Michelle and Barack Obama are one of our all-time favorite couples, from their effortless style to their goofy sense of humor, tight-knit family, and so much more. And with the advent of The Michelle Obama Podcast, we’ve got one more avenue from which to hear updates on the former First Family, with Michelle revealing her own surprising revelation about her nearly 28-year marriage with Barack. Alongside a never-before-seen throwback wedding picture from 1992 of Barack and Michelle with icing on their noses(!), Michelle reflected on her recent podcast conversation with guest Conan O’Brien — and the way she described her marriage makes it clear that a sweet and silly wedding snap like this doesn’t tell the whole story.
The former First Lady drew us in with the stunning photo of her and Barack on their October 3 wedding day (the white bowtie! that lipstick! those earrings!), then kept us there with a thoughtful remark about how her and Barack’s relationship has evolved since then.
Last week on The #MichelleObamaPodcast, Conan and I reflected on our marriages. This relationship can be one of the most foundational pieces of our identities — bringing us so much joy, meaning, and support every single day,” Michelle wrote. “But one thing is for sure: It also takes a lot of work; a lot of honesty with ourselves and our partners. That’s one thing I’ve learned. I’d love to hear some of the things you’ve learned about marriage and about yourself.”
We never thought of Michelle Obama as someone who considered her marriage to be a foundational part of her identity, though of course she’s spoken at length about the role it plays in her life and the enormous value she places on it. But by acknowledging her marriage as a living, evolving part of her daily life that she’s constantly both putting work into and getting rewards from, Michelle gave us a new way to think about how our relationships affect who we are.
Per Michelle’s definition, a marriage isn’t a stagnant fact; it’s a series of interactions, and you get out what you put in. Calling her marriage her identity doesn’t mean Michelle would be lost if she weren’t Mrs. Obama — it means that, right now, her marriage supports her, challenges her, and helps make her who she is.
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