliverance as this kind of situation goes against my principles…yet I feel helpless in freeing myself cos Gloria has got me under her spell and I need help.

Anonymous

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Jzhane
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

1 COMMENT

  1. Hello. Honestly, you have allowed your greediness to takeover you, you claim you love her….no you don’t love her, its the S.e.x you love, she gave you her virginity cos of the help you rendered to her in office….how stupid, how foolish, you are even planning of killing her husband, can you see how wicked you are. Her and her husband are not practicing open marriage, what they are practicing is ADULTERY, ou the writer is practicing murder, if you don’t know sleeping with another Mans wife is murder, you better know now. Even if a kan allows you to sleep with his wife, when you fave GOD’s judgement, that man won’t have there to suffer for you. You need to change your ways man, she kept coming to your house and you kept opening the door and you claim she is pushing you. GOD bless you man.

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