My husband is so authoritatively & proud! I fear were this is leading our marriage to.
Good morning,
Please post for me,I really need advice from the group and please hide my ID and notify me when posted so I can be reading the comments,
My husband is so authoritatively, what I say in the house doesn’t matter, since three years now,he doesn’t do anything,even when I save some money and gave him to buy a bus so he will be driving it to help in some areas,he went and buy a bus because the body is new, but the engine is bad, even when I told him to go with a mechanic so he will not buy the spoiled one, he refused and went alone,I still gave him money to buy a new engine for the bus, instead of going with a mechanic,he still went alone to onitsha,yet buy the wrong one.
The mechanic end amending the engine and adjusting to to fit for the bus, since last year that bus has not bring home any money, rather than taking from me the more,he gave it to drivers to be driving it, everyone of them will drive and eat and be satisfied, and end up complaining one thing or the other,he will carry it and give to another person,the same thing will still happen, he can drive but he don’t want to drive the bus rather than sit at home from morning to night doing nothing but pressing his phone all day,I still get another opportunity to buy another bus that I want to register in transport company, because my own is new and sound,he park his own and hijacked my own, telling me to register it for him to be the driver,but I don’t want him to drive it because he will also be telling me sorry everyday,he doesn’t provide for the family.
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I’m the only one paying children school fees, providing food, and paying bills,he will sit at home every day eat morning afternoon and evening,if I complained,he will tell me that other woman out there are doing it,yet they are covering up,if I quarrel with him,he will bit the children at every little thing they do,if my children tell me what they want to do,I give them go ahead, when they do it as I instruct them,he will bit them,if i told him I’m the one that tell them to do it,he will still flog them and it I tried to lament he will even go ahead and flog them the more, I always have issues with him because of the way he used to flog them, he see me as my opinion doesn’t matter when ever his disciplining the children, his children fear him like a lion,they don’t relate with him but he doesn’t care, his mother and siblings are tied of talking to him,they now tell me to take my decision.
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my problem here is that I don’t want my marriage to be like my parents marriage, because my parents separated when I was little, this is exactly what I’m trying to avoid, because I don’t want my children to experience the same thing I experienced,but it’s seems like I’m losing it, like I can’t stand it anymore, please I need advice from matured married men and women, sorry for my long post
From: Marriage Seminar
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You are better off than being married to that man. Get yourself your apartment and your peace of mind. You are in an abusive marriage believe it or not.
Hello sister. I am moved by your statement that – “my problem here is that I don’t want my marriage to be like my parents marriage, because my parents separated when I was little, this is exactly what I’m trying to avoid, because I don’t want my children to experience the same thing I experienced”.
Let’s take look at it from this angle and see if there’s going to be a change and improvement.
Be more committed to praying for your family especially your husband that God should touch and take a hold of him.
Don’t be a nagging wife to him, be sweet instead
.
Don’t interfere whenever he tries to discipline your children……in the presence of the children, but talk to him in love and with respect when the children are not with you.
Respect him with more love and understanding.
Keep praying and never give up to pray to God
Wait and see the positive changes that will take place in your home by God’s grace.
May God Almighty uphold your home and bless it with His peace
Hi, your husband has a f**ked up upbringing. He can not give what he doesn’t have. He can’t train he kids right because he was never trained right. Whoever he lived with as a child, treated him like this, always flogging and never showed affection. It has fully registered in his subconscious and this is the outcome. He is raising his kids the exact way he was raised. There’s nothing you can do about that. You can’t help him only he can help himself when he realises he was a victim, and he may never realise.
Your husband is a victim of failed parenting. Watch the movie ‘Fences’ it’ll help you understand better.
My advice is you should take yourself and your kids away from him. FULL STOP.