My Dad And My Boyfriend Are Disagreeing With Each Other -Please Advice

My Dad & Boyfriend Are Disagreeing With Each Other -Please Advice

Hello ma,

I need your advice. I will go straight to the point. My name is Janet (not real name). I am 29 years old. I have been unlucky in relationships for a long time. I was actually in one for almost three years. That is story for another day. But since then, I been single and praying to God that my next relationship must be the one that will lead to marriage cos, I am no longer getting any younger.

Early this year, I quit my job to work in my father’s company. My dad’s company which has been the family business was struggling for a while and he asked me to come help out with the Accounting. The business is struggling and for some time now, talks about downsizing has been going on but some how, we have been managing to go on without really cutting down staff.

I met Mike (not real name) who works in the printing section of the company. For some reason, we got talking, first, just official talk but he was friendly and before long, we became friends. He invited me for his birthday and I also invited him for mine. We got closer and he told me his intentions to date me. I told him I have no intention to date aimlessly cos I am focused on marriage.

Mike agreed that we should see how things work out and that it may lead to marriage. We both also agreed to keep our relationship private cos as you know, I am the boss daughter. It would look somehow that we are in a relationship. Mike is nice and I can say I am in love with him. He may have some faults but he is a good person.

Unfortunately, the section where Mike is, the management decided to shut it down last month. I was worried for Mike so I told my HR to see if they can move Mike to another section. Unknowingly, the HR lady has a thing for Mike. Mike told me that she wanted them to date but he refused, so instead of helping Mike, she actually put Mike’s name for downsizing.

It was a shock to me and Mike when he saw his name on the list. At the time, I was so angry, I cursed out the HR woman and reported her to my dad. My dad was not happy that I was in a relationship with a staff and did not tell him. You see, my dad is a very principled man. He said he cannot recall Mike cos it would seem  unfair to others who got fired. That people would say its cos Mike is sleeping with me that they did not fire him.

I have begged my dad but he says, Mike should be a man and find a job somewhere else. I am not happy with this and Mike is not happy with this. Mike feels like I betrayed him even though there is nothing I could have done to change this situation.

Mike is suggesting that we break up cos he feels if the woman he is going to marry and his future father in-law cannot help him, then he is not sure he will feel comfortable in the marriage. My dad’s point is, Mike should prove that he s not just dating me cos I am the boss daughter. That he should prove his real intentions for me by getting another job somewhere else.

I love Mike but this situation sucks. I really am feeling upset with Mike and my dad. I feel like its male ego disturbing both of them. My dad is right but so also is Mike. I mean, if Mike is going to be my future husband…what is wrong is hiring him back even if his name is on the termination list.

Please what should I do in this case…how do I convince my dad or how do I convince Mike to ignore my dad. They have not formally started a relationship as future in-laws but they are already fighting. I used to see Mike as my husband, now with what is happening, is that still possible?

I do not want to loose Mike…but do you think he is justified by saying me and my father should give him his job back cos both of us are in a relationship? Please advice on how do handle the situation with Mike or my dad.

Thank you.

Anonymous

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