My Family Is Depending On Me To Break The Marital Curse-Pls Advise
I want to remain anonymous. I am struggling whether to write this or not but I am very tired and I don’t know what else to do. So, my name is Lydia. I am 38 years old, actually next week is my birthday and I turn 38 years old. I have am from a family of four: 3 girls and one boy of which I am the last.
The reason for writing this is because all my sisters and I are still single, only my brother is married. My sisters are 44 and 41 while my brother is 39 years old. I and my sisters have been very unlucky in relationships. To be honest, its not like men do not approach us but the ones that have come always have issues.
To be honest, let me speak for myself, I am not materialistic neither am I too picky …I just don’t know what is going on…its like someone placed a curse on us which we have looked for solution everywhere and prayed and fasted for many years. In fact, I fast every day for the last 4 years. I really do not know what is wrong. Who did we offend?
It is my desire to get married. I am beautiful, I have a steady job and I am a born again Christian. What else am I missing? I have been in 3 relationships since 2006 when I graduated from school yet, none of them worked out. I was a good girlfriend, their families loved me, I cooked and looked after the men yet, they still managed to dump me…one sha, I had to end it cos he just kept cheating no matter what I did to forgive him.
Now, I am in a relationship which started last year December. We were introduced by a mutual friend. When I met him, he had just come out of a four year relationship with a woman who had a child for him. They could not get married according to him because his family and the girl never agrees. That the girl is hot tempered and always fighting with his family, so he decided to end it even though they have a child together.
As a responsible father, he sends regular upkeep money to the baby mama which I am aware of. Now, I just found out that the baby mama is four months pregnant for him. It was actually the baby mama who sent me a message to inform me to leave her man so they can work out their issues. She said if not for me, they would have been married…that she is pregnant for him. My boyfriend did not deny the pregnancy. He said it was a mistake and that he is willing to prove that its me he wants and not her.
A family meeting was called, both family sent representatives. At the meeting, my man told everyone, that to prove that he wants me, he wants us to get married by court next week or month…anytime I want. Everyone is saying I should forgive and do not allow an outsider come and scatter what we are building together.
I have really thought long and hard about this matter. My parents are happy that there is a man coming to marry me…but how do I marry a man who slept with his ex even while we are together? What if he still has feelings for her and continues to sneak behind my back to see her? His actions though show how remorseful he is but what if he is deceiving me?
My elder sister said I should go ahead and marry him so that we can at least break whatever curse has been preventing us from getting married. You see, its not easy being almost 40 and over 40 and not married or have a serious guy in relationship. The rumors and gossip about me and my sisters not being married has made my parents stop going to social events or travel home for any occasion to avoid the stares and gossips.
Everyone in my family is looking up to me to get married since there is a man coming for me…my two sisters have not been with a man for almost 5 years now…my only issues is this baby mama issue…from experience, it appears no man can be faithful to one woman…maybe I would have been married now if I was not looking for a man who does not make mistakes.
Apart from this one matter, this man is a good man, cares and supports me. He is very hardworking too, my parents like him alot. I am sorry if I appear undecided…my mind is very confused…one mind wants to break up but another wants to marry…I have been praying to God for guidance.
I do not want to loose another opportunity…my man has really begged me and I feel he is actually remorseful. He thinks the baby mama may have jazzed him cos he said he slept with her only once…I do not know how true that is but I know his family does not like his baby mama at all…its me they prefer…his siblings tell me that all the time.
Yesterday, I woke up having a bad dream….the dream was that another woman got pregnant for my man again. Is this a sign or is this my fear projecting unto me? Or is this some spiritual attack on me, to miss another marriage opportunity? Please what should I do?
Anonymous
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If you truly love him marry! And also never releant in your prayers
Ask yourself one question: if you were not under pressure to break this curse, would you still go ahead to marry this man?
If you love him and can deal with the baby mama issue,please go ahead. Since his family loves you and supports you please marry. Please also have and know why you are getting married, don’t marry because you want to break a curse, because of peer pressure, because of age or because your sisters are not married or because you don’t want people to speak ill of your family. Always have at the back of your mind that this man has two children already and his baby mama will always come in between you both. Make you checkmate it well well oooo,it is well with you my sister. Keep praying, don’t give up or backslide.
My dear sister, I will be honest with you. Pls DO NOT MARRY HIM, you said your family like him, of cos they will say that cos they just want you you to marry so at least they can say its now remains two ladies.
You also said, he begged you, of cos he will pretend to be remorseful, pls DO NOT fall for his gimmicks.
You also said, his baby mama told you to leave her man alone, TRUST ME that’s how she will always be involved in the marriage, if you eventually marry this man, now again she has another child making it two, so you see she will always be view.
This man is only acting all loving and caring now to deceive you, when you marry him, do not be surprised he will say, he married you out of pity, he will make reference to your elder sisters to mock, trust me you wil wish the ground swallows you. DO NOT MARRY THIS MAN, i repeat, DO NOT MARRY HIM.
You said this “What if he still has feelings for her and continues to sneak behind my back to see her? His actions though show how remorseful he is but what if he is deceiving me?”….exactly, this is what he will do, he will sneak behind your back, he is just acting remorseful to deceive you, cos he knows you are of age and desperate, so he knows it will be easy for you to fall for his gimmicks.
I think the issue with you and sisters is spiritual, I advise you go to Winners chapel @ ota or MFm , you and your sisters should go together, some Sundays are dedicated for marital issues, PLS GO there, or you can get a genuine man of GOD, pls GENUINE one oo, to pray to know the cause of the problem, where the problem is coming from and the solution to the problem. Pls it must be a genuine man of GOD oo.
My dear sister, you will be fine ok, honestly, women who go through this kind of issue, i really feel for them, its a lonely road and can really make you sad, but pls do as I have advised, this issue is a spiritual problem, how can three sisters at those ages not be married, something is wrong somewhere. Do not take any advise here telling you to marry that man, it will end it tears and regret.
GOD bless you sister. I am Akin.