Good morning ma,
Please hide my ID if you decide to post my issue. I met my fiancee about a year and half one day on my way to walk. We shared a seat in the bus that day. My car broke down and I was using public transport for the time being. Meeting her changed my life.
Linda (not real name)is smart and intelligent. Also very godly. She is a committed member of one of these big Pentecostal churches where she is a church worker. She gave me her number and after chatting for a month,agreed to be my girlfriend. She made me want to be a better Christian. Of course,there was no s*x even though she allowed me kiss her once in a while.
Linda is actually 4 months older than me and we are both inseparable. My family loves her and her family has accepted me. Our wedding was supposed to be in April but because of the lock down,we posted it to July,which is next month. Being engaged and in love is not easy. But Linda always tried to stop me anytime I start kissing her and going too far.
I want her more and more and cant wait for the day she will become my wife so I can make love to her the way I have always dreamed. However,something happened that changed everything.
Linda has never spent the night in my place before but one day during the lock down,she came visiting and somehow,we lost track of time,so she could not go home as the curfew had started. I told her to spend the night and promised to behave myself. But we watched a movie that night and maybe the movie aroused us cos when we started kissing…even Linda couldn’t stop me.
For a split second,I tried to say:babe…should I stop,she didn’t respond so I carried on.What surprised me was that Linda was really into this. I could tell she wanted it too. And that really excited me. We made mad passionate love. It was intense and all through the night. Personally,I was quite surprised at Linda’s experience with s*x.
That would have been the happiest day of my life. I was like,is this what I have been missing? Linda climaxed more than 3 times and the the third time exploded like a bomb. And everything went south….Linda called out her ex name as she climaxed. I know the guy’s name because she told me. It was unbelievable and in one split second.
I was shocked and stopped immediately, looking at her. She realized what she had done and tried to behave like she did not know what she was doing. In her defense,she said the last time she had s*x was when she was with her ex,two years ago and being in the moment,she must have felt she was with him again.
As a guy,that really hurt me. I was like,why call another dude’s name during s*x with me. She made me believe it was because she has not had s*x for so long and the last person she did it with was her ex. Her explanation seemed right. I mean,I know she is not a virgin but calling another guy’s name…maybe the experience took her back to her last time…I don’t know…what else should I have believed?
Anyway,after that night,Linda refused to allow me and said we must keep our promise not to have s*x until after marriage. The only problem now is,Linda is pregnant! Six weeks pregnant. She just found out and she is very upset. She says its from the night we made love that day she slept over.. I recall getting her the after pill the next morning so I am a bit taken aback that she is pregnant.
Our wedding is in July,but Linda wants us to get married in 2 weeks. She is afraid of showing and being expelled from her position in church if she is found to be pregnant. I told her,2 weeks time will make no difference as our wedding is July 25th. Linda is frantic and says 25th is too far,that she will be showing by then.
I love Linda but my spirit tells me something is wrong. Her pushing the wedding forward is creeping me out. Even if she is pregnant and I am the father,why rush it,after all,I am not denying her? Why is she so afraid of being expelled,we can get married in my church or any church or even do court wedding only if the church does not allow us.
So,I had a dream and in the dream,Linda was crying and apologizing to me that the pregnancy is not mine. Note,I am hardly a dreamer. I cannot remember the last time I had a dream and this one is really disturbing me. I told my Auntie that raised me cos I lived with her more than my family.
Auntie said she also had a dream. That she was told to pray for my upcoming marriage in the dream…that something evil was going to happen but if she prayed,it will not. So,she has been praying . She said she did not want to alarm me so she prayed and fasted for me.
Ma,with my dream,my Auntie;s dream, Linda calling her ex name during s*x with me,getting pregnant and calling for a hurried wedding…I am getting paranoid. What am I missing here? Is Linda trying to pin another man’s pregnancy on me? We dated almost 2 years,never had s*x,only once we did it and she is pregnant and wants to get married immediately?
I know she is a good girl but why do I still feel the way I feel? Should I confront Linda? Should I investigate her? Or am I just getting worried for nothing…She has never given me reason to doubt her faithfulness except that night when she called that dude’s name and with these 2 dreams…I feel confused…I appreciate your counsel and advise from others here. Please what do you think?
Anonymous Lively Stones Telegram fan
Photo Credit:Medical News Today
Do a little investigation to see if u can find anything to confirm ur suspicion it not before marriage cos disappointment before marriage is better than disappointment in and after marriage
Marylyn Obioma
I will suggest you try and calm down and dont rush things
Thanks for reaching out. How I wish there was no pre marital s*x. Express your reservations to her about the ownership of the pregnancy. Clearly indicate that you will run a DNA test post delivery. Wed her when it’s most convenient for both of you.
Suspension from the church should have been thought of before engaging in s*x with you. Thanks
Phil 4v6 NLT
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.
Talk to her try to find out what is really going on cos my gut feeling tells me she is lieing
Sit her down and talk with her gently. Tell her your dream which i know is a revelation. Madam has been playing away and that’s why she is desperate to pin it down always immediately.
Finally, as disappointing as it may seem….this is actually a blessing. It is better before marriage than after marriage. And also brother, a lady doesn’t scream her ex’s name during passionate s*x if she doesn’t have strong feelings for him even after two(2) years like she claims.
She seems like a good lady but we all make mistakes, however; the biggest mistake you will ever make is to ignore every warning…physical, spiritual and even from your aunty and still rush into marriage.
Any good thing is not to be rushed biko and neither is good marriage…it takes…like you guessed…#Time.
Investigate her if that will make u feel ok,n another thing is that, u need to take ur mind back to wen u guys had s*x,count from that time till now from there u can tell if the pregnancy is urs. N the aspect of she calling her ex’s name during s*x would have been a mistake,I’m not sure she did that intentionally just to spict u. So don’t hold that against her,n u can also talk to her about everything to clear ur doubts. Good luck
Well…. it’s okay when a church girl get pregnant and want to wed before it’s start showing.. that’s understandable…… calling out her ex name could be as a result of past memories playing in her head…. but you need to remember when you had s*x, calculate the number number of weeks if it had up…. But please it takes once to get pregnant oooo…. since you’ve not been suspecting her before now…
Humm ..you dont trust her anymore because of what she said during your intercourse and you have started harbouring the fact that the pregnancy isnt yours which is bad ..why do you want to marry her if you cant trust her?i guess from what you said I could decipher that she was trying to control herself so as not to sleep with u coupled with the fact that she isnt a virgin in a close door on a cold night she vulnerable so it normal for her to respond to your advances ..her calling another guy name is totally bad and she already apologized and gave you reason y she did that ..and again she is a worker in church so she been ashamed is normal for someone that has a wedding date fixed with dis kind of thing happening to her and she is trying to hide it so that the world wont know..actually July is close so I will advise you talk to her and let her know that you are with her in it assure her you arent leaving her and let her know that she been pregnant isnt a shame and should embrace dat fact but plz dont face her with infidelity it could break her…thou you can still do your investigation underground but not to her face plz
Oh no, you should have waited for just a little bit more…. July 25th !
Anyway, both of you should go to the hospital you personally can trust to give you true result of the pregnancy test….to confirm the authenticity of the time frame you had the affairs.
The Medical test will at least let you know where you’re standing with the true position of the pregnancy. You can then work on the wedding plans.
Cheers.
Well, if I would opine you call her over on an arranged date and iron stuff out with her. Love without truth is already shaky. You might decide to let it lie and when it would boomerang, it might be so bad that you might not contain it yunno.
The best thing to do in this situation is to talk to her, don’t get too pushy or mad about what she’d say. Don’t equally hope too much, it might be for the guy. So relax, talk to her, expect the worst. If it’s yours, good and fine. If it’s not, if you’re the kind of guy that could forgive such deceit, I’d say you’re one strong man. But on the other hand, if you can’t, I wouldn’t blame you. Don’t get violent with her ooo. Before you end up in jail for killing or something.
If she keeps on lying to you and you’re sure she’s lying, give her some space to be truthful with you when she’s bold enough. If she’s doesn’t come off with the truth, guy, leave that marriage and pray to God for another. I know it would be hard but of what essence would it be to be with someone who doesn’t truly care about your feelings?
Well, just pray and follow your heart. I hope I’d be on the bright side
Carry out an in depth investigation as regards she and her ex, if they saw themselves recently and other vital information. Pls also don’t play down your dream and that of your aunty. I feel something is not in tandem here.
Investigate the matter before confronting her
Hi,
You are unsure and confused. Why not have a heart to heart discussion with your girl. Let her know your fears and dreams.
After that,ask her to bear with you,to spend time to fast and pray. I also do not see how two weeks wait can make a difference. She is already pregnant,no need to rush. Get married when you are both ready.
As for if she still loves her ex or the baby is for someone else….only time will tell.
Time : because until the baby is born,you cannot carry out a DNA test,so be patient. Wait for the birth of the child to do your DNA test to be rest assured if the baby is yours.
You also need time to do some digging. Investigate and do a background check on your fiancee and her family. Ask discreetly around about her past relationships. You may have someone else do it for you though.
If you still love her,marry her …..time will tell if she is messing with you or is truly in love with you. Calling out her ex name is strange but who knows really …maybe she is telling the truth…people do and say cray things during the heat of the moment.
Do not let uncertainties stop you…you did have s*x with her and there is a probability the baby is your…just pray and God will guide you.
All the best.
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