I Dreamed Of My Ex For Three Years & Now He Is Back-Pls Advice
I need honest advice please. I am not a saint but I also believe no one is perfect. Six years ago, I met Hugo (not real name). A very handsome guy. He drove a flashy Mercedes Benz and had a sweet smile. We met at a function. I was with my boyfriend and he didn’t even care, he flirted with me and trolled me.
Later on, I found out that he investigated me and got my no from a friend. He told her that he fell in love at first sight with me. I thought he was crazy. I had a boyfriend but Hugo did not give me any space. From money to expensive gifts,my boyfriend and I broke up and I started to date Hugo.
Being with Hugo was crazy yet magical. It was the happiest time of my life. I counted myself very lucky. However, I found out Hugo was into yahoo (internet fraud) and I became worried. I told him to end it or I leave. He kept promising to leave but that I should be patient.
We were getting too serious and I found out I was pregnant. If I had told Hugo, he would have married me right away because he always said he can’t wait to marry me and get me pregnant so we can have beautiful babies. But I panicked cos even though Hugo was promising to end his lifestyle, he only went deeper and deeper.
Two of his acquaintances were nabbed by law enforcement and Hugo went into hiding. I was so scared that I did not know what to do. I turned to his only friend that I knew who asked me to chill out in his place until the dust settles.
This friend claimed Hugo said I should maintain that all will be well soon. But I could not talk to him directly cos he was scared of being traced. I was vulnerable and always crying. One day, his friend asked me why I was crying, I could not tell him but we slept together.
He was so sorry after and begged me to forgive him. We both committed the crime and I begged him to say nothing to Hugo….but after a month, no word from Hugo, I had to terminate the pregnancy before I would begin to show…I did not want to be pregnant without a father….it was better to move on with my life.
Three years later, Hugo reappeared in my life. But now, I am in another relationship. I told him no way am going back to meet him. Hugo then told me that he has truly quit the old lifestyle. He even has a new look. Hugo apologized to me and told me he is into legit real estate and automobile businesses now.
I wont lie…I have strong feelings for this man. I have thought about him every day for the last three years. I tell myself that I can move on from him but since he reappeared, you know Hugo…he is not backing down. He is now causing trouble in my current relationship that my boyfriend is getting suspicious.
My issue is: how do I know that Hugo will not go back to his fraudulent lifestyle? All my body, spirit yearns for him…we talk about the goals we had and I sincerely want to do life with this man…he is kind, romantic and very caring. He swears he will not go back to that life …
Another thing, is the little indiscretion with his friend when he disappeared? He cant blame me cos he left me…I intend to keep quiet about that …I hope his friend keeps his secret too cos we both made that mistake…
Does this make me a bad person? I just pray I don’t make that mistake again.
What should I do please?
Anonymous
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Hugo or whatever he is called can’t just reappear from no where to cause trouble, okay. If you want to allow him cause trouble in your current relationship, no wahala. Hugo snatched you from the previous relationship and you broke up,now he is back wanting to scatter this one again,if he had not showed up, wouldn’t you have continued with your life and your relationship? Hugo’s friend will tell him one day what you people did,so be wise. Have you thought of him going back to the same illegal business and then he disappears again? Nne forget about him and concentrate on how to make your relationship work,hope you are not a heart breaker? You broke your ex’s heart when you met Hugo and now you are planning on how to break this one’s heart,haba! Fear God nwayioma
I feel no advice you get here will change anything you plan on doing afterwards, since you have let your mind to be clouded fully by emotions for your ex. You are just looking for an advice here that will support your plan to go back to Hugo and that will give you better wisdom on how to do it without hurting your current boyfriend. But sorry to disappoint, you are on your own on this one bcos I doubt if anybody here will support such. Going back to Hugo will end in another premium tears and your love for him won’t solve anything when he gets apprehended in the future or if he later decided to go back into doing yahoo yahoo when he is low on cash. Love is good but life doesn’t revolve around love alone. You must always think outside of love, when planning for your future.
Marylyn has already said all the other things I needed to say. So no need for a long talk. Let me just end it with this.
Stop breaking other guys’ heart bcos of Hugo. Abeg just stop it. If you should go back to Hugo later on and it still didn’t work out, pls don’t date anyone again. Just wait patiently till when Hugo comes back around bcos if you should do, this Hugo relationship thing will continue over and over again like a cycle even when you are married.
No wonder wise people always say we should beware of ladies (or guys) who are yet to move on from their previous exes bcos they will always go back to their exes when they meet each other again.
You nailed it. I love this point.
You had a boyfriend, but hugo kept disturbing you, sending you gifts, and you broke up with your boyfriend, I can just imagine how often you told your former boyfriend that you love him, you can’t do without him, but you still broke up with him, and now a new boyfriend, you want to do same thing, like Bob dammu has said, you know what you will do already, you just want someone to stylishly tell you to do it. My sister, you are a greedy person, you are stingy, I don’t know why people can’t just be honest dating one person, my ex this my ex that. Of you truly love your current boyfriend, you won’t even be bothered about Hugo, well, you broke up with your former boyfriend so we are not surprised you are already contemplating breaking up with your current boyfriend. Stop your greed sister. GOD bless you. I am Akin