Is My ‘Husband’ Truly In Love With Me Or Is He Trying To Deceive Me?
I am 47 year old lady based in Canada (not real location though). I came back home in 2015 to marry my boyfriend of 9 years and he disappointed me. His secret wife found out about our wedding and crashed the wedding. The disgrace was too much. I ran away quickly back to Canada where I cut off from every guy for almost a year.
After several months, a former course mate from Nigeria chatted with me and was like he has been trying to travel abroad but no luck since. He was like why don’t we have like a contract marriage, he will marry me and give me children . He just wants connection to travel abroad. I said no initially but with age not on my side, I was over 40 years and I wanted a child badly, so I considered the idea.
He was able to come over after our wedding in Nigeria and even though the marriage was not based on love, I had a cordial relationship with me. I got pregnant and gave birth to twins three years ago. He is a dutiful dad. The only thing was that, he used to chat with this woman back in Nigeria. I think the woman is his girlfriend or so. Well, I did not let that bother me cos we had an agreement.
Well, my husband secretly brought his girlfriend to Canada last year and they have been seeing each other. That was not part of our agreement cos I gave him the connection to come here, not to bring his own girlfriend here. We argued about it and he was like, I should not bother about that. That he and I have a contract but the contract did not specify he cannot bring someone else to Canada.
Since the girl came in August last year, my husband stopped sleeping with me. I told him I have needs and if he does not do his bit of sleeping with me, then I have no option than to find myself a man to please me. He ignored me. I started seeing someone in last month. Just friends with benefits. Only for my husband to change drastically. He began to make advances back at me and always seemed to want me.
In fact, he told me he loves me for the first time and I am now confused. I asked him why the change in attitude and he said he just realized how much I mean to him. That he did not realize until he almost lost me. I asked him what about the girlfriend he brought to Canada and he says he feels like he owes her. So, he cannot leave her.
Right now, its like my husband has become husband of the year Caring so much for me and my kids. Being so sweet and all. I had to end my relationship with the other guy but I am confused cos that other lady is still in the picture. Does that mean that I am now in a polygamous marriage? I spoke to my friend about this and she said I should not trust my husband. That his intentions is to chop from both women and keep both women, that he is selfish.
My friend wants me not to be fooled by my husband’s change of behavior and profession of love so she asked me to post this on Lively Stones to get the opinion of others. Please house, what do you think, is my husband being genuine or is he trying to fool me into thinking he loves me? What do you think is end game is going to be?
Anonymous
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Do not be carried away with his sudden change of attitude, this is a contract marriage remember,he can decide to do what he wants even though he is the father of your children. Just be careful, keep watching him closely, hope you are not giving him your money? The other girl is still in Canada,so be watchful. It is well
It could be true that he truly cares for you but that girlfriend will always be in the picture for now unless the girl decides to leave him ( because I am sure this girlfriend knows about you). Just be open minded but alert. You have what you wanted, children, so focus on raising your children and if your husband is a gentle man he will support you in raising them.
Don’t over think it and become paranoid. Just be careful really. As long as your husband is not financial dependent on you, everything will be fine, give him a chance to truly love you and the children.
Your friend is right…there must be a reason behind the change. You could play along for the mean time
Whatever you do, do not, I repeat, do not give him your money or whatever he could use to wreck you. Be alert!