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I Lied To The Love Of My Life Because I Was Scared Of The Truth

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I Lied To The Love Of My Life Because I Was Scared Of The Truth

The love of my life is Nifemi (not real name). I knew the day I saw her picture on IG. I was so stunned and captured by her beauty. I initially started liking her photos and just commenting until she noticed and started liking mine back. After a while, I gathered liver to slide into her DM and the rest they say is history.

Being with Nifemi changed my life. I am head over heels in love. The first day we met in person, I almost peed on myself with excitement. How can someone be so stunning yet so humble and so friendly and single….wow, God smiled on me. We grew as friends over a year and naturally, we knew this was going to lead to marriage.

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On valentine’s day, I made the most romantic proposal anyone has ever seen in this part of the world for some time now. I was completely living my dream. However, I held a secret within me and everyday, much as I knew I should tell Nifemi, I was so scared that this secret will destroy everything we have built together.

The secret is that there is an age difference between me and Nifemi that she is not aware of. I am 26 years old but I lied to her that I am 31 years old. I never meant to hide my real age from her but in the first two days of chatting with her, I asked her her age and she told me. I immediately freaked out cos I knew I stood no chance if I told her that I was 5 years younger than her.

Yes, she was 31 years old. I asked her what is her view about marrying someone younger than her and she said, never. That she cannot marry someone she is older than cos she would never be able to see past the fact that there may be disrespect or feelings of insecurity involved. So, the best for me was to lie and say we were same age.

However my age, I am the most mature person you can meet. I finished school at age 20 and finished my masters at 23. I have been working since my first degree and I am doing well for myself. I do not want to loose Nifemi. Our traditional wedding is next weekend and still this secret is burning my heart.

Sometimes I think I should tell her, sometimes I feel I should wait until we are married so she wont have a choice after all. I felt she would see and understand why I had to lie, cos I am all she wants in a man. But sometimes I feel she might be really hurt and think our entire relationship was based on a lie.

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I wish I told her earlier but I was scared shit and still scared. I need your advice. Should I take the risk and tell her, at least before our wedding next week or just carry on and when she finally finds out, hoping she would understand how much she means to me that I had to lie. I need some objective advice to help me resolve this and finally be able to get this weight off my chest.

Anonymous

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Jzhane
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

5 COMMENTS

  1. Dear poster
    Kindly and openly tell your older lover your real age while she is in a good mood.

    The truth is anything built on false hood wouldn’t stand the test of time
    .
    Dear poster
    It’s better you open to the lady now, than imprisoning her in a marriage built on lies.

    A broken relationship is far much better than a broken marriage.

    Say the truth and let it set you free
    God bless you

  2. Tell her now before you get married to her.
    Any relationship based on lies cannot stand the test of time.
    Pray about it and tell her.
    You need your peace of mind and only telling the truth will give you that peace.
    Accept whatever comes out of you telling the truth as the will of God

  3. Sit her down, before disclosing it to her, first remind her of her much she means to you, tell her why you can’t lose her, remind her of how much you love and cherish her…..then tell her. I wish you luck.

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