Jay (not real name) and I have been in a very sweet relationship for the last one year. We met at a party in Abuja but clicked right after when we got back to Lagos. I must say this has been the happiest one year of my life. I met Jay’s family 3 months ago and I fell in love with them as I love him.
The only person I had not met is Jay’s twin sister (Jasmine…not real name) who lives in South Africa. We talk on phone. I always assumed she was a single mother because she has 2 children but she never speaks about the father of her children. I did not want to ask Jay because I felt if he wanted to tell me he would.
Jay proposed to me last month and I am the happiest person on earth right now.My family also supports us. I cannot wait to get married and maybe have twins like Jay and his sister. Since then,wedding plans have been going on. God willing ,everything will be done before the end of this year.
However, I just found out something that is really disturbing me. In fact, this revelation has shaken me to doubting if I can go ahead to marry Jay. So,I found out that Jay’s sister is a lesbian. It turns out the lady that I saw on so many of her social media pictures was her partner.
In my naiveness,I thought they were just very good friends. I had no idea that the children they also had was conceived with IVF. This revelation came one day as I was discussing wedding plans with Jasmine. She was supposed to help me buy a wedding gown from SA. She had sent me several designs to choose from.
One of the dresses was worn by a popular gay celebrity couple (I do not want to mention names) and I made a statement like,I do not know why anyone would think being gay was normal. I noticed she was quiet for a few minutes. I asked her if she was ok..she said yes. Next thing she asked: do you have anything against gay people? I said to her what I believe is that no one was born gay or lesbian but I am not against it.
That was when Jasmine said to me: I am a lesbian. I was shocked. I told her its a lie and she cut the call. That was when I asked Jay and he confirmed it. The whole family is aware and they support Jasmine. I feel somehow because I never knew jay or his family would approve of such of a thing.
Since that time.even though I have sent an apology sms to Jasmine,I have never been the same. Jay noticed that I was a bit quiet and he asked me. I told him how I felt and he tried to explain or justify being gay or lesbian. That really made me realize that I did not know jay as well as I thought I did.
Then Jay he was once bi-S.e.xual. Meaning,he used to like both men and women. But that he had decided to marry a woman when he fell in love with me. At that point, I couldn’t stand hearing what I was hearing.
Jay has said he hates cheating. He had said several times he could not stand cheating. But now that I know he considers himself a bi-S.e.xual…a bi-man? I am beginning to fear.Being a lesbian or bi-man….I do not know which is worse. But clearly this bothers me. Jay has said I have nothing to fear because he has made a commitment to me for the rest of his life.
I just feel so confused. Will I be compromising my values and faith if I still go ahead and marry Jay knowing what he thinks about this subject matter? Besides this,Jay and his family are the sweetest people I have ever known. I just cant shake off this part of them off…
If you were in my shoes,what would you do?
Anonymous Email Post
Photo Credit:Shutterstock
It may not be easy ohhh, the fact is anything you know you cant stand in marriage ,please quit now that’s still a bit early.
Follow ur heart n listen to the Holy Spirit is saying to u,becos the Holy Spirit is a super guide, please ask him
If I was in ur sheoes will I hold him to his words or not.confused here too.But follow ur heart.Can u really endure a bi-man.Will u feel comfortable when he hangs out with his friends without thinking otherwise
What if He doesn’t change, will you be able to live with him and have a peaceful home? If you can then its your choice.
Don’t marrying with the hope that he will change because he may never.
Do people who are gay really change? Except by having a new birth in Christ and being committed to God with a determined resolve to change, it’s a matter of time, they go back to being gay.
You need to really pray and make sure you have peace about it.
Humanly speaking, change is hard to achieve.
Please quit I beg you…you won’t like the end because you haven’t even heard and seen things yet I swear.
Follow your heart..
If you think you can’t cope,there’s no need going into the marriage with him…
The decision of your happiness is in your hand, and I belive you know what is best for you, so take your time to relax and thinks straight on how to go about it and I know the lord will lead you through.
Stay away from anything that goes against your beliefs and values no matter how sugarcoated they may be
Please Run for your life, Anything that goes against your beliefs should not be taken lightly
Hi,
Your guy is bi-s*xual? Well,if he believes in such s*xual orientations, there is a possibility that might play out in your lifetime together with him.
He may have changed. You just never know. Is this a risk worth taking for you?
As for his sister…what she does should not bother you. If you choose to marry her brother…just stay away from her as much as possible.
Do not judge her but let her know you do not encourage her lifestyle and would prefer to have some boundaries.
That may not go well with her brother and their family. Then again…maybe this is your sign that you should move on.
Instead of trying to manage to be in a marriage where you have doubts and concerns.
Pray about it…God will lead you.
[…] October 2019, Boseman got engaged to his girlfriend, singer Taylor Simone Ledward, according to Page Six. The two were pictured […]