My Daughter’s Ex Wants To End His Marriage To Be With Me-Pls Advise
The purpose of writing my story is just to get this off my chest. Its been like a burden for a while. My name is Titi (Not real name). I am 55 years old. My first husband passed on 20 years ago living me with four children.
I raised my children all by myself. I did all kinds of jobs and it was not easy. I vowed to stay unmarried because my late husband’s family showed me pepper. They treated me bad after his death. Even when my husband was alive…he also did not treat me well. He controlled my life and I had little or no say in the marriage.
His death was a surprise but also my freedom. That is not to say I have not had any relationships since then. But I made it clear to each man that I was not going to get married. I did not also want to have more children if I got married. I was done having children.
To the glory of God, my children are doing well today. My eldest son and daughter are married. While the other two, one was engaged to someone close to my age. He is 45,my daughter is 24. They tried to make it work cos they were so much in love but I think the pressure of the age difference thing made it difficult for them.
As fate would have it, I stayed in my daughter’s ex place in Canada last year. My daughter contacted him for me because even though things didn’t work out for them, we are still like family to him. He happily received me. And I stayed in his place for a period of 2 weeks.
Anytime any of us travel to Canada, we stay in his place. This man finally found someone to marry him even though my daughter was still single. He invited us to the wedding and only I could travel to attend. I stayed in his apartment with his brothers who also came in for the wedding.
This man calls me mummy. S*xy mummy cos everyone knows I don’t look like my age. Thank God for that. That night, before the wedding, we partied in his house and while everyone went to bed, this man came to me, maybe a bit drunk and started telling me that he was only getting married cos he is getting old. That he is not in love with his wife to be.
I told him not to marry out of pressure but love. He then told me that he loves me because I remind him of my daughter . But that the age bracket with my daughter is the issue. I asked him what he was trying to say. He said he feels he has strong feelings for me cos I remind him so much of my daughter.
Maybe it was the alcohol but we ended up sleeping together that night. Yes…the night before his wedding. I felt horrible but he was very sure he wanted to be with me. We argued the next day cos he wanted to call off the wedding and I did not want to be the woman to cause another woman pain.
I could not attend the wedding. I left that day. I could not tell anyone what happened. He go married to that lady quite alright but since that day…he has not stopped trying to convince me to give him a chance. But I asked him…if he was so sure I was the one…why did he still get married that day?
He said he was confused and did not know if I would ever agree to be with him…since he did not want to be alone anymore and getting older, he married the lady…Do you know he went and told my daughter about us…to prove how serious he is. My daughter was happy and she has been telling me to give him a chance. My daughters think he will be perfect for me.
I lost my mother two months ago and he flew in to attend the burial. We spent time together, slept together. He affirmed his love for me again. He spent quite an amount on me. I eventually told him ok to his proposal. I would be his woman if he divorces his wife or we can remain lovers. But he says I must marry him….he knew I vowed to remain unmarried.
I like my freedom. I do not want to be married and be subject to any man again. I know he is a good man but I do not wish to be under a man like that again. Is this love worth trading my freedom? I cannot even give him children. I have not told him that sha. Or maybe I should tell him to just forget about me.
He gave me till end of this year to give him an answer….what should I do? I really need this to get off my chest….and be ready with the best answer to this situation.
Anonymous
Photo Credit: That Sister
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Hello sister. I will be very honest with you, you said h calls you S.e.xy mum…what nonsense, why will a man call you S.e.xy, you have gotten to familiar with him, you slept with him knowing too well he was about to get married to another lady, you even said you will marry him if he divorces his wife..that’s very wicked of you, you knew what you were doing all along, how would you feel if someone did that to you, you are 55 years old madam, you are my mums age mate ma, pls act elderly… Im not being rude but honest with you, I hope you understand. You need to block him off, on WhatsApp, call, Facebook and the rest even from you house, your daughter to should do same, as a 55 years lady you know what to do, even a lady in her 20’s knows what to do. Pls madam, act elderly and your age. If you dare marry that man, mark my words, he will chest on you even with your daughter, cos you snatched him from another lady so don’t be surprised when he cheats on you, that man is in lust with you not love, cos you said you don’t look your age and he call you S.e.xy mum…that’s rude of any man to call a lady. I’m sure he is a jiggalo, and he would have slept with you daughter and now he has also slept with you. I find it funny when I hear people say they are in love when they know its actually lust and S.e.x. If you ever meet that man again I’m sure you will have S.e.x again, and that’s like murder cos he is a married man. So madam, I’m advising you like a mother to me, so stop the excuses and do the right thing. I wish you all the best. I am Akin.
Tell him all your conditions. You need to be open with him. Remember that if he divorces, it will be because of you.
Or will you be a willing to be a second wife? That is another option.
Madam think about what you want to do oooo,leave that man alone.
Am ashamed of you.u re 55,,,why not act ur age?how could u stoop so low as to date ur daughter’s ex?
That’s quite shameful
Pls quit that demonic relationship cos as a mother u won’t be happy if an older woman do such to ur daughter by asking her husband to divorce her so she can marry him
Madam u re still older than this man with 10 good years nd u can’t even bear him kids so why not leave to develop love nd feelings for his new wife?why distracting him?u re the reason he is loosing focus on his woman
Pls tell him ur condition of not bearing kids then cut every ties with him nd block him off
He is just lusting after u not love
Besides,ur daughter could hv married him despite the age difference,,,I don’t think is a big deal
Bottom line is,u snatched ur daughter’s ex nd plans to destroy his new home
Pls desist
Ma I will advice you to leave that man and move on with your life to me you made a great mistake for sleeping with him at the first place a man who could do that on his wedding day can do more ,who even knows if that is not the reason he has not been able to get married since all because of cheat please open up your mind to this man help him to stay with is new wife to bear him kinds since his getting old and he dose not have one before help him to become a better man
Madam,
Marriage is sacred before God. Please leave this man to try and make his marriage work.
You are in an adulterous affair and I do not think that you are leading by good example at this age.
Let the man be. Focus on being a better version of yourself. Do not be the cause of another person’s pain.
There is no justification for cheating with a married man or woman…or cheating at all.
Please do better.